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Appropriate punishment for hair cutting?

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Edit: can't believe this is still going
1)my daughter is not newly 4, she is almost 5
2) I was punishing her bc it's NOT the first time, she's aware that she can't cut her own hair- that being said, the last time she did it was nearly a year ago so it's not an on going thing.
3) sorry for those who disagree but I don't adapt the world to my kids, they adapt to the world. I see no problem whatsoever with her having a pair of plastic scissors in her art box. Half of her homework involves cutting stuff to develop motor skills. Granted, the scissors are away at the moment unless she asks for them, but under normal circumstances- um, a kid her age can freely use plastic scissors in my book.
4) has nothing to do with me restricting her style. The kid dresses like a nutjob half the time and thinks she looks cool- and I let her. If she wanted to shave her head- id let her- I don't care about that stuff- but if she wants a certain style shell go to a salon like a normal person-she won't just randomly hack off stuff.
5) she does cut her dolls hair- yes, and it's with my permission - I don't see that as mutilation- and she actually does ask before she cuts it. She knows the difference between cutting a dolls hair and her own. She's being punished for being disobedient - she was NOT punished the first time she did it nearly a year ago but was told shed be in trouble if she did it again.

Am I really that crazy for letting my daughter have some semblance of independence and giving her the opportunity to Learn how to act appropriately rather than forcing her to by default?

My 4 year old cut her hair again.
This is the 2nd time she's done it (last time was probably 8 months ago- she was not "punished" as I figured she really didn't grasp when she was doing, and I had let her cut and style her dolls' hair so we just had a talk, and she had messed up looking hair for awhile (it was so bad we did the best we could at the salon)
So now she did it again- and before any of the saintly moms here tell me I shouldn't have left scissors around - it was a pair of safety plastic scissors - its kept in her easel/drawer. She does quite a bit of artwork and I'm more of the "you will learn to use this appropriately" rather than the "I am going to hide everything from you and monitor every object you play with"
Now she KNOWS very well she was not supposed to cut her hair - trust me we've discussed the past incident many many times.
I'm toying with the idea of a pixie cut to show her if she's going to cut her hair, she'll have it all cut off- but I don't have the heart or backbone- I don't think at least.
What would you do?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:28 PM
Replies (31-40):
Robin_TripleA
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:45 PM

My DD 4 did this a few weeks ago. I took her to salon to fix it, and the hairdresser gave her a "what for". Maybe a stanger doing so will help. 

It also helped that I told her that we would shave it off to look like her brothers. I think that was enough lol

Also, hide the scissors better!

LiliMama18
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:46 PM
She can dress herself-trust me she comes up with some crazy outfits and I'm fine with that. I'm VERY ok with stuff like that. She could get a Mohawk for all I care, but she's going to get it done in a salon w someone who knows what they're doing.



Quoting Its.me.Sam.:

i disagree.  she is 4 and she has an opinion on what she likes  there is nothign wrong with allowing your child to have some say in how they dress and look.  its not that they have the whole say.. just that there is nothign wrong with allowing them to help decide.  my kids have always been allowed to pick their clothing and general style - but its within reason.. like no parkas in the summer etc.. same with hair... as long as its age appropriate and does break any major achool rules there is no reason to not allow them a sense of self expression in their style.... no need to be a control freak about that stuff.


Quoting graybealgirl:

Are u serious right now! She's a small kid. Not a teen small kid. She has no say in her haircut





Quoting momswag:

Why can't she cut her hair? It's her hair and it's not hurting or ruining anything.




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LucyHarper
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Actually putting an effort into making sure your kids don't hurt themselves isn't being saintly. I get it, accidents happen, you leave the scissors on the table, but what you are doing isn't an accident. Shes four years old scissors with a blade, even a blade with plastic around the sides, are not age appropriate things for four year olds to have in their reach whenever they want. She is not old enough to handle them responsibly on her own, thank God it was only her hair that got cut. She obviously doesn't know how to use them appropriately and should be supervised until she does. Kid in my town did the same thing, took a pair of plastic safety scissors to cut their hair, they accidently cut the top of the ear off. How many times does she have to chop her hair off before you learn that shes just not old enough. Teaching kids to use something appropriately doesn't mean giving them 24/7 unsupervised access with it.

