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Wrote this for my mom...

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:41 AM
  • 11 Replies

Dear Mom,

I am letting go of my anger and my bitterness. I no longer care if you don't approve of my Paganism, my bisexuality, or who I am as a whole. I know I am a good person, even after everything you have done to me. If you can not put your religion aside and accept me for who and what I am, then it is no longer my problem.

I'm not writing this to beg your forgiveness. I don't need it. I'm not writing this to tell you that I can change, and that I'll try to be a better daughter. I'm writing this to tell you that I am no longer going to change who I am to make you happy. Doing so is one of the major reasons why I became a very bitter and ugly person. All my life, I went out of my way and drove myself to the brink trying to be something I'm not, just so I could see some glimmer of approval from you. When I never saw that approval, it only drove me further into the pit that I have tried so hard to crawl out of my entire life. 

I am writing this to tell you that I forgive you for every cold shoulder. I forgive you for every hurtful word. I forgive you for always placing your religion before your own children. I forgive you so I can let go of my pain, move on with my life, and finally just be the real me. 

Sincerely, 

Your daughter.

by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NovemberStorms
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 5:25 AM
I'm glad you are able to do this. Have you or to you plan on sending it?
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lovelove211
by Silver Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 5:27 AM
Your a brave and strong person for being about to do this
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NovemberStorms
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 5:33 AM
I'm glad you are able to do this. Have you or to you plan on sending it?
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143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 5:52 AM

 Wonderful letter. You're very brave to write it.

Ashley_Carlson
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:13 AM

Not sure if I'll actually send it to her. At least not yet.

Quoting NovemberStorms:

I'm glad you are able to do this. Have you or to you plan on sending it?


AleaKat
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:16 AM
Bravo!!! Applause!!!!
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lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:27 AM

 I'm sorry your mom feels so strongly about her religion that she doesn't accept you. Hugs momma. That is a well written letter.

Bright.Eyes
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:49 AM

This letter reads like you're trying to make her feel guilty, which would only cause her to get defensive. Not a good idea, to send this, mama.

I turned to Christ and repented my old life. I am in love with Christ. I follow Him and I live out my days for Him. I am saved, loved, healed, regenerated, transformed, sanctified, restored, renewed, changed, holy, and blameless. I am a new creation. I am His.

Bright.Eyes
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 8:40 AM

What should have been said - I understand that you don't approve of my Paganism, bisexuality, or who I am as a whole. I am not going to ask you to.

"I know I am a good person, even after everything you have done to me." Are you saying she's a bad person?

Sorry, but no one who loves their God or god with every fiber of their being will put their God or god "aside" for anyone.

She may have 'provoked' the ugliness and bitterness that came from you, but you are the one who chose to 'go there'. And you do need to take full responsibility for that.

And there you go 'calling' her a bad person again. What did you do?


Quoting Ashley_Carlson:

Dear Mom,

I am letting go of my anger and my bitterness. I no longer care if you don't approve of my Paganism, my bisexuality, or who I am as a whole. I know I am a good person, even after everything you have done to me. If you can not put your religion aside and accept me for who and what I am, then it is no longer my problem.

I'm not writing this to beg your forgiveness. I don't need it. I'm not writing this to tell you that I can change, and that I'll try to be a better daughter. I'm writing this to tell you that I am no longer going to change who I am to make you happy. Doing so is one of the major reasons why I became a very bitter and ugly person. All my life, I went out of my way and drove myself to the brink trying to be something I'm not, just so I could see some glimmer of approval from you. When I never saw that approval, it only drove me further into the pit that I have tried so hard to crawl out of my entire life. 

I am writing this to tell you that I forgive you for every cold shoulder. I forgive you for every hurtful word. I forgive you for always placing your religion before your own children. I forgive you so I can let go of my pain, move on with my life, and finally just be the real me. 

Sincerely, 

Your daughter.


I turned to Christ and repented my old life. I am in love with Christ. I follow Him and I live out my days for Him. I am saved, loved, healed, regenerated, transformed, sanctified, restored, renewed, changed, holy, and blameless. I am a new creation. I am His.

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 8:48 AM
If you wrote this just to get your feelings out to help you move on, it's fine. If you're actually going to send it, I agree with Bright Eyes that it could be worded better so as not to put her on the defensive and open a whole other can of worms.

Also, don't you live with her? If so I wouldn't send until you move out or change the tone. While it's healthy to get it off your chest, you're not in the best position to burn any bridges yet.
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