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I don't know what to do about this...

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I am so upset with my 13 year old!
She asked to go to the drive in with friends I asked several times if an adult would be with them the whole time. She said yes. The plan was they would meet at mc Donald's and eat then the friends mom was going to take them to the movie. Well hubs dropped her off at mc Donald's and picked her up from the drive in. Apparently they walked from mc Donald's to the drive in at 6 at night (it's starting to get dark by then) then they went to an entirely different movie than the friends mom was even watching. I wasn't really comfortable with Te idea anyway because I don't know the friends mom well but I gave her the benefit of the doubt but letting a group of young teens wander around the drive in in the dark is not ok. I already told her that she's not going to be hanging out with those friends again unless myself or one of her friends who's parents I know well is there but, I don't know what to do about lastnight. My thought is as soon as the plans where different from what he told us she should have called us and told us in which case I would have picked her up. Since she didn't call and just went along with it she was lying to us about where she would be and with who. I don't know that grounding her would do much since most of the time she's not home she's doing school stuff anyway. I did tell her I expected the house to be clean when we got back from skating.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:12 PM
Replies (51-53):
mama2beautiesnb
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:38 PM
1 mom liked this
any word on ur sons running test yet?

Quoting FooLynRoo:

Okay  - how I would handle it.

I would explain to her - that as soon as plans had changed that you expected a call.

Tell her you did not like that she did not let you know she wasn't being supervised.

Then I would tell her in the future - when plans change you expect a call and you will make a judgement based on the situation (not necessarily call an end to it)

She's 13 not a little kid. I think within a drive in , they would be okay so long as an adult is on premises that they could go to.

This is the age where they start getting limited responsibility and free range.

And ask your child for that trust - and return it. Such as next time plans change, offer for YOU to supervise, or ask her to instead to text you ever 30 mins that she's okay.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mama2beautiesnb
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:40 PM
my friends n i did when we were teens. stayed in groups of 4 or 5. we were fine. we also live in small town oklahoma.

Quoting christina0607:

I'm all for giving kids appropriate freedoms and space....but seriously I think you have things very poorparenting skills to allow 13 yos to wander dark parking lots full of unlit cars.



Quoting FooLynRoo:

Okay  - how I would handle it.

I would explain to her - that as soon as plans had changed that you expected a call.

Tell her you did not like that she did not let you know she wasn't being supervised.

Then I would tell her in the future - when plans change you expect a call and you will make a judgement based on the situation (not necessarily call an end to it)

She's 13 not a little kid. I think within a drive in , they would be okay so long as an adult is on premises that they could go to.

This is the age where they start getting limited responsibility and free range.

And ask your child for that trust - and return it. Such as next time plans change, offer for YOU to supervise, or ask her to instead to text you ever 30 mins that she's okay.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
chasingrandbaby
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:46 PM

you have to worry about your childs friends AND their parents, everyone is different thats for sure!

A side note, I always drove as much as possible to get a better handle on what was going on , but to me more importantly, I ALWAYS picked up the group for a few reasons, I didnt want my kids waiting perhaps in the dark, I wanted to see where they ended up to get picked up and who was hanging around, and I could control the time frame, I didnt like not knowing if they were safely in a car yet and on the way home, this was also at a time that cell phones were not in use yet.. Times are stressful, communication is the key to possible success with your child

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