Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

How to be a great, fair mom.

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:20 AM
  • 5 Replies

I need to know.

We have a 3 (in a month) and 2 (in two months) year old and they are both into they're "terrible two's"
It's really getting to be too much. She has a daughter, the 3 year old, and I have a daughter, the 2 year old. Mine is just hitting her terrible two's. She's not bad yet, except in public. If I get onto her for something or try to get her to behave, she cries and screams as loud as she can. I don't know what to do.
And her child. OMG. She screams at everything, throws fits, hits, pinches, everything she can think of to get a reaction. At home, I use to time outs on her because that's the only thing she's scared of and will behave when threatened with. But in public, the screaming is ridiculous. I hate taking her anywhere.
I need advice, badly. I won't whip a child that isn't mine and I rarely even spat mine, because most times it's just not necessary. I'm not against or think anyone's wrong for it. MIne just isn't that bad. She's a good kid and listens very well, except sometimes she shows her age.



We've begun to raise daughters more like sons, but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.


~Gloria Steinem

by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:20 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:29 AM

Time outs whether it be at home or in public.   One warning and to a quiet space they go for their time out.  A time out is only 3 minutes maximum for these girls.  One minute per year of age.  Is the other mom on board with setting rules for both girls that are the same since they are practically same age?

ModernMoonlight
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:34 AM

How would you do a time out in public?
And they're almost a year apart, so they're at different stages and still don't really like each other. They love each other about half as much as they cant stand each other.
She's on board, she's all but given up on the one because she doesn't have the will for it. Neither girl really listens to her much because she gets too overwhelmed and backs down.  Plus, until recently her mom's been taking care of the little girl mostly. I'm not suprised at all that her kid doesn't see her as a parent.


NHGal
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:39 AM

 You just do it.  I have timeouts in public.  As disguisting as I find the floors in most places, I had my DD sit on the floor until she calmed down.  I don't care what other parents think if I am doing timeouts in public. 

Be consistent with the approach.  This way they know what to expect.

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:42 AM


Quoting ModernMoonlight:

How would you do a time out in public?
And they're almost a year apart, so they're at different stages and still don't really like each other. They love each other about half as much as they cant stand each other.
She's on board, she's all but given up on the one because she doesn't have the will for it. Neither girl really listens to her much because she gets too overwhelmed and backs down.  Plus, until recently her mom's been taking care of the little girl mostly. I'm not suprised at all that her kid doesn't see her as a parent.


For in public you have two choices.... You find a quiet area within the store (it can even be the restroom) or you can go to car and sit there for the alloted time.   They both need to learn that listening to the adult in charge is very important to safety at this age.   My guy tends to back down more than i do since it is easier for his bipolar to give in.  I have had to take her out of stores and restaurants when she wanted to throw a massive tantrum.  Tantrums = no fun outside of house so while everyone else enjoys ice cream, she would have to sit in car and calm down.  She is 6 now and taking priveleges away works better but she puts herself in time out to calm down.  That is the signal for everyone to leave her alone .   I will even enforce house rules for any child that comes to our house since most rules are safety oriented.

ModernMoonlight
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:46 AM

I wish I knew what to say to give her more confidence in herself when parenting. It makes me so nervous to leave my kid with her and her little girl because I know that hers will either 1) pick on mine and be favored by their family or 2) when in public run away or have a fit and distract her mom where my kid could get hurt or run away.

Her daughter is great with me when we're at home. At the store though, she's horrible. And it's hard to tend to the both of them so I try to avoid having them by myself.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)