Quoting LiliMama18:

Refer to the "to all you saintly moms..." line in the op. they're age appropriate scissors. The kids not going to be living in a scissor free world- she's gotta learn to use them appropriately.



Quoting Christy1919:

First time shame on her.  Second time shame on you.  Put the scissors away



lilblu399
by Tamika on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:47 PM
I wouldn't fix it or try to even it out, just let it be. Anyone ask, "She tried being her own hair dresser."
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LiliMama18
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:48 PM
She would FLIP if I cut her hair short - she is ├╝ber conscious of her style. Her style may be a little nutty but yes it would be a gigantic punishment.


Quoting JulyBabies:

Does she not care about what her hair looks like? If you told her you were cutting it very short now, would she be bothered by it?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momswag
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:49 PM
See, she didn't like the look she had and she used her four years of wisdom to problem solve, albeit short term she did.

Instead of punishing for cutting her hair, punish her for a misuse of the scissors. Specify they're for cutting PAPER only, no hair, clothes, shoes, toys, etc...


Quoting LiliMama18:

Ok so I asked her why- she doesn't want bangs. I explained that you don't cut bangs that you have to grow them out and that by her cutting them, she just made the process longer.

Daddy already dished out the punishment (no tv tonight) so I'm off the hook.
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Lynette
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:49 PM

at 4 you need to only have her using scissors when you are watching.  This time it was her hair.  But next time it could be a plugged in cord. 

LucyHarper
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:50 PM

Kid in my town did cut the top part of his ear of with safety scissors while trying to cut his own hair, if he had been supervised with them, then it wouldn't have happened, I watch my kids with scissors and teach them to point them down toward the paper above the table, they start to raise the scissors to face level, I say no, so they learn how to use them correctly, its called watching your kid, so no, that wasn't an argument fail.

Quoting momswag:

How so? By cutting her eye or ear? Well that could be done when she uses them any way, not to cut her own hair.

Argument fail.


Quoting melissam78:

Because she's 4 years old and could have hurt herself!!!!




Quoting momswag:

Why can't she cut her hair? It's her hair and it's not hurting or ruining anything.


LiliMama18
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:50 PM
Its not plastic coated scissors - the blades themselves are plastic. Don't ask me how it actually cut through her hair, but other than the hair cutting there is really no danger.


Quoting LucyHarper:

Actually putting an effort into making sure your kids don't hurt themselves isn't being saintly. I get it, accidents happen, you leave the scissors on the table, but what you are doing isn't an accident. Shes four years old scissors with a blade, even a blade with plastic around the sides, are not age appropriate things for four year olds to have in their reach whenever they want. She is not old enough to handle them responsibly on her own, thank God it was only her hair that got cut. She obviously doesn't know how to use them appropriately and should be supervised until she does. Kid in my town did the same thing, took a pair of plastic safety scissors to cut their hair, they accidently cut the top of the ear off. How many times does she have to chop her hair off before you learn that shes just not old enough. Teaching kids to use something appropriately doesn't mean giving them 24/7 unsupervised access with it.


Quoting LiliMama18:

Refer to the "to all you saintly moms..." line in the op. they're age appropriate scissors. The kids not going to be living in a scissor free world- she's gotta learn to use them appropriately.







Quoting Christy1919:

First time shame on her.  Second time shame on you.  Put the scissors away





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sucker4myloves
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:50 PM

When my niece cut her hair she got left with stupid looking hair and we all told her how ridiculous it looked, the other kids laughed at her and she didn't do it again. Might seem harsh but ya know what, don't cut your hair lookin stupid then.

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