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My dd is so mad.. She lives with her bf and his parents. She thinks this is so wrong and she wanted me to post and get you guys' opinions on this:

Both of his parents don't work. They have their home registered as a church so they pay no taxes even though they do no church type activities at all there. His mom gets child support for the bf and his little brother. The step father gets disability.

Her bf gets 1,000/month to go to college from the veterens benifits because the step dad is disabled.  When he got his check this month (it's the first check, school just started) His parents insisted that her bf give them half of it. Then bf got a student loan of 680.00 that he will end up having to pay back. It came on a debit-type card. Yesterday, his parents decided they wanted to go on a date day. His mom went in his room and demanded his card. Then she wanted the code. Bf told her that it was his money for school. She told him that she would leave him some.

They were gone all day long! When they got home last night, bf asked for his card back and my dd said that he had to beg for it! When he got it back his mom told him that she had left him 300 on it. They had spent over half of it.

Her bf just went and got his driver's license and his parents promised him a pick up that they had bought for him. He passed but they won't let him drive it. They still have to get up 3 hours early so they can catch the bus into town. They go to school M,W, and Fridays. His step dad insists all of a sudden that he wants to go fishing every morning and needs the truck. Does any of this sound right to you?

On top of all of this, my dd is resopnsible for cleaning the house and they are in charge of the cooking dinner 5 days out of the week. DD told me that they never leave their bedroom. DD and her bf are not allowed to close the bedroom door at any time and she found out that the other morning, the step dad got up early and was walking around nude while she slept with the bedroom door open right across the hall. These people really disturb me. What are your thoughts? Am I over reacting?

by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 10:11 AM
Replies (41-50):
Erna2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:19 AM

That's what I just now told her...

Quoting boshs1andonly:

The whole situation sounds pretty crappy, but there's not much you can do. She's grown and despite how bad the situation is, apparently it's not bad enough for her to leave. The choice is hers to either make him man up and make things better for the two of them, or decide she's too good for that and bail. I agree that they won't get ahead with his parents using him like that, but if he refuses to stand up for them, then it's not going to get any better. 


boshs1andonly
by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:21 AM

Well hopefully it works out for her. I moved in with dh's family right before we got married and my mom thought it was a horrible idea. And his mom was exactly what I thought she was, so it did suck for a while. The difference is dh worked a full time job and a year later we moved out on our own place. So I kind of know where she's coming from. At the same time, like you already told her, the next move is really hers. Good luck, hopefully she comes around. Just let her know that your door is always open but she still has to pay the consequences for her decisions, since she's the one that made them. 

Quoting Erna2:

That's what I just now told her...

Quoting boshs1andonly:

The whole situation sounds pretty crappy, but there's not much you can do. She's grown and despite how bad the situation is, apparently it's not bad enough for her to leave. The choice is hers to either make him man up and make things better for the two of them, or decide she's too good for that and bail. I agree that they won't get ahead with his parents using him like that, but if he refuses to stand up for them, then it's not going to get any better. 



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GagaNTattooS
by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:29 AM
First off I don't blame the boy for stealing and dealing drugs its probably the only way he got anything....i would yell me husband to suck it and bring my kid home
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blazenangel5
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:29 AM
Well until he does something about it then he's to deal with it. If he's as bad as you say he is then they are a one in the same. I'd your daughter doesn't like it then maybe she will get some sense and get out.
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Kaelaasmom
by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:31 AM

You sort of lost me at daughter living with boyfriend and his parents.

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evelynolivesmom
by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:32 AM

 There is so much wrong with this, but I agree with some pp, she's an adult and she chose this. As long as she knows she can always come home there's probably not much more you can do.

My "bad boy" phase ended when I was ditched 1500mi. from home. She'll probably hit her breaking point soon (hopefully).

Erna2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:33 AM

No. I don't want him here either. I have other kids to think about and it is not worth it. Our door is always open to her. She knows this. Not him though. She made her choice, but my other kids and dh will NOT suffer for her choices.

Quoting GagaNTattooS:

First off I don't blame the boy for stealing and dealing drugs its probably the only way he got anything....i would yell me husband to suck it and bring my kid home


DayDreamer1201
by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:33 AM

THEY NEED TO MOVE ASAP!

Erna2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:33 AM

She is 20

Quoting Kaelaasmom:

You sort of lost me at daughter living with boyfriend and his parents.


D.O.E.
by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 11:36 AM
i think renting a room in a rooming house would be a better idea if they cannot live with you! even a studio or bachelor apartment would be better!!! wow,yeah i would leave if i was them, and then i would call the state and report the parents for fraud, as there is no church there. ridiculous!
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