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*EDIT* - Meeting -- You're going to be an irresponsible parent, and then get mad at me for saying so?

Edit:
So we postponed the vacation because we are friends with the dad for one. For two we were going to leave at 5pm and he asked us to wait for a half hour until he got home, so I said okay but ten when he wasn't home by 6 we left.
Also everyone keeps asking why they aren't in school, it's because it's fall break here. They have today, Friday, and Monday off of school.
Also for those bashing my parenting skills and missing the point, my son has high functioning autism. He isn't a violent kid, usually he annoys people by yelling or whistling. It doesn't big me so I don't make hi stop unless someone asks me to, which has only happened twice in the three years we've lived there. We know all of these neighbors very well. The kids play in the yard outside my kitchen window where today i happened to be doing dishes with the door (thats also in the kitchen) propped open so i could see and hear. all of a sudden i look out the window and my kid is on the ground crying and K is yelling at him. Honestly if me turning my head to put a dish into the dishwasher is so bad, I'd really love to see how PERFECTLY you all watch your kids without ever blinking or going to the bathroom... As for what my son did, I talked to him about tackling and being too rough and it was done and over. I can't believe that so many of you are missing the part where this kid is running amuck and there is nothing I can do because there is no adult around.. But if this is a bash me post then fine..





Sorry it's kinda long but this is the short version..





So this morning my sons friends from next door (G, P, and D) come over and ask if he can play. I say yes but we have to go to the store first. So I'm walking out to my car (which is in a car port - we currently live in a townhouse) and I get SHOWERED with dust and wood from the roof. I walk out and see my next door neighbors (different next door, in the townhouse next to me) 10 year old (K) running around across the car port. I tell him to get down and he does.





So we get back from the store and after some other stuff happened (just kids in an empty house - yeah I forgot to mention that there is no adult home!!) the kids start playing 500 with the football in the shared side yard. Well K comes out and wants to play. Sure.. Well my son has autism and ADHD and gets a little carried away. All the kids around the neighborhood and their parents know to come get me if he starts acting up. So my son tackles K out of nowhere so he punched my kid in the face. I came out and told him that he needed to come get me and he shouldn't punch people. Everything is fine so I go in the house but prop the door open farther so I can hear better. All of a sudden K starts yelling at my son and his friend to get off his property. So I go outside and say, K, this is all of our property. We share this yard. Nobody has to leave but if you're that upset you can go into your house.



So then he does, and starts calling the kids jerks out the window. I went outside and told the kids to play over closer to my house ad they do and K yells, I wish I could call my parents.. Well K's sister is on their porch - she 8 (Gr) and I ask her, you Gus don't have a phone? And she says no. I'm like... Your parents left you at home, alone, with no phone? (All that's going trough my head is, what if K fell off the car port and broke his leg.. And she said yeah.. So under my breath I say wow that was responsible.



I guess K heard me because he grabbed his sister and they jumped on their bikes and rode them to his moms work. 5 mins later, she walks up to me in front of all the kids and said, wanna tell me what happened? So I told her the whole story. So then she's like, we'll K said you called me a bad parent. And I repeated what I actually said, and she got upset. I was like, whoa whoa wait.. Your kid is running around jumping on the carport and punches my kid in the face and you think he is responsible enough to be at home alone and I should mind my own business?!?! Are you insane? I have spent my whole morning practically babysitting your "responsible" kid! If anything you owe me an apology!



She stormed off and said, kids get in the car! And they all left. Now their dad text my husband and wants to have a "meeting" with us. (My husband has no idea what's going on...) so this is going to be a fun night.. Oh and to top it off we are postponing leaving for our vacation to deal with this mess!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:26 PM
Replies (291-292):
gypsy_rose
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 1:57 PM

I think you were BOTH out of line. Both of you were irresponsible as well. 

Basherte
by Silver Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 2:03 PM
1 mom liked this

They have a tendancy to also stay like right below his window when they are getting loud. 

Nah, they try really hard to respect his space. They just get excited and forget some times. Just that I can't let him out there without me or his daddy out there too. Even if the land lords allowed it. 

