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*EDIT* - Meeting -- You're going to be an irresponsible parent, and then get mad at me for saying so?

Edit:
So we postponed the vacation because we are friends with the dad for one. For two we were going to leave at 5pm and he asked us to wait for a half hour until he got home, so I said okay but ten when he wasn't home by 6 we left.
Also everyone keeps asking why they aren't in school, it's because it's fall break here. They have today, Friday, and Monday off of school.
Also for those bashing my parenting skills and missing the point, my son has high functioning autism. He isn't a violent kid, usually he annoys people by yelling or whistling. It doesn't big me so I don't make hi stop unless someone asks me to, which has only happened twice in the three years we've lived there. We know all of these neighbors very well. The kids play in the yard outside my kitchen window where today i happened to be doing dishes with the door (thats also in the kitchen) propped open so i could see and hear. all of a sudden i look out the window and my kid is on the ground crying and K is yelling at him. Honestly if me turning my head to put a dish into the dishwasher is so bad, I'd really love to see how PERFECTLY you all watch your kids without ever blinking or going to the bathroom... As for what my son did, I talked to him about tackling and being too rough and it was done and over. I can't believe that so many of you are missing the part where this kid is running amuck and there is nothing I can do because there is no adult around.. But if this is a bash me post then fine..





Sorry it's kinda long but this is the short version..





So this morning my sons friends from next door (G, P, and D) come over and ask if he can play. I say yes but we have to go to the store first. So I'm walking out to my car (which is in a car port - we currently live in a townhouse) and I get SHOWERED with dust and wood from the roof. I walk out and see my next door neighbors (different next door, in the townhouse next to me) 10 year old (K) running around across the car port. I tell him to get down and he does.





So we get back from the store and after some other stuff happened (just kids in an empty house - yeah I forgot to mention that there is no adult home!!) the kids start playing 500 with the football in the shared side yard. Well K comes out and wants to play. Sure.. Well my son has autism and ADHD and gets a little carried away. All the kids around the neighborhood and their parents know to come get me if he starts acting up. So my son tackles K out of nowhere so he punched my kid in the face. I came out and told him that he needed to come get me and he shouldn't punch people. Everything is fine so I go in the house but prop the door open farther so I can hear better. All of a sudden K starts yelling at my son and his friend to get off his property. So I go outside and say, K, this is all of our property. We share this yard. Nobody has to leave but if you're that upset you can go into your house.



So then he does, and starts calling the kids jerks out the window. I went outside and told the kids to play over closer to my house ad they do and K yells, I wish I could call my parents.. Well K's sister is on their porch - she 8 (Gr) and I ask her, you Gus don't have a phone? And she says no. I'm like... Your parents left you at home, alone, with no phone? (All that's going trough my head is, what if K fell off the car port and broke his leg.. And she said yeah.. So under my breath I say wow that was responsible.



I guess K heard me because he grabbed his sister and they jumped on their bikes and rode them to his moms work. 5 mins later, she walks up to me in front of all the kids and said, wanna tell me what happened? So I told her the whole story. So then she's like, we'll K said you called me a bad parent. And I repeated what I actually said, and she got upset. I was like, whoa whoa wait.. Your kid is running around jumping on the carport and punches my kid in the face and you think he is responsible enough to be at home alone and I should mind my own business?!?! Are you insane? I have spent my whole morning practically babysitting your "responsible" kid! If anything you owe me an apology!



She stormed off and said, kids get in the car! And they all left. Now their dad text my husband and wants to have a "meeting" with us. (My husband has no idea what's going on...) so this is going to be a fun night.. Oh and to top it off we are postponing leaving for our vacation to deal with this mess!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:26 PM
Replies (11-20):
BraydensMama163
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:50 PM
5 moms liked this
You don't have to sit around and have a meeting. Tell them to kiss ass and go on your vacation!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
christina0607
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:51 PM
2 moms liked this
Your child is excused from aggressive behavior, just because he has autism. Sorry but life just doesn't work that way and he will have problems going forward if that does change.

Quoting little.worthen:

haha, wow. so her son was justified to punch my kid in the face when everyone KNOWS he is autistic? K wasnt even invited to play. my son was nice enough to let him come and play with him and his friends.

i dont make judgements about her parenting. i said it was irresponsible that she let her kids run around the neighborhood and do whatever they want potentially hurting themselves and others, with no way to contact an adult.

its not like i can (or should have to) come outside and tell her kids what to do, or punish them.. i didnt say what my son did was okay, but that doesnt excuse the fact that he punched my kid in the face.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jaydensmom1726
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:52 PM

did you not read the part where she stated that her son has autism. he didnt understand what he did but the other child knew better and knew  the fact that her son has autsim  and if he does stuff like that to go get the mom.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.


little.worthen
by Tess on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:52 PM

well thank goodness, we are moving into a house soon..

our landlord is a friend of both of ours. the mom doesnt live there, they are divorced. the dad lives there and thats why he wants to talk. this is the first time i ever met her. and her kids are generally good kids, and we are cool with the dad...kinda...

the state doesnt have a law (i checked with the police) they just have to be responsible, and if they are not being responsible then you are supposed to call the police and they come out to check on the kids.

the kids are 10 and 8

Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

holy hell.  Who is the landlord/property manager?  I'm pretty sure they don't want kids ON TOP OF CAR PORTS.

