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*EDIT* - Meeting -- You're going to be an irresponsible parent, and then get mad at me for saying so?

Edit:
So we postponed the vacation because we are friends with the dad for one. For two we were going to leave at 5pm and he asked us to wait for a half hour until he got home, so I said okay but ten when he wasn't home by 6 we left.
Also everyone keeps asking why they aren't in school, it's because it's fall break here. They have today, Friday, and Monday off of school.
Also for those bashing my parenting skills and missing the point, my son has high functioning autism. He isn't a violent kid, usually he annoys people by yelling or whistling. It doesn't big me so I don't make hi stop unless someone asks me to, which has only happened twice in the three years we've lived there. We know all of these neighbors very well. The kids play in the yard outside my kitchen window where today i happened to be doing dishes with the door (thats also in the kitchen) propped open so i could see and hear. all of a sudden i look out the window and my kid is on the ground crying and K is yelling at him. Honestly if me turning my head to put a dish into the dishwasher is so bad, I'd really love to see how PERFECTLY you all watch your kids without ever blinking or going to the bathroom... As for what my son did, I talked to him about tackling and being too rough and it was done and over. I can't believe that so many of you are missing the part where this kid is running amuck and there is nothing I can do because there is no adult around.. But if this is a bash me post then fine..





Sorry it's kinda long but this is the short version..





So this morning my sons friends from next door (G, P, and D) come over and ask if he can play. I say yes but we have to go to the store first. So I'm walking out to my car (which is in a car port - we currently live in a townhouse) and I get SHOWERED with dust and wood from the roof. I walk out and see my next door neighbors (different next door, in the townhouse next to me) 10 year old (K) running around across the car port. I tell him to get down and he does.





So we get back from the store and after some other stuff happened (just kids in an empty house - yeah I forgot to mention that there is no adult home!!) the kids start playing 500 with the football in the shared side yard. Well K comes out and wants to play. Sure.. Well my son has autism and ADHD and gets a little carried away. All the kids around the neighborhood and their parents know to come get me if he starts acting up. So my son tackles K out of nowhere so he punched my kid in the face. I came out and told him that he needed to come get me and he shouldn't punch people. Everything is fine so I go in the house but prop the door open farther so I can hear better. All of a sudden K starts yelling at my son and his friend to get off his property. So I go outside and say, K, this is all of our property. We share this yard. Nobody has to leave but if you're that upset you can go into your house.



So then he does, and starts calling the kids jerks out the window. I went outside and told the kids to play over closer to my house ad they do and K yells, I wish I could call my parents.. Well K's sister is on their porch - she 8 (Gr) and I ask her, you Gus don't have a phone? And she says no. I'm like... Your parents left you at home, alone, with no phone? (All that's going trough my head is, what if K fell off the car port and broke his leg.. And she said yeah.. So under my breath I say wow that was responsible.



I guess K heard me because he grabbed his sister and they jumped on their bikes and rode them to his moms work. 5 mins later, she walks up to me in front of all the kids and said, wanna tell me what happened? So I told her the whole story. So then she's like, we'll K said you called me a bad parent. And I repeated what I actually said, and she got upset. I was like, whoa whoa wait.. Your kid is running around jumping on the carport and punches my kid in the face and you think he is responsible enough to be at home alone and I should mind my own business?!?! Are you insane? I have spent my whole morning practically babysitting your "responsible" kid! If anything you owe me an apology!



She stormed off and said, kids get in the car! And they all left. Now their dad text my husband and wants to have a "meeting" with us. (My husband has no idea what's going on...) so this is going to be a fun night.. Oh and to top it off we are postponing leaving for our vacation to deal with this mess!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:26 PM
Replies (51-60):
mjande4
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:15 PM

No, it most definitely is NOT!  Most states have NO minimum age.  It's up to the parents.  Check your facts.

Quoting BlessedMommyNE:

At 10 and 8 it would be illegal for them to stay home by themselves. Like you said, what if something happened to one Of them and they don't even have a phone. I don't care if they are the best behaved kids, it's not okay for them to be home every day by themselves. Call CPS.


dlnimo
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Well I'm sure she would have if they home........


