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Can a child know they are gay at...

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age 11? A friend of mine came to me and told me her 11 year old DD ( just turned 11) dropped a bomb on her and said she was gay.... can she know at that age,?She hasn't done anything sexually......My friend doesn't know what to say to her DD to reassure that she loves her, doesn't know what questions to ask.....I mean she has reassured her she loves her  but she is just a little shocked and wondering if her DD might just be confused. She asked her DD what she thought it meant and her DD told her exactly what it meant..... but can the child just be confused?


by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Replies (41-50):
wodntulk2kno1
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:09 AM
I would think so
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GaleJ
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:01 AM

I respectfully disagree, I don't think this response is necessarily appropriate to the moment. I think that I would tell my child that I love them just as they are without any of the comparisons and without the "heads up" because it could be construed, especially in the head of an almost teenager who is just becoming aware of her sexuality and may be a bit off balance, as the parent giving them a "way out" of their sexuality or even as the parent's wishful thinking that this might just be a phase. I think the important thing at this particular moment is immediate and absolute acceptance without qualification.

Quoting ShadowLark:

If it were my daughter, I'd say something like this.  Ok, you could very well be gay.  If you're gay, you're gay.  That's fine, I love you just the same and I'll stand by you through thick and thin just like I would if you were straight.  But just as a head's up, there ARE some kids who go through a phase around your age.  They THINK they're gay but then as they get older, they realize that they were never gay to begin with.  If that happens to you, that's also fine.  The most important part is you finding yourself and being true to yourself.  I love you as long as you do that.


maureen813
by New Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:08 AM
Well, she can feel some attraction to members of the same sex but really she will need some years to mature and develop before she has a very solid sense around her own sexually. I would not get overly concerned if I were your friend. Female sexuality, especially, can be very fluid.
Itzy0ll0tl
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:23 PM

i remember ahving my first cruch at tha age, so if her crsush is a girl....

ladyraven16
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:27 PM
Idk. I had a gf at 13 the whole 8th grade year. We kissed and felt each other up but never went below the belt. Both of us are with men now. It was a phase.
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Sunshine257
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:33 PM
I don't know.. I knew I liked boys at a young age. Why would it be different for a gay child.
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parentalrights1
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Well I think it's like with us straight people. We don't have sex to know that we are straight. We just see cute boys and we have crushes on them. No sexual encounter necessary
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Due9
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:54 PM

I don't know

AHmom103
by Alexis on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:55 PM

 Considering gay refers to sexual orientation, I think 11 is WAY too young, but I suppose it's possible.

MommyLehr
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Definitely. She at the perfect age to start developing feelings like crushes an such, if she has realized that she is only looking at females the way all her friends are looking at boys, then yes she can know.
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