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Appropriate punishment for hair cutting?

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Edit: can't believe this is still going
1)my daughter is not newly 4, she is almost 5
2) I was punishing her bc it's NOT the first time, she's aware that she can't cut her own hair- that being said, the last time she did it was nearly a year ago so it's not an on going thing.
3) sorry for those who disagree but I don't adapt the world to my kids, they adapt to the world. I see no problem whatsoever with her having a pair of plastic scissors in her art box. Half of her homework involves cutting stuff to develop motor skills. Granted, the scissors are away at the moment unless she asks for them, but under normal circumstances- um, a kid her age can freely use plastic scissors in my book.
4) has nothing to do with me restricting her style. The kid dresses like a nutjob half the time and thinks she looks cool- and I let her. If she wanted to shave her head- id let her- I don't care about that stuff- but if she wants a certain style shell go to a salon like a normal person-she won't just randomly hack off stuff.
5) she does cut her dolls hair- yes, and it's with my permission - I don't see that as mutilation- and she actually does ask before she cuts it. She knows the difference between cutting a dolls hair and her own. She's being punished for being disobedient - she was NOT punished the first time she did it nearly a year ago but was told shed be in trouble if she did it again.

Am I really that crazy for letting my daughter have some semblance of independence and giving her the opportunity to Learn how to act appropriately rather than forcing her to by default?

My 4 year old cut her hair again.
This is the 2nd time she's done it (last time was probably 8 months ago- she was not "punished" as I figured she really didn't grasp when she was doing, and I had let her cut and style her dolls' hair so we just had a talk, and she had messed up looking hair for awhile (it was so bad we did the best we could at the salon)
So now she did it again- and before any of the saintly moms here tell me I shouldn't have left scissors around - it was a pair of safety plastic scissors - its kept in her easel/drawer. She does quite a bit of artwork and I'm more of the "you will learn to use this appropriately" rather than the "I am going to hide everything from you and monitor every object you play with"
Now she KNOWS very well she was not supposed to cut her hair - trust me we've discussed the past incident many many times.
I'm toying with the idea of a pixie cut to show her if she's going to cut her hair, she'll have it all cut off- but I don't have the heart or backbone- I don't think at least.
What would you do?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:28 PM
Replies (41-50):
LucyHarper
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:52 PM
1 mom liked this

If it can cut hair, it can cut skin, and should not be in her reach unsupervised. You're honestly being irresponsible and asking for this to happen again. She's four. 

Quoting LiliMama18:

Its not plastic coated scissors - the blades themselves are plastic. Don't ask me how it actually cut through her hair, but other than the hair cutting there is really no danger.


Quoting LucyHarper:

Actually putting an effort into making sure your kids don't hurt themselves isn't being saintly. I get it, accidents happen, you leave the scissors on the table, but what you are doing isn't an accident. Shes four years old scissors with a blade, even a blade with plastic around the sides, are not age appropriate things for four year olds to have in their reach whenever they want. She is not old enough to handle them responsibly on her own, thank God it was only her hair that got cut. She obviously doesn't know how to use them appropriately and should be supervised until she does. Kid in my town did the same thing, took a pair of plastic safety scissors to cut their hair, they accidently cut the top of the ear off. How many times does she have to chop her hair off before you learn that shes just not old enough. Teaching kids to use something appropriately doesn't mean giving them 24/7 unsupervised access with it.


Quoting LiliMama18:

Refer to the "to all you saintly moms..." line in the op. they're age appropriate scissors. The kids not going to be living in a scissor free world- she's gotta learn to use them appropriately.







Quoting Christy1919:

First time shame on her.  Second time shame on you.  Put the scissors away






momswag
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:53 PM
You didn't state that in your PP. You said she could hurt herself.

Of course she should be supervised and take the proper precautions. The child should be punished for a misuse of the scissors not for cutting her hair.


Quoting LucyHarper:

Kid in my town did cut the top part of his ear of with safety scissors while trying to cut his own hair, if he had been supervised with them, then it wouldn't have happened, I watch my kids with scissors and teach them to point them down toward the paper above the table, they start to raise the scissors to face level, I say no, so they learn how to use them correctly, its called watching your kid, so no, that wasn't an argument fail.


Quoting momswag:

How so? By cutting her eye or ear? Well that could be done when she uses them any way, not to cut her own hair.



Argument fail.




Quoting melissam78:

Because she's 4 years old and could have hurt herself!!!!







Quoting momswag:

Why can't she cut her hair? It's her hair and it's not hurting or ruining anything.



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wildlilacs
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:53 PM
This is good, then take away scissors, no use for 2 weeks, then gradually allow with monitoring. She has to earn privialage back.

Quoting lilblu399:

I wouldn't fix it or try to even it out, just let it be. Anyone ask, "She tried being her own hair dresser."