Quoting PestPatti:


 I think you overstepped the minute you talked "under your breath" about his parents.   If you don't like how they parent tell THEM. Not their child.  


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
christina0607
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:17 PM
Where do you live that this is true?

Quoting BlessedMommyNE:

At 10 and 8 it would be illegal for them to stay home by themselves. Like you said, what if something happened to one Of them and they don't even have a phone. I don't care if they are the best behaved kids, it's not okay for them to be home every day by themselves. Call CPS.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cherrywaves21
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:17 PM
2 moms liked this
Nope just able to read and comprehend. It's flight or flight instinct you tackle someone out of nowhere be prepared to get hit.

I am not saying OP shouldn't be upset about the other stuff. The point is if her child cant handle himself then she needs to be outside with him.

Quoting dlnimo:

Oh you are so witty! You're attacking OP because her son tackled (out of no where or not) but her son was PUNCHED IN THE FACE. Add this to the OTHER things this neighbor did and I think OP had every right to say under her breath what she did. But that is just my opinion.....



Quoting cherrywaves21:

Read the op again. She said that HER SON TACKLED HIM OUT OF NOWHERE reading conprehesion is your friend ladies.





Quoting dlnimo:

Exactly! Besides the fact that her son was playing football with his friends and the neighbor asked to play with them. When he didn't like being reprimanded by OP for punching in the face he started telling out the window!







Quoting silverdawn99:

i guess in football you arent supposed to tackle???

of course they tackle

sheesh

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.










Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Your son tackled him and he reacted just like any normal person would have done, regardless of who they are. They are young children. Both children were wrong for what they did. If you are aware that your son has outbursts than you should make sure that you are with him or within eye shot to where you could prevent something in the future.
The other children's parents really shouldn't be allowing them to stay home alone at all. They are to young. I wouldn't delay my trip to speak to the father though.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
little.worthen
by Tess on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:17 PM

i never said anything to the kids. they just over heard me. that doesnt make it okay, but i wasnt like, "your parents are irresponsible."

either way, if its my fault that someones UNsupervised child punched my kid in the face then sure.. even though my son was already spoken to and i never made a huge deal out of the punching thing to him. never labeled it as an excuse and even said, it wasnt okay... but if that makes his mom more responsible to you because she wasnt even there at ALL and i had no way of getting him to leave the other kids alone because we share property.. then sure.

whatever gets you to leave the post.

Quoting christina0607:

Then you need to supervise you child every single time he is playing in a group. Except responsibility and the fact that you dropped the ball here.

Its not ks job to have to handle it...its yours.

You speaking about someones parenting to their child is reprehensible, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you have an adult problem you need to take it up with other adults.


Quoting little.worthen:

do you know anything about autistic kids?

its not bad behavior... its an automatic, uncontrollable action. by the time he did it he was already sorry. he just all of a sudden moved.
he does stuff like starts yelling really loud or whistling in peoples ears, or things like that, its all notrmal to me at this point. His friend G can handle it, and apparently K cant. thats why i tell them and their parents if he starts getting to be too much or starts annoying you, then let me know and i will tell him to settle down.

its not like he goes around hitting people. this is the first i've even ever heard of him tackling. the action is different all the time. again, not making it okay, but its not like he is a harm to people, just usually annoying.

and lets say he isnt autistic.. and he tackled K. he still gets in trouble when i hear about it.. is that supposed to make K punching him in the face any better? is that supposed to make his mother more responsible for leaving him at home?

no.... and if you think for any reason it does.. or that i shouldnt be worried about her parenting skills when it affects my kid, then you have your priorities mixed up, and i hope nothing bad ever happens to your kids when its something out of your control...

have a good one sweetheart.

Quoting christina0607:

And here you are justifying your child's bad behavior.... how can you not see that?



