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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Most people know where they stand on the issue of abortion, but just spend a day looking around CM. Watch as mothers are attacked over and over again for their choices. Today it seems to be the great SAHM Vs. working mom debate, but there are others as well.

So, do you believe in a woman's right to choose whether or not she will work/stay home? What about her right to choose whether or not she will circumcise her son? What if she doesn't want to vaccinate her children? What if she does want to? What if a mother decides to forward face her 1 year old or bottle feed her baby? Do you still believe in her choice? Why can't we support each other? Why is it that many women seem to believe that there is only ONE way to parent? Every baby is different. Every family is different. So why do we act as though every parenting style must be the same? 

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:16 PM
Replies (31-40):
TheMrs407
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:09 PM
For the most part. I have a hard time budging on any radical choice, but I am fairly pro choice.
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heatherd09
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:10 PM
This!

Quoting BraydensMama163:

as long as that baby isn't being put in danger than I don't care. Its not my kid and not my place.
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KMAsMommy9182
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting imnotbarbie03:


Quoting KMAsMommy9182:

Everyone has the right to make decisions for themselves and their families that is in their best interest, but if you put it out there in the world for everyone to see, then I have every right to comment as I see fit.  I try very hard to not be hateful or rude, but if you post about your horrible day/life and it is clearly linked to your lack of maturity or parenting skills, then don't expect me to send you a hug and a high five.

LOL - you're totally right. But sometimes I choose to just leave those posts alone unless I feel like the person is open to hearing me. 

Like if someone's got a super-agressive kid and they're like "I don't know what's wrong with him! Do I need to spank him harder?!" - I'm probably not going to go there on that one because imo spanking = agression and its a learned behavior. But I've kinda learned not to jump in their thread and tell them that because its not what they wanna hear.

I try not to respond either, but sometimes I just can't help myself.  I also try to keep an open-mind (ie your post about unschool) and be respectful, even if I do not agree with the choices being made.  If I do decide that I disagree with a post or comment, then I try to state my reasoning without being hurtful. 

angeleyes16
by Danielle on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I am extremely laid back. I am happy with my life and how I raise my children. I take advice, and I dis-reguard some advice. I also give advice or my opinion only if someone asks for it. I don't believe there is ONE right parenting style. I really don't care how others raise their kids. 

I really can't stand some of the closed-minded moms on here. I just ignore them. 

sucker4myloves
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:25 PM

I'm not sure why so many women are so intent on turning on one another either. Maybe it's just some stupid online thing, but it's a way for a lot of women to connect to fellow women and especially  mothers when they might not have another way to do so. I know when I first got in on this site, it was out of sheer desperation: I'd moved for my husband, left all my friends and family, became overwhelmed and lonely and desperately sought some sort of contact with others in my walk of life. I was very disappointed to see how some women on here so mercilessly shredded the weak--if you know you can hurt somebody, knock it the fuck off. Just because it's online doesn't make what you're doing okay. You're still an asshole for being that way to another human being. Their ridiculousness has never hurt me, but there are plenty it does hurt, and it sure did make me less inclined to open up to anybody on here on a personal level.

MAINSTREAM MOMS Wanna escape the crunch? Join us!

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atyou
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:27 PM
2 moms liked this
Live and let live, babe.


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Shortiekt
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:29 PM
I'm pro-youliveyourlifeandiwilllivemineaslongasnobornpersonishurt
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grey7399
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 1:10 AM

I don't get the SAHM vs. Working Mom thing.


I DON'T agree with moms who stay home and live on welfare.

I DON'T agree with moms who have kids and then never do jackshit with their kids.  You can work 80hrs a week but your kids need you - thats what I mean.  Some dads are like that too and I don't agree with them.


And yes,  I really am pro-choice.  In everything except moms on welfare having more babies.

Ashgambit
by Gold Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 1:15 AM
It's because people get this mindset of "breast feeding is best so if you're choosing not to do so you're choosing second best for your child" etc...and just apply that mindset to rear facing, vaccinating, circumcisions, etc. Women get it in their heads that one decision is so much better than the other that only a terrible mother would choose the second option.
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nicole6870
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 1:21 AM
I have a question. Though I mostly agree I have seen too much to know every situation is not all black and white. So my question is: What if mom still has young kids at home, only 1 car between the 2, health problems and or just simply that working wouldn't pay enough for daycare cost? Oh and they get preggo on bc so they were trying to prevent it. What then? Are they still a bad mom/person if they get PA?


Quoting grey7399:

I don't get the SAHM vs. Working Mom thing.


I DON'T agree with moms who stay home and live on welfare.

I DON'T agree with moms who have kids and then never do jackshit with their kids.  You can work 80hrs a week but your kids need you - thats what I mean.  Some dads are like that too and I don't agree with them.


And yes,  I really am pro-choice.  In everything except moms on welfare having more babies.


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