I'm still angry, and I'm still hurt. **yes, it is long. like a novel. consider yourself warned.)
a lot of people on here like throw in my face that i left my husband for a few months, back in the spring.
and then they try to act like the fact that we did get work things out between the two of us, and get back together, stronger than we were before, a bad thing.
He, himself, wasn't even the reason i left.
do any of you remember the real reason i left? It was because of his family.
not so much his parents, but his sisters, and his brothers....whatever the fuck she is. (you may have guessed from that, that i have no respect for her, this is true. she is trash in my eyes.)
I didn't start it.
I came home from the most heartbreaking, 3 days i had ever experienced in my life. the scariest shit i
have ever had to face. 3 days of very little sleep. emotionally, physically, mentally exhausted.
And his mom went all menopausal, 2 minutes after i walked in the door, and freaked out on my 7 yr old niece for playing with a deck of cards. does anyone remember this? i tried to just take my niece and my kids and leave, but she started calling my niece names, and i asked her, "have you completely lost your mind? what the hell is wrong with you?"
i mean, how would you have reacted?
then the girls are screaming at me, and saying that my sister wasn't her parents problem wtf should they have to had watched the kids for the night?
(keep in mind, less than 72 hrs before that, i had watched her die, on the bed right in front of me, screamed for a nurse, watched helplessly, as they tried to wake her up, the nurses rushing us from the room, and hearing the codes called over the speakers, watching the crash carts go into my little sisters room and hearing them call "Clear"...
.waiting until 2 am to make she is stabalized, then driving 2 hours home, crawling into bed, only to be woken a few hours later, being told to come now, we don't if she will survive this...)
and these girls are screaming at me, for leaving my kids and my 7 yr old niece, at my mil's house, which is on the same farmyard as our house. to go, run, be by her side. just in case.
it got ugly fast. i wasn't expecting it, i was completely shocked, and taken by suprise. of course i verbally fought back. then the name calling started, and i was everything bad under the sun, and lazy, a mooch, blah blah blah ( i have always worked, and paid all the household bills as well as groceries. dh pays off the loans for the cars and now the house we have since bought)
it didn't last long, but seemed like it lasted hours, and me finally me and my niece get out of the house, and run back to what was then my home, our house, and curled up on the couch together and just cried.
that was 7 months ago.
i am still hurt. i am still angry.
but there's MORE.
the next day i was informed that they thought i owed them an apology.
and i posted on fb "i can't believe they think *I* owe them an apology" didn't mention who "they" were, just that.
and then my bil replied saying all sorts of shit, basically that i wasn't good enough to be a member of the family, no one wants me there, just fucking leave already.
on my public fb wall. everyone saw it. everyone
the moms i used to hang out with and have coffee with while our kids had playdates, the girl who used to do my nails, the girl i used to hang out and talk horses with. my family. co workers. my kids teachers. he totally went off on me. so now, on top of all this, add public humiliation.
and i think some of you will remember the post my bil's baby momma posted on here? "i hate my sil too, and you ALL know her!"
remember that? it got deleted after i think 700 or somthing replies. i have a copy of what she said savedas well as a copy of the private fb convo we had while that post was hot, where she admits she is lying about me to make me look bad, ect.
this all goes down over the space of about 2 weeks. a week later, i had found a place to rent, and moved.
i was humiliated, i ran.
i couldn't face my mommy friends, after an inlaw said the things he said about me. i couldn't face the girl who ran the till at the coop even. everyone that i knew had seen the fb post before my sil made him delete what he said. a few of them were "friends" you know, the gossipy sort? you don't want to get on their bad side...everyone knew.
and you know what? i have been back to the farm, what used to be my home, once, since then. to help dh move his stuff when he realised i seriously would not ever go back, until i got an apology. a real apology.
and i still haven't got one.
i will not step foot on the property, i will not go out there when dh takes the kids, and if, when the baby i am currently pregnant with comes before they apologize, well, baby stays with me, i breastfeed. **shrugs**
right now dh is out there, and bil's baby mommma is also out there. around my kids....**great**
(i was so happy earlier today, because dh told me they had split up because bil was fucking some hot chick he works with. i guess she doesn't care if he is boning other women, because she went out and begged him back. )
i miss the relationship i used to have with my mil and fil. i miss the farm. and although i like the house we bought and the town, i miss our ugly old farmhouse.
but i have not gone to one family get together, i will not go out and visits on the weekends, i guess because i am stubborn.
these people caused damage to my life. if dh hadn't chosen us over the farm, my kids would have a broken family right now.
am i being a stubborn ass? like, i know i am stubborn....but i feel that i deserve a real apology.
and i'm still hurt, and i'm still angry.
posting in here so that anyone who wants to be an asshole, has to show their face. so sick of anons.
am aware no one cares and omg what is this a novel, blah blah, don't care. posting anyways.