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Appropriate punishment for hair cutting?

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Edit: can't believe this is still going
1)my daughter is not newly 4, she is almost 5
2) I was punishing her bc it's NOT the first time, she's aware that she can't cut her own hair- that being said, the last time she did it was nearly a year ago so it's not an on going thing.
3) sorry for those who disagree but I don't adapt the world to my kids, they adapt to the world. I see no problem whatsoever with her having a pair of plastic scissors in her art box. Half of her homework involves cutting stuff to develop motor skills. Granted, the scissors are away at the moment unless she asks for them, but under normal circumstances- um, a kid her age can freely use plastic scissors in my book.
4) has nothing to do with me restricting her style. The kid dresses like a nutjob half the time and thinks she looks cool- and I let her. If she wanted to shave her head- id let her- I don't care about that stuff- but if she wants a certain style shell go to a salon like a normal person-she won't just randomly hack off stuff.
5) she does cut her dolls hair- yes, and it's with my permission - I don't see that as mutilation- and she actually does ask before she cuts it. She knows the difference between cutting a dolls hair and her own. She's being punished for being disobedient - she was NOT punished the first time she did it nearly a year ago but was told shed be in trouble if she did it again.

Am I really that crazy for letting my daughter have some semblance of independence and giving her the opportunity to Learn how to act appropriately rather than forcing her to by default?

My 4 year old cut her hair again.
This is the 2nd time she's done it (last time was probably 8 months ago- she was not "punished" as I figured she really didn't grasp when she was doing, and I had let her cut and style her dolls' hair so we just had a talk, and she had messed up looking hair for awhile (it was so bad we did the best we could at the salon)
So now she did it again- and before any of the saintly moms here tell me I shouldn't have left scissors around - it was a pair of safety plastic scissors - its kept in her easel/drawer. She does quite a bit of artwork and I'm more of the "you will learn to use this appropriately" rather than the "I am going to hide everything from you and monitor every object you play with"
Now she KNOWS very well she was not supposed to cut her hair - trust me we've discussed the past incident many many times.
I'm toying with the idea of a pixie cut to show her if she's going to cut her hair, she'll have it all cut off- but I don't have the heart or backbone- I don't think at least.
What would you do?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:28 PM
Replies (21-30):
momswag
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:41 PM
That sucks for your kids.

I have a four and six year old. They have say when it comes to their hair and guess what?

They've never cut their own hair. They could if they wanted to, but they don't. I guess because I don't have the mentality that they're young children with no say in how they look.


Quoting graybealgirl:

Are u serious right now! She's a small kid. Not a teen small kid. She has no say in her haircut




Quoting momswag:

Why can't she cut her hair? It's her hair and it's not hurting or ruining anything.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LucyHarper
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:42 PM

Don't leave scissors, even plastic safety scissors, within a small childs reach, especially one whose cut hair in the past. If it can cut hair, it can cut skin, a child that age needs to be watched when using any sharp object. I would take away some privaledges, like some favorite toys, any video or computer games, tv, sweets, away for a week, and the scissors would be moved out of her reach, shes proven that shes not ready to have them unsupervised. I believe in teaching kids the proper use for things rather then hiding things as well, but some things are just necessary for safety reasons.

Punkie74
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:42 PM
2 moms liked this
She's obviously not ready for unsupervised use of scissors. It's a shame you intend to punish her for your poor decision.
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momswag
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this
How so? By cutting her eye or ear? Well that could be done when she uses them any way, not to cut her own hair.

Argument fail.


Quoting melissam78:

Because she's 4 years old and could have hurt herself!!!!




Quoting momswag:

Why can't she cut her hair? It's her hair and it's not hurting or ruining anything.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Its.me.Sam.
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:43 PM

i disagree.  she is 4 and she has an opinion on what she likes  there is nothign wrong with allowing your child to have some say in how they dress and look.  its not that they have the whole say.. just that there is nothign wrong with allowing them to help decide.  my kids have always been allowed to pick their clothing and general style - but its within reason.. like no parkas in the summer etc.. same with hair... as long as its age appropriate and does break any major achool rules there is no reason to not allow them a sense of self expression in their style.... no need to be a control freak about that stuff.

Quoting graybealgirl:

Are u serious right now! She's a small kid. Not a teen small kid. She has no say in her haircut


Quoting momswag:

Why can't she cut her hair? It's her hair and it's not hurting or ruining anything.


LiliMama18
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:43 PM
Ok so I asked her why- she doesn't want bangs. I explained that you don't cut bangs that you have to grow them out and that by her cutting them, she just made the process longer.
Daddy already dished out the punishment (no tv tonight) so I'm off the hook.
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militarywife09
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:44 PM
I don't punish for cutting HER hair. She's the one that has to look goofy. Not me.
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stefvan
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:45 PM

 I would take the scissors since she hasn't learned to use them appropriately.  And, take a few of her favorite things for a while.

LaughingTattoo
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:45 PM

You should see my 3 yo's bangs...............the way I think of it...she has to live with the rediculous bang, not me

SareyF
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:45 PM
As long as my kids have been able to express it, I've let them have their hair however they like. Granted, we do professional cuts. Neither of my children have cut their hair yet (knock on wood). But what is the harm? Self expression (like choosing a hair cut or their outfit) is very healthy and there are bigger things to battle over.
I would put scissors up and only allow them with strict supervision since she does not use them strictly in the way you intend her to. And I would get her hair cut the way she wants so maybe she won't want to cut it herself.


Quoting graybealgirl:

Are u serious right now! She's a small kid. Not a teen small kid. She has no say in her haircut




Quoting momswag:

Why can't she cut her hair? It's her hair and it's not hurting or ruining anything.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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