Quoting little.worthen:

they were right outside the window. i was doing dishes. i could see all of them, but i must have been bent over putting a dish in the dishwasher..... my bad....

guess i'm just glad i dont have you for some loony neighbor who justifiys their kids bad behavior when they have no adult supervision to be an autistic 7 year olds fault....

Quoting christina0607:

You should make sure you are with him, and not leave it to small children to police him. Because that's when things like this happen.





Quoting little.worthen:

i didnt say that was an excuse. he got in trouble. but everyone is aware that its expected for him to do things like that. what am i supposed to do? keep him locked up in the house and never let him play?

none of the other kids have a problem coming and getting me and NOT punching him in the face... 

Quoting christina0607:

Your child is excused from aggressive behavior, just because he has autism. Sorry but life just doesn't work that way and he will have problems going forward if that does change.







Quoting little.worthen:

haha, wow. so her son was justified to punch my kid in the face when everyone KNOWS he is autistic? K wasnt even invited to play. my son was nice enough to let him come and play with him and his friends.

i dont make judgements about her parenting. i said it was irresponsible that she let her kids run around the neighborhood and do whatever they want potentially hurting themselves and others, with no way to contact an adult.

its not like i can (or should have to) come outside and tell her kids what to do, or punish them.. i didnt say what my son did was okay, but that doesnt excuse the fact that he punched my kid in the face.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.






Acknowledge God - An INSPIRATIONAL blog

mommie_x0x
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:18 PM
1 mom liked this
My sister in law brother has autism... He's like 22... He had been having sex with a 13 year old girl for like a year... He would drive how ever many hours to go to her house and have sex with her... ... He's now in prison for a long long time... But he has autism so does that make it ok? Nah... He's a sexual predator !

Quoting christina0607:

And here you are justifying your child's bad behavior.... how can you not see that?



Quoting little.worthen:

they were right outside the window. i was doing dishes. i could see all of them, but i must have been bent over putting a dish in the dishwasher..... my bad....

guess i'm just glad i dont have you for some loony neighbor who justifiys their kids bad behavior when they have no adult supervision to be an autistic 7 year olds fault....

Quoting christina0607:

You should make sure you are with him, and not leave it to small children to police him. Because that's when things like this happen.





Quoting little.worthen:

i didnt say that was an excuse. he got in trouble. but everyone is aware that its expected for him to do things like that. what am i supposed to do? keep him locked up in the house and never let him play?

none of the other kids have a problem coming and getting me and NOT punching him in the face... 

Quoting christina0607:

Your child is excused from aggressive behavior, just because he has autism. Sorry but life just doesn't work that way and he will have problems going forward if that does change.







Quoting little.worthen:

haha, wow. so her son was justified to punch my kid in the face when everyone KNOWS he is autistic? K wasnt even invited to play. my son was nice enough to let him come and play with him and his friends.

i dont make judgements about her parenting. i said it was irresponsible that she let her kids run around the neighborhood and do whatever they want potentially hurting themselves and others, with no way to contact an adult.

its not like i can (or should have to) come outside and tell her kids what to do, or punish them.. i didnt say what my son did was okay, but that doesnt excuse the fact that he punched my kid in the face.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.




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outtamymynd
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:18 PM
Me too

Quoting cherrywaves21:

I agree with you Christina.




Quoting christina0607:

You should make sure you are with him, and not leave it to small children to police him. Because that's when things like this happen.





Quoting little.worthen:

i didnt say that was an excuse. he got in trouble. but everyone is aware that its expected for him to do things like that. what am i supposed to do? keep him locked up in the house and never let him play?

none of the other kids have a problem coming and getting me and NOT punching him in the face... 

Quoting christina0607:

Your child is excused from aggressive behavior, just because he has autism. Sorry but life just doesn't work that way and he will have problems going forward if that does change.







Quoting little.worthen:

haha, wow. so her son was justified to punch my kid in the face when everyone KNOWS he is autistic? K wasnt even invited to play. my son was nice enough to let him come and play with him and his friends.

i dont make judgements about her parenting. i said it was irresponsible that she let her kids run around the neighborhood and do whatever they want potentially hurting themselves and others, with no way to contact an adult.

its not like i can (or should have to) come outside and tell her kids what to do, or punish them.. i didnt say what my son did was okay, but that doesnt excuse the fact that he punched my kid in the face.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PestPatti
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I doubt it.  