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AmiJanell
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:54 PM

I'm not sure what I would do... most likely I would do nothing with her hair for awhile... let her look silly, maybe she will learn.  Later I would probably bring her to have her hair fixed and let her pick out he style... maybe if she has more say in the way her hair looks she will not want to cut it? I don't think my son would ever cut his hair... he's super proud of his curls... so maybe if she was super proud of her hair style she wouldn't want to alter it? I dunno.

I think as punishment I would take away her art supplies for awhile... if she can't use them appropriately then she shouldn't have them. 

toopicky429
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:54 PM
I would take her scissors away, since she has done this before. I had to do that with my son. First he cut one of my daughter's dolls hair off, and then later a huge chunk of his hair. He isn't allowed to use them without supervision now.
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LucyHarper
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:55 PM

I'm not the person you responded to. I was simply pointing out how in fact a child can hurt themselves with safety scissors.

Quoting momswag:

You didn't state that in your PP. You said she could hurt herself.

Of course she should be supervised and take the proper precautions. The child should be punished for a misuse of the scissors not for cutting her hair.


Quoting LucyHarper:

Kid in my town did cut the top part of his ear of with safety scissors while trying to cut his own hair, if he had been supervised with them, then it wouldn't have happened, I watch my kids with scissors and teach them to point them down toward the paper above the table, they start to raise the scissors to face level, I say no, so they learn how to use them correctly, its called watching your kid, so no, that wasn't an argument fail.


Quoting momswag:

How so? By cutting her eye or ear? Well that could be done when she uses them any way, not to cut her own hair.



Argument fail.




Quoting melissam78:

Because she's 4 years old and could have hurt herself!!!!







Quoting momswag:

Why can't she cut her hair? It's her hair and it's not hurting or ruining anything.




LiliMama18
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:55 PM
She did it 8 months ago. Wasn't punished. Has never had an incident with the scissors since. 8 months in 4 year old time is a very long time.


Quoting Christy1919:

you obviously knew she did it befor and yet you still have this same attitude. and that is why some kids require SUPERVISION


Quoting LiliMama18:

Refer to the "to all you saintly moms..." line in the op. they're age appropriate scissors. The kids not going to be living in a scissor free world- she's gotta learn to use them appropriately.







Quoting Christy1919:

First time shame on her.  Second time shame on you.  Put the scissors away





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andersongirl562
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:56 PM
This she needs to have consequences....put on your mommy hat and suck it up...this isn't for your benefit its for hers

Quoting braezmommy89:

I cut my hair when I was little & my mom took me to the salon & made them give me a "boys" haircut.



I havent cut my hair since!
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Christy1919
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:57 PM

really.?  You'r actually trying to defend your bad judgment.  Come on already you didn't do squat and not you made your husband dole out the punishment, get off the internet and go watch your kid already

Quoting LiliMama18:

She did it 8 months ago. Wasn't punished. Has never had an incident with the scissors since. 8 months in 4 year old time is a very long time.


Quoting Christy1919:

you obviously knew she did it befor and yet you still have this same attitude. and that is why some kids require SUPERVISION


Quoting LiliMama18:

Refer to the "to all you saintly moms..." line in the op. they're age appropriate scissors. The kids not going to be living in a scissor free world- she's gotta learn to use them appropriately.







Quoting Christy1919:

First time shame on her.  Second time shame on you.  Put the scissors away






LiliMama18
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:59 PM
The scissors are seriously not dangerous. I don't know how many times I can say that. She is getting them taken away (except for homework where she needs to cut) but they really pose no threat whatsoever.


Quoting LucyHarper:

If it can cut hair, it can cut skin, and should not be in her reach unsupervised. You're honestly being irresponsible and asking for this to happen again. She's four. 


Quoting LiliMama18:

Its not plastic coated scissors - the blades themselves are plastic. Don't ask me how it actually cut through her hair, but other than the hair cutting there is really no danger.





Quoting LucyHarper:

Actually putting an effort into making sure your kids don't hurt themselves isn't being saintly. I get it, accidents happen, you leave the scissors on the table, but what you are doing isn't an accident. Shes four years old scissors with a blade, even a blade with plastic around the sides, are not age appropriate things for four year olds to have in their reach whenever they want. She is not old enough to handle them responsibly on her own, thank God it was only her hair that got cut. She obviously doesn't know how to use them appropriately and should be supervised until she does. Kid in my town did the same thing, took a pair of plastic safety scissors to cut their hair, they accidently cut the top of the ear off. How many times does she have to chop her hair off before you learn that shes just not old enough. Teaching kids to use something appropriately doesn't mean giving them 24/7 unsupervised access with it.



Quoting LiliMama18:

Refer to the "to all you saintly moms..." line in the op. they're age appropriate scissors. The kids not going to be living in a scissor free world- she's gotta learn to use them appropriately.











Quoting Christy1919:

First time shame on her.  Second time shame on you.  Put the scissors away









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