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vaginal births.

I'm 30 and have 2 sons. One is 7 years old and the other is 3 months old.

Both of them were emergency c-sections.

I was watching The Baby Story on TLC this morning and there was this women who gave birth vaginally.

I was watching her and I thought to myself, I'll never be able to experience that.

I doubt I'll have any more children. If I do, chances are I'll end up having another emergency c-section. So I feel like that experience has been robbed of me.

The ones who have had the experience, I look at it as a privilege.

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Replies (21-30):
sucker4myloves
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Since I've only had a vaginal birth maybe I don't understand, but I don't see anything so amazing about pushing a kid out the usual way. I don't understand why so many people put a stigma on c-sections like you didn't do what you're supposed to. So many people tout natural birth as the end all be all of parenting, as though somehow if you c-sec you didn't really give birth. Well listen, you did, same as anyone else. Wanna hear a secret about natural birth? Before the fabulous medical world we have today, IT KILLED LOTS OF WOMEN AND KIDS. LOTS. So be happy you had a way to get you and your baby through this safely. Stop giving in to the stigma. Trust me, vaginal delivery is not some hallowed experience. It sucks. My vagina looked like ground zero for weeks from the horrible tearing, and my kid was only 5 pounds. If he'd been a 7 or 8 pounder I would have had to have a c-section.

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ashleigh24
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Same here!! I'm good with my c section baby :) I don't feel like I missed out on anything at all.

Quoting inspain:

I had a c-section with DD1 and I'll have another with DD2.  I don't feel like I've missed out on anything.  All I want is a healthy child and, as long as that's the result, I'd call the birth a success.  

If it's that important to you and you plan on more kids, I hope you can get a VBAC and fulfill that wish.  

As for me, I'm good with never knowing what it's like.  ;-)

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Mommyof2n0308
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:54 AM
3 moms liked this
ive had 2 scheduled csecs to. i understand how you feel. its two total diff experiences. usually with a csec youre made to wait until recovery or later to hold ur baby.
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mcsmom1
by Gold Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:55 AM
2 moms liked this

There is a plus for you...you have less chance of being incontinent when you get older than those of us who had a vaginal birth!

(Disclaimer for those that like to argue: I'm no dr. That is just what I have always heard. Could be wrong.)

DakotaHaley
by Crystal on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I could see that. I think I would feel the same way. I had my son vaginally and my daughter emergency c-section.

jillianmayasmom
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:56 AM
1 mom liked this
1000% this.


Quoting christina0607:

I honestly don't understand this. The result is the same. Not all people are the same and not all births are the same. I don't really understand comparing yourself to others.


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aimesnyc
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:58 AM
1 mom liked this

A big difference (for me, anyway) is that those who delivered vaginally (unless some issue arises) get to hold their baby immediately afterward and try to nurse them.  I had my son via emergency c-section at 2:52 am and didn't get to hold him until 10am.

Quoting christina0607:

I honestly don't understand this. The result is the same. Not all people are the same and not all births are the same. I don't really understand comparing yourself to others.


christina0607
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:58 AM
1 mom liked this

Nope this is true, after a vaginal birth you are more likely to have incontinence or gas that can last for months or years.

Quoting mcsmom1:

There is a plus for you...you have less chance of being incontinent when you get older than those of us who had a vaginal birth!

(Disclaimer for those that like to argue: I'm no dr. That is just what I have always heard. Could be wrong.)


Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

AmberKS
by Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:07 AM
5 moms liked this
I totally understand how you could feel this way. Birth trauma is very real and don't let yourself feel bad for your feelings. I was a doula and worked with many women like you.

For some women, having a c-section feels like a failure. A lot of the women thought "women since the beginning if time have had vaginal births, my body should be able to do this. It's one of the most primal functions of our bodies." So when your body doesn't coopporate and do one of the basic functions it was created to do, I have failed. There is something wrong with me.

Some feel betrayed by their bodies thinking this is what my body was created to do, and it couldn't do it. Something is wrong with me.

Others feel traumatized by the c-section experience itself. Being strapped to the boards, being completely helpless, being cut open, having everything done TO them can be very scary and disempowering.

Is the most important outcome a healthy baby? ABSOLUTELY!!!!! But to say that the birth doesn't matter is short sighted. It may not have mattered to you and that's awesome!! But it matters to some people and to tell them "get over it, you have a healthy baby" or that it shouldn't matter is t helping. These feelings may seem silly to you, but they aren't silly to every woman. Why can't we just support each other and not make each other feel bad for our feelings? Our feelings are our feelings and we can't control them. We can control what we do with those feelings, but not how we feel.

OP, be gentle with yourself. It's OK to have these feelings! It's ok to work through them. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be mad. It's ok to feel you missed out. The important thing is to not stay in those feelings. Of working to a place where you can come to terms with and be ok with the fact you had 2 c-sections.
christel22406
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Exactly! 2 completely different births. I understand. With my emergency c-section I was in the hospital for 9 days because of complications and with my second I was in for 3 days. And during the class that they make you go thrum before they discharge you I was so drugged up because of the c-section that I couldn't keep myself awake while they were speaking. It was horrible! Thank goodness I already knew everything she was saying to prepare us for what to do after we left the hospital. And relying on my hubby to do everything for me with the baby for 8 of the 9 days I was there because I couldn't truer myself to hold him because I was so weak. I went thrum ppd because of it.

Quoting vinalex0581:

i totally agree with you.

i was in the hospital for 4 days to recover.

but since i had a c-section, i'm still recovering. my doctor told me that it will take a year for my body to heal completely.

a friend of mine had a vaginal birth and she was only in the hospital less then 24hours before she was released and she's completely recovered.

boy! i wish i could experience that too!

but your right and i love how you explained it. someone helped me deliever both of my sons. i never had that satisfaction of being able to do it on my own.

love it!! you are awesome!!

Quoting christel22406:

No the result isn't the same. To have someone deliver a baby for you compared to the satisfaction of knowing you did it yourself. Completely different. Yes you still end up with the baby either way but recovery is different as well as many other things.



Quoting christina0607:

I honestly don't understand this. The result is the same. Not all people are the same and not all births are the same. I don't really understand comparing yourself to others.


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