That's IT ..i got fed up ...and i kicked my 10 yr old OUT OF MY HOUSE!!
Ok ..not really , but jeesh ...you were all down my throat when i needed to vent ...and now that i am happy and dancing and being proud of what me and DD have both accomplished ...you all are no where to be found LOL ...but the title got you to look , now didn't it ? :P
Yes , i am the mom that cut her DD's hair ...because she hit me (which was an occuring thing) and it was the last straw...yes i am the mom that sent the friend home , and ended the sleep over ...because DD was being disrespectful to me.
I took DD to her ADD specialist , whom i have been talking about these attitude /disrespecting problems since May, but this appt i brought in recordings of the week before and of that morning ...
The doctor had a long talk with the both of us (sort of like a counselling session) ..she asked DD some questions about how she feels most of the time ,
if she finds her self wanting to just say no to me without even thinking about it ~ to which she replied yes ,
if she gets frustrated really fast even at the times that she really doesn't need too~ she also said yes to this ...
.if she is upset about something at home~ she said that nothing in her home life has changed very much, accept for her dad not being with me anymore (but dr also knows he never lived with us in the 8 yrs we were together)
...if there is a new person in the home environment that is bothering her~ she said that no one was bothering her , and that she thought my new BF was pretty cool...and she doesn't have a problem with him.
We talked about the ectopic pregnancy that i had a year ago ( October 19th 2011) , and the relationship between me and her dad splitting up (november 27th, 2011) ...me and the dr talked to her openly about how everything made her feel. It did come out that she was mad at me for not taking her dad back.
This part kind of shocked me that a Dr. said this ..but she told DD ' when a woman loses a baby , it is a very hard time for her ..it is like a peice of her is no longer there , a woman looks to the man to be there for her...and your dad couldn't be , and he instead left her ..that is very hard on a woman to lose a baby and to lose the man that she loves, and it is very hard for a woman to be able to trust a man to be supportive of her after that ...your mom , is doing what she thinks is best and im sure that she is angry at herself for a lot of things ...please forgive your mommy and just try to love her as much as you can, because she needs you to be there for her ..not to be mad at her '.
She gave us something to do every night and every morning...she told us to make it a MUST that we say Good night / Good morning and I love you ....for those to be the last words that we say before we go to sleep and the very first words we say when we wake up.
Due to the recordings i brang in however , and the teacher's statemtents that she is getting worse at school ..the Dr, is treating her for ODD , on top of her ADD and separation anxiety...
But this past week alone , has been amazing!!
Granted she still has her little attitude's from time to time ..but she is 10 ..and showing signs of her period coming within the next 6-12 months.
She has been brushing her own hair , getting herself dressed ...not giving such a fight to doing what she is told , her attitude with me has been much much better...as in return , my patience and attitude have been better as well!
She has been fighting me on a shower saying she is too tired ...every excuse in the book ...but honestly, her peers will start saying something to her pretty soon...so that is a battle im not going to try to fight...
Her 'dad' has also been very helpful this past week in helping me , we have come to an agreement that if she gets grounded at one house that the period time of grounding overlaps to the other parents house ..the grounding will remain in tact at the next home. ( ex :i ground her thursday for a week, but she goes to her dads friday...grounding resumes at his house).
I also went in to see my personal counsellor yesterday , and he talked to me about where i can look online to find parenting classes in my area ...that are geared to parenting ADD/ ODD children.
Oh , as well ...we (me, DD , Dad) have to go to a Parent Information Night on the 24th , to see if we are eligible to get into a group that focuses on teaching better ways to manage anxiety in children.