Quoting dlnimo:

Well I'm sure she would have if they home........


Quoting PestPatti:


 I think you overstepped the minute you talked "under your breath" about his parents.   If you don't like how they parent tell THEM. Not their child.  



christina0607
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this
They just overheard you? You are just full of excuses, you are unbelievable.

Quoting little.worthen:

i never said anything to the kids. they just over heard me. that doesnt make it okay, but i wasnt like, "your parents are irresponsible."

either way, if its my fault that someones UNsupervised child punched my kid in the face then sure.. even though my son was already spoken to and i never made a huge deal out of the punching thing to him. never labeled it as an excuse and even said, it wasnt okay... but if that makes his mom more responsible to you because she wasnt even there at ALL and i had no way of getting him to leave the other kids alone because we share property.. then sure.

whatever gets you to leave the post.

Quoting christina0607:

Then you need to supervise you child every single time he is playing in a group. Except responsibility and the fact that you dropped the ball here.



Its not ks job to have to handle it...its yours.



You speaking about someones parenting to their child is reprehensible, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you have an adult problem you need to take it up with other adults.




Quoting little.worthen:

do you know anything about autistic kids?

its not bad behavior... its an automatic, uncontrollable action. by the time he did it he was already sorry. he just all of a sudden moved.
he does stuff like starts yelling really loud or whistling in peoples ears, or things like that, its all notrmal to me at this point. His friend G can handle it, and apparently K cant. thats why i tell them and their parents if he starts getting to be too much or starts annoying you, then let me know and i will tell him to settle down.

its not like he goes around hitting people. this is the first i've even ever heard of him tackling. the action is different all the time. again, not making it okay, but its not like he is a harm to people, just usually annoying.

and lets say he isnt autistic.. and he tackled K. he still gets in trouble when i hear about it.. is that supposed to make K punching him in the face any better? is that supposed to make his mother more responsible for leaving him at home?

no.... and if you think for any reason it does.. or that i shouldnt be worried about her parenting skills when it affects my kid, then you have your priorities mixed up, and i hope nothing bad ever happens to your kids when its something out of your control...

have a good one sweetheart.

Quoting christina0607:

And here you are justifying your child's bad behavior.... how can you not see that?





Quoting little.worthen:

they were right outside the window. i was doing dishes. i could see all of them, but i must have been bent over putting a dish in the dishwasher..... my bad....

guess i'm just glad i dont have you for some loony neighbor who justifiys their kids bad behavior when they have no adult supervision to be an autistic 7 year olds fault....

Quoting christina0607:

You should make sure you are with him, and not leave it to small children to police him. Because that's when things like this happen.







Quoting little.worthen:

i didnt say that was an excuse. he got in trouble. but everyone is aware that its expected for him to do things like that. what am i supposed to do? keep him locked up in the house and never let him play?

none of the other kids have a problem coming and getting me and NOT punching him in the face... 

Quoting christina0607:

Your child is excused from aggressive behavior, just because he has autism. Sorry but life just doesn't work that way and he will have problems going forward if that does change.









Quoting little.worthen:

haha, wow. so her son was justified to punch my kid in the face when everyone KNOWS he is autistic? K wasnt even invited to play. my son was nice enough to let him come and play with him and his friends.

i dont make judgements about her parenting. i said it was irresponsible that she let her kids run around the neighborhood and do whatever they want potentially hurting themselves and others, with no way to contact an adult.

its not like i can (or should have to) come outside and tell her kids what to do, or punish them.. i didnt say what my son did was okay, but that doesnt excuse the fact that he punched my kid in the face.

Quoting christina0607:

Its not your job to make judgements about her parenting, it was wrong and rude. Your son tackled hers and hers reacted, you made things worse by getting involved.






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