It has to be hard on them as well. Most of their friends are NT just like they are. So to switch back and forth has to be hard. It isn't that that bothers me. It's the constant noise. Late at night and when he's taking a nap. Not that they don't get loud at other times, it's just that most of the time it's when he's trying to get to sleep. Once he's asleep it doesn't matter anymore. He sleeps like I do. I almost slept through two hurricanes. Katrina and Wilma. Woke up for the end of them. Didn't make me happy, as I wanted to watch them. No one around us got hurt, just the property type damage. And everyone pulled together. 

My son gets excited as well, it's just he has a hard time dealing with it when other people get excited and he doesn't understand why. *giggles* That part is on him and us though. We are trying to get him to be more social. And so far, he has started to roll a ball back and forth or a toy car back and forth with his classmates. Where as when he started this preschool, he could barely tolerate them being in the same room as him, let alone to play with them. I'm so proud of him. Hoping to get him out this winter to see if he will tolerate the snow better than last year so we can all make snow men. 

Quoting iansusie:

Oh, ok, I guess that makes a difference. I am sorry that the other kids' parents do not make sure their children respect your son's space. My kids would be in so much trouble if they kept doing it.

Quoting Basherte:

These are the landlords rules. If we don't agree we could always move out and be homeless. I suppose.

I wasn't coming down on the OP.. You all are right. She was irresponsible to leave those two kids home alone with no phone. 

I'm just saying that she shouldn't feel the need to protect those kids any more as their parents have made it clear that they don't want any help to protect their kids, and honestly probably don't care about them if they are leaving them home alone iwth no phone and no supervision.


Really? With a fenced in yard I guess that would be a little different. I don't know I don't have a fenced in yard. I don't even have a nice sized yard. There are sidewalks all through it. And it is shared with the rest of the people renting here as well. With the rest of the kids being NT and my son not it's just so much easier to not let him play right outside, and to take him to the neighborhood park. The NT kids that are right around here are very rough. And they scare my son. Running up to him and stopping within inches of him. Driving their 4 wheel toy right up to him and brushing him when they do so. No matter how many times I've talked to them about it and mentioned it to their mom. Nothing ever changes.

Quoting iansusie:

Really? kids cannot be out in the yard if the parent is not out in the yard too? That is ridiculous, it is not like she was in her room sleeping. She could see from the window and had the door open to hear. I don't rent, so I guess my rules are different. I let my kids (7 and 5) and their friends play in our FENCED yard, with my door open while I cook or do other things. I don't always have a clear view of them either. I don't think how the OP is wrong. I guess maybe she should have kept her comment about the parents being responsible to herself to avoid confrontation but honestly the neighbors were irrisponsible leaving 2 young kids at home with no phone no real supervision. What if that kid would have fallen off the carport and the OP wasn't home and they had no phone to call their parents? 

Quoting Basherte:

That's what I would do. 

It's not your responsibility to even talk to those kids when they are alone. Or try to discipline them. It's mom's job, or dad's job. If they aren't there then call the proper people and leave it be.

I wouldn't worry bout it coming back on you though. But I wouldn't tell any parent that they are horrible parents unless they are abusing their children. But then I'd just call the police or CPS for that as well.


Before you jump down my throat, I know why you did what you did. My initial reaction was that I would think about doing that and then I would just concentrate on my own kids. I also would have been outside with them while they were outside. Because the no parent around thing... well that's what you were doing while you were in the house and the kids were outside. 

I know that here unless they are teen a parent is supposed to be outside or the landlords will call either CPS or the cops on the parents. And possible get in trouble with the landlords themselves for doing that. Yes, it is in the lease for the place. And when you sign the lease you agree with those rules. 

Quoting little.worthen:

well that was kinda a last resort thing and generally this kid is a good kid... when his parents are around, but if their dad starts getting rude and telling me to leave his kids alone (which is basically what the mom was saying) then i'll probably just do that next time and let the police deal with it.

Quoting babygirlsmom314:

I would call the cops on them for leaving g their kids alone all day.







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