I'd lay it out again as it happened.  I bet her husband hasn't heard the whole story, just her side.  I doubt she's being fair, b/c let's face it, many women struggle with being fair when they are upset.  So lay it out, maybe apologize for saying something her kids could hear when you should have said it to her, but don't back down that her kids need better supervision.  How old are they ?  Does your state have a law on how old they must be before being home alone?

And from here on out, document whatever you can.  If she turns into a nasty neighbor, it could come in handy.


Acknowledge God - An INSPIRATIONAL blog

little.worthen
by Tess on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:53 PM

yeah, we're just trying to be good neighbors..

Quoting BraydensMama163:

You don't have to sit around and have a meeting. Tell them to kiss ass and go on your vacation!!


Acknowledge God - An INSPIRATIONAL blog

christina0607
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:54 PM
7 moms liked this
She should be with him at all times them, its not this other child's job to get her. He's not an adult nor does he need to watch her child.
Both kids were wrong, neither was more wrong than the other.


Quoting jaydensmom1726:

did you not read the part where she stated that her son has autism. he didnt understand what he did but the other child knew better and knew  the fact that her son has autsim  and if he does stuff like that to go get the mom.


Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
little.worthen
by Tess on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:54 PM

i didnt say that was an excuse. he got in trouble. but everyone is aware that its expected for him to do things like that. what am i supposed to do? keep him locked up in the house and never let him play?

none of the other kids have a problem coming and getting me and NOT punching him in the face... 

Quoting christina0607:

Your child is excused from aggressive behavior, just because he has autism. Sorry but life just doesn't work that way and he will have problems going forward if that does change.

Quoting little.worthen:

haha, wow. so her son was justified to punch my kid in the face when everyone KNOWS he is autistic? K wasnt even invited to play. my son was nice enough to let him come and play with him and his friends.

i dont make judgements about her parenting. i said it was irresponsible that she let her kids run around the neighborhood and do whatever they want potentially hurting themselves and others, with no way to contact an adult.

its not like i can (or should have to) come outside and tell her kids what to do, or punish them.. i didnt say what my son did was okay, but that doesnt excuse the fact that he punched my kid in the face.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.



Acknowledge God - An INSPIRATIONAL blog

christina0607
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:56 PM
2 moms liked this
You should make sure you are with him, and not leave it to small children to police him. Because that's when things like this happen.

Quoting little.worthen:

i didnt say that was an excuse. he got in trouble. but everyone is aware that its expected for him to do things like that. what am i supposed to do? keep him locked up in the house and never let him play?

none of the other kids have a problem coming and getting me and NOT punching him in the face... 

Quoting christina0607:

Your child is excused from aggressive behavior, just because he has autism. Sorry but life just doesn't work that way and he will have problems going forward if that does change.



Quoting little.worthen:

haha, wow. so her son was justified to punch my kid in the face when everyone KNOWS he is autistic? K wasnt even invited to play. my son was nice enough to let him come and play with him and his friends.

i dont make judgements about her parenting. i said it was irresponsible that she let her kids run around the neighborhood and do whatever they want potentially hurting themselves and others, with no way to contact an adult.

its not like i can (or should have to) come outside and tell her kids what to do, or punish them.. i didnt say what my son did was okay, but that doesnt excuse the fact that he punched my kid in the face.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cherrywaves21
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:57 PM
So that makes it okay? No. Maybe your son will remember this.


Quoting little.worthen:

haha, wow. so her son was justified to punch my kid in the face when everyone KNOWS he is autistic? K wasnt even invited to play. my son was nice enough to let him come and play with him and his friends.

i dont make judgements about her parenting. i said it was irresponsible that she let her kids run around the neighborhood and do whatever they want potentially hurting themselves and others, with no way to contact an adult.

its not like i can (or should have to) come outside and tell her kids what to do, or punish them.. i didnt say what my son did was okay, but that doesnt excuse the fact that he punched my kid in the face.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:57 PM

Good luck is all I can say.  If you stay calm and reasonably explain what happened, and you've had no problems before, I'm sure things will turn out OK.  He was probably just entirely unaware of how his kids were acting.

Quoting little.worthen:

well thank goodness, we are moving into a house soon..

our landlord is a friend of both of ours. the mom doesnt live there, they are divorced. the dad lives there and thats why he wants to talk. this is the first time i ever met her. and her kids are generally good kids, and we are cool with the dad...kinda...

the state doesnt have a law (i checked with the police) they just have to be responsible, and if they are not being responsible then you are supposed to call the police and they come out to check on the kids.

the kids are 10 and 8

Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

holy hell.  Who is the landlord/property manager?  I'm pretty sure they don't want kids ON TOP OF CAR PORTS.

I'd lay it out again as it happened.  I bet her husband hasn't heard the whole story, just her side.  I doubt she's being fair, b/c let's face it, many women struggle with being fair when they are upset.  So lay it out, maybe apologize for saying something her kids could hear when you should have said it to her, but don't back down that her kids need better supervision.  How old are they ?  Does your state have a law on how old they must be before being home alone?

And from here on out, document whatever you can.  If she turns into a nasty neighbor, it could come in handy.



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