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Sleepover with opposite sex at 7 years old in same bed (update)

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Hey everyone, I am not fake, I have been on cafemom before but it was a very long time ago and I can't remember any of my info so I made a new one (just got re-married so I needed a fresh start anyways :))

Okay so my step kids just got here from there moms for the weekend and at dinner sd said that her brother had a sleepover last night with the girl he has a crush on at his bm's house. She said they slept in the same bed. He is 6 and the girl was 7. I find this completely and totally inappropriate. Am I wrong?

 

Update:

So I am reading the responses and just want to clarify a few things. I understand I am the "step mom". I am not poking my nose in her (BM's) business.  I just wanted to get ya'lls opinions to see if I was the only one who see's it wrong..

His older sister also said when she walked into the bedroom the girl was sleeping on top of him!!! I think that's just asking for problems later on in life. It may have been meant to be "innocent" but I just find it totally not okay for them to be sharing a bed!


Thanks to everyone for their input. I am not going to say anything to BM, because I agree with ya'll that it's not my place but if it continues to happen my hubby will address it as he see's fit :)

by on Nov. 9, 2012 at 8:35 PM
Replies (31-40):
Liyoness
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 12:57 AM
3 moms liked this

Because molestation would never happen between family members?


Quoting heatherd09:

I think cousins are a little different.

Quoting wildlilacs:

No big deal. Really? At 6 and 7? All they did was sleep. Heck, when my youngest dd spent the nite w her cousins, they all slept on the bed or floor together. And crushes arent adult feelings. Kids can like each other, it wasnt sexual. I remember my youngest dd liking/crushing on a boy when she was 5 cos he liked playing on the swing like her. Now at 9/10, then no.


OneToughMami
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:00 AM

And her parent allowed this too?

heatherd09
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:03 AM
Ya it's possible. I guess I just can't imagine it because our family has always been super close and we were all like brothers and sisters and that is not something that ever happened or even crossed anyone's mind. When I was a kid all us cousins slept together on my gramma's living room floor and it wasn't a big deal but my mom would've never let me just have a sleep over with a boy from my school that I had a crush on.

Quoting Liyoness:

Because molestation would never happen between family members?



Quoting heatherd09:

I think cousins are a little different.



Quoting wildlilacs:

No big deal. Really? At 6 and 7? All they did was sleep. Heck, when my youngest dd spent the nite w her cousins, they all slept on the bed or floor together. And crushes arent adult feelings. Kids can like each other, it wasnt sexual. I remember my youngest dd liking/crushing on a boy when she was 5 cos he liked playing on the swing like her. Now at 9/10, then no.


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SparklingHope
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:08 AM

That is wrong!! I can't believe she allowed that..well..just let him know it won't be happening in your house! Can't do much when it's under her house. Just guide him a little bit. What she allowed is messed up. 

Liyoness
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:12 AM

It's more than "possible"; statistically, it is most likely.

I was going to say that our parents would have never allowed that either, and then I remembered that as kids, my brother and I used to be best friends with another brother and sister our same ages. Often, we would all sleep together on our trampoline, or over at their house. It never ever crossed our minds to do anything sexual - we were pretty naive kids.

On the other hand, my cousin stayed at my house a couple years ago with her two boys (I have two girls) - even though I was fine with them all sharing a bed, she was strictly against it. She had a pretty traumatic childhood (outside of the family that we share).

*Shrug* I guess it depends on what your experiences were. I've never had the situation come up because my kids have not found best friends yet. By the time they get to the age where they express an interest in sleepovers, they'll likely be prepubescent.

Quoting heatherd09:

Ya it's possible. I guess I just can't imagine it because our family has always been super close and we were all like brothers and sisters and that is not something that ever happened or even crossed anyone's mind. When I was a kid all us cousins slept together on my gramma's living room floor and it wasn't a big deal but my mom would've never let me just have a sleep over with a boy from my school that I had a crush on.

Quoting Liyoness:

Because molestation would never happen between family members?



Quoting heatherd09:

I think cousins are a little different.



Quoting wildlilacs:

No big deal. Really? At 6 and 7? All they did was sleep. Heck, when my youngest dd spent the nite w her cousins, they all slept on the bed or floor together. And crushes arent adult feelings. Kids can like each other, it wasnt sexual. I remember my youngest dd liking/crushing on a boy when she was 5 cos he liked playing on the swing like her. Now at 9/10, then no.



SharonHernandez
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:14 AM
Hell no you're not wrong, I wouldn't allow that!
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JamminOutMama
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:18 AM
Yeah that's weird
heatherd09
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:20 AM
Definitely depends on your experiences. It's just sad in general that these are things we have to be worried about as parents.

Quoting Liyoness:

It's more than "possible"; statistically, it is most likely.

I was going to say that our parents would have never allowed that either, and then I remembered that as kids, my brother and I used to be best friends with another brother and sister our same ages. Often, we would all sleep together on our trampoline, or over at their house. It never ever crossed our minds to do anything sexual - we were pretty naive kids.

On the other hand, my cousin stayed at my house a couple years ago with her two boys (I have two girls) - even though I was fine with them all sharing a bed, she was strictly against it. She had a pretty traumatic childhood (outside of the family that we share).

*Shrug* I guess it depends on what your experiences were. I've never had the situation come up because my kids have not found best friends yet. By the time they get to the age where they express an interest in sleepovers, they'll likely be prepubescent.


Quoting heatherd09:

Ya it's possible. I guess I just can't imagine it because our family has always been super close and we were all like brothers and sisters and that is not something that ever happened or even crossed anyone's mind. When I was a kid all us cousins slept together on my gramma's living room floor and it wasn't a big deal but my mom would've never let me just have a sleep over with a boy from my school that I had a crush on.



Quoting Liyoness:

Because molestation would never happen between family members?




Quoting heatherd09:

I think cousins are a little different.





Quoting wildlilacs:

No big deal. Really? At 6 and 7? All they did was sleep. Heck, when my youngest dd spent the nite w her cousins, they all slept on the bed or floor together. And crushes arent adult feelings. Kids can like each other, it wasnt sexual. I remember my youngest dd liking/crushing on a boy when she was 5 cos he liked playing on the swing like her. Now at 9/10, then no.



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mommieof1b4g
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:20 AM

yes & no. i would not let it happen, but i feel that after a certain age boys & girl should be in oppisite rooms. my son is 7 & i dont put him in a room with my girls anymore he gets his own rm. i would not let him have a girl friend stay the night in his room. in his bed. maybe in the living room with sleeping bags. but some parents are different


Uhura
by Bronze Member on Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Unless there's been a reason for sexual behavior at those ages (and in which case, it really needs to be studied to what's going on in that home), there's really not that big of a deal. They were sleeping for pete's sake. 

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