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need advise asap edit read the bold

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i am with my so and he treats me like shit, i was wanting to know that if i left him can he take the kids if i have custody of them and he has vistiation on the weekends only. he cant even help us get a place of our own.

i am talking to a real good friend and he can support me and my kids and is willing to let us live with him and not pay a single bill, but the guy i am with right now would rather spend the money then pay bills. please help me i want out but need to know about the custody thing first.

my ds and dd

EDIT

I HAVE CUSTODY OF THE KIDS, HE HAS 3 OTHER KIDS THAT HE DONT EVEN BOTHER TO TAKE CARE OF. WE ARE NOT MARRIED. THE OTHER GUY LOVES MY KIDS. THE ONE I AM WITH HAS A CRIMINAL PAST AND IS ON PROBATION AND DOES NOT EVEN PAY HIS COURT FINES OR CHILD SUPPORT.

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 10:27 PM
Replies (11-20):
Lisa_Lynn
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:06 AM
1 mom liked this

 Very well said!!!! clapping

Quoting 3xangel:

Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.

Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .

Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?

You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.

 

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Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:13 AM
This.
Are you married to him?


Quoting PinkyPan:

Unless you have a custody order in place he can fail to return the children to you with no consequences. 

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jhslove
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable moving my children in with a friend and depending on that person for our livelihood. Is this "friend" a boyfriend, or someone who would like to be your boyfriend? Is he expecting anything in return for letting you and your children live with him for free? What would happen if you moved your kids in with him, and then for whatever reason he didn't want to continue the arrangement? Would you be prepared to support your children?

You need to talk to a lawyer before making any decisions. The rules vary by state, so you likely wouldn't even get any really worthwhile advice on an Internet message board. Check with your state--many have legal resources for women in abusive relationships at little or no cost.

Are you currently looking for a job? Do you have a degree or skills in some trade that you could use to earn money?

m0m23b0ys458
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:28 AM
1 mom liked this

This!!!!

But to answer your other question,I'm pretty sure that until you go to court to establish custody,he could pick them up for a visit and keep them.Then when you go to court,he could claim you abandoned them and he's had them the whole time you guys have been seperated.

Quoting 3xangel:

Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.

Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .

Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?

You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.


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m0m23b0ys458
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Come on!Are you really that naive?!?!Of course she's going to say he's just a "good friend"!Like she's really going to say she's boinking the guy and get called a cheating whore!!!God,people just don't think anymore!!!

Quoting dlnimo:

