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She f***ed someone in the bathroom and we think her husband should know. ***EDIT***

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All us neighbor gals went out for girls night and one of the gals hooked up andscrewed some random stranger in the mens room at the bar. We are all married and we are all friends. Our husbands are all friends with her hubby and we all party together every weekend. DH and the other husbands think someone should tell him what his wife did.

Thoughts?

 

Ok. So I was away for a couple of days and didn't have a chance to keep up with all of the replies.

4 things I would like to address:

a) YES... it was obvious what was going on the bathroom. A bunch of guys at the bar heard the "noise" and took turns entering the bathroom to get a peek. Two gals from our group went INTO the bathroom to make sure it was our friend (we were about to panic because we couldn't find her anywhere). Moments after returning to our table, the manager came to us and kicked her out for her "sexual acts."

b) YES... we party with our neighbors at least one night every weekend. We sit in driveways while the kids play in the culdesac and the adults hang out and have a beer or two. I say party because there are usually at least 15 of us, which to me qualifies as more than a "gathering." lol! My kids do not suffer. I don't drink every weekend. Much of our time is actually spent WITH the kids and all of the neighbors actively keeping an eye on each others children. It's not a booze fest, for those of you who like to make things up for drama sake.

c) For those of you saying STFU???? Right back at you! I'm here seeking your thoughts! Not your judgement. WHERE did I say I was ABSOLUTELY going to tell him? NOwhere... because I came here for your thoughts before making the determination... and I plan on sharing your thoughts with the other neighbor gals who feel the same as I do.

d) OF FUCKING COURSE my husband (and the other gals husbands) know. We all (except for the gal who screwed someone in the bathroom) have healthy marriages and I have told EVERY one of my friends to watch what they tell me because I share EVERYTHING with DH. I make no secret of that. Our friend who chose to involve us so deeply in her personal life also knew this. As for her? We all knew her marriage sucked. But she took advantage of us by putting us all in a really awkward position. If she wanted to go fuck some stranger, she should have done it on her own time and not involved the entire neighborhood. That is selfish and inconsiderate of her! And she didn't even appologize to us OR our friend who had to leave her MEAL to take her home because she got kicked out of the bar.

AND NO! No one has said anything... yet.

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 7:33 PM
Replies (41-50):
kimber2465
by Silver Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:18 PM
2 moms liked this

stay out of it. just because you hang out with them, doesn't mean that you know everything going on with their marriage,ect.  

xoxRachelxox
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Unless the husband comes to you and asks if it happened, I wouldn't say anything.

hismommy2010
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:18 PM
2 moms liked this

 Tough one. You are all friends. So I get the concern here. but at the same time, it's none of your busines.. also the holidays are approaching. Do they have kids? Do you really want to ruin the kids holidays because of this?

I don't think it's your place, or anyone else to tell her husband. If it bothers you that bad, then sit down and talk to her. Let her know that you feel horrible because you are ALL friends. Maybe tell her that you can't and won't go out with her anymore, if she ever does something like that again....

But it's not your place or anyone elses to rat her out. That would cause so much other shit, that I wouldn't want to be the cause of. She did what she did, she's a big girl and can make her own choices, I just wouldn't go out with her anymore.

Famousglm714
by Gina on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:19 PM
I would tell him. I'm not good at secrets like that.
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celestegood
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:19 PM
I just don't understand the must tell stuff. I would want to know but most of the time the cheating comes to light even if nobody tells the innocent spouse. I personally think its totally not worth the headache.

Quoting StrangeDays:

While this didn't happen to me, I agree about staying out of it. Either way, the husband will be mad, whether you tell him, or you don't tell him. In my opinion, the latter is the lesser of two evils.



Yes, I would want to know, but I would also be upset with whoever told me, and would probably try to accuse them of lying. It's not worth the headache.




Quoting celestegood:

 Honestly, I would stay out of it.  Once upon a time, I thought I knew what was best for another person's marriage and took it upon myself to tell the spouse that was cheated on.



HUGE mistake.



I would stay out of it.  If she is doing this kind of stuff, he either knows or will soon.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mstkn.identity
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:21 PM
Id stay out of it.
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charliebean
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:22 PM
How was it a huge mistake?

Quoting celestegood:

 Honestly, I would stay out of it.  Once upon a time, I thought I knew what was best for another person's marriage and took it upon myself to tell the spouse that was cheated on.


HUGE mistake.


I would stay out of it.  If she is doing this kind of stuff, he either knows or will soon.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Quatrekins
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I would talk to her and tell her to tell him, otherwise someone else would.

I was cheated on for 3 months in 2009. 4 of my friends and acquaintances knew all about it and never told me. Those are 5 people that I no longer keep in touch with. It took me a while to forgive them, but I still don't want to hang out with them because they totally did *not* have my back.

StrangeDays
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:24 PM
Exactly.

Quoting celestegood:

I just don't understand the must tell stuff. I would want to know but most of the time the cheating comes to light even if nobody tells the innocent spouse. I personally think its totally not worth the headache.



Quoting StrangeDays:

While this didn't happen to me, I agree about staying out of it. Either way, the husband will be mad, whether you tell him, or you don't tell him. In my opinion, the latter is the lesser of two evils.





Yes, I would want to know, but I would also be upset with whoever told me, and would probably try to accuse them of lying. It's not worth the headache.






Quoting celestegood:

 Honestly, I would stay out of it.  Once upon a time, I thought I knew what was best for another person's marriage and took it upon myself to tell the spouse that was cheated on.




HUGE mistake.




I would stay out of it.  If she is doing this kind of stuff, he either knows or will soon.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MomandWife6
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:26 PM

as her husband he has a right to know that his wife could have possible given him an std

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