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Jack Butt!

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 3:51 PM
  • 21 Replies
LI am pissed off at Dh. When Dh decided to run his business full time he agreed that family would come first. We set aside times that he would not work. Monday nights so he could take our oldest son to karate, Thursday nights so he can take our 5 year old to piano lessons and Saturdays. He hasn't been the best at sticking to this schedule. I have found myself getting very last minute notices about upcoming business and having to rearrange my schedule. This not only effects me, but our boys. Our 5 year old has behavioral and emotional issues. When Dh misses a piano lesson because of work our son gets upset. He acts out, refuses to go to piano lessons and basically makes things difficult. I try my best not to let it get to me but it does. Today Dh came home from work at 10am. He said he couldn't work until after the house gets inspected. He said he'd probably be heading back later today. I asked him if he knew what today was. He said yeah it's Thursday. I said it's piano. He said he'd be working late so it's all on me. I asked him why he couldn't just do it tomorrow and he said he had a pool table install at 9am. I asked if he could do it later in the afternoon and he looked at me like I had a third eye growing out of my head. At 2pm he got a phone call and just like that he was gone. He promised me he'd make this work. I made him swear that family would come first and he promised even though it doesn't feel like it. UGH!
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by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 3:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bamababe1975
by Stephanie on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:32 AM

 While it's an honorable thing to pledge family first, when you go into business for yourself it's just not practical, especially if you're the sole employee of your own business. What is your work schedule usually like? Is your boss flexible so that changing things around to take care of getting the kids to and from their appointments is easier for you than for your husbnd?



coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:48 AM
I get your frustration as I have to pick up the slack when DH's schedule doesn't cooperate.

That said, when you own your business, your schedule isn't your own. If you only work when it's convenient for you, you'll go out of business. I think you're asking for too much.
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Kageegirl
by Gold Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Asking him to leave Monday night from 5pm to 7pm open and Thursday night from 4pm to 6:30pm open in my opinion is not asking to much. It's 2 nights a week for his kids. Business is business and family is family if people can't understand that then what are we doing this for?


Quoting coolmommy2x:

I get your frustration as I have to pick up the slack when DH's schedule doesn't cooperate.



That said, when you own your business, your schedule isn't your own. If you only work when it's convenient for you, you'll go out of business. I think you're asking for too much.

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coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Customers are not family. They pay for a job and want it done when they want it done. Maybe DH shouldn't own his own business. They're a lot of work.
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toopicky429
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 1:46 PM
That is something that will always be an issue when someone owns a small business. My husband owns a small construction company. Until recently he was working seven days week, 14 hours a day, and then paperwork and phone calls when he came home. We recently decided it would be best for our family if he only did sub-contract work. It takes up less of his time, gives him more flexibility, and more family time.
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notjstasocermom
by Samantha on Oct. 14, 2012 at 1:57 PM
1 mom liked this

um he's working, why can't you take the kids to their activities?

CJsMommy622
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 2:05 PM
I don't really understand the big deal, he's working hard at his own business to provide for his family. If you're home why can't you take the kids? I work all day and when I come home SO is still at work, so I have to bring the kids to all their activities, make dinner, do hw, get them ready for bed. It sounds like you need to rearrange your schedule a little bit on the days he won't be home in time, breathe, it can be done. Owning your own business comes with alot of unpredictables that you just have to deal with. A paying customer doesn't care that he has to take his kid to piano- they paid for a service. If he doesn't provide, they will go elsewhere and not recommend him to people.
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KMAsMommy9182
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 2:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Please explain why she should reschedule her time, but he shouldn't do the same.  She is not asking for a lot, and since it causes such issues with their son, the dad really should find a way to fulfill his family committments.  OP, I would sit down with your dh and go over what was discussed before he went into this venture.  Covering for him once in a while might be a necessity, but if he promised to take his son to karate, then he needs to keep his word and make time for his child. 

Quoting CJsMommy622:

I don't really understand the big deal, he's working hard at his own business to provide for his family. If you're home why can't you take the kids? I work all day and when I come home SO is still at work, so I have to bring the kids to all their activities, make dinner, do hw, get them ready for bed. It sounds like you need to rearrange your schedule a little bit on the days he won't be home in time, breathe, it can be done. Owning your own business comes with alot of unpredictables that you just have to deal with. A paying customer doesn't care that he has to take his kid to piano- they paid for a service. If he doesn't provide, they will go elsewhere and not recommend him to people.


CJsMommy622
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:16 PM
Because he is working to make his clients happy. If his clients aren't happy, then his business won't do well. It's part of owning a business. If its not working for their family, then maybe owning a business isn't right for them.
I have a son just like this but he understands that sometime daddy has to work a little later to make sure we always have everything we need. They need to sit down as a family and have backup plans for when he can't get home, and let the kids know that sometimes daddy has to work later than planned and mommy is there to cover for him.


Quoting KMAsMommy9182:

Please explain why she should reschedule her time, but he shouldn't do the same.  She is not asking for a lot, and since it causes such issues with their son, the dad really should find a way to fulfill his family committments.  OP, I would sit down with your dh and go over what was discussed before he went into this venture.  Covering for him once in a while might be a necessity, but if he promised to take his son to karate, then he needs to keep his word and make time for his child. 

Quoting CJsMommy622:

I don't really understand the big deal, he's working hard at his own business to provide for his family. If you're home why can't you take the kids? I work all day and when I come home SO is still at work, so I have to bring the kids to all their activities, make dinner, do hw, get them ready for bed. It sounds like you need to rearrange your schedule a little bit on the days he won't be home in time, breathe, it can be done. Owning your own business comes with alot of unpredictables that you just have to deal with. A paying customer doesn't care that he has to take his kid to piano- they paid for a service. If he doesn't provide, they will go elsewhere and not recommend him to people.



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kjoarcik
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:56 PM

I think it's time for a family meeting. And yes, I think the kids need to be involved as well. They are expressing their hurt feelings to you, now it is time for your DH to hear it as well. Afterwards, put the kids to bed or have them go play or something and just the two of you talk.

He's putting 100% into his business. Now he needs to put 100% into his family.

Just because he is the one bringing in the money, doesn't mean he gets to slack off on family time. Especially when it's affecting your children (which I think is getting missed by some others posters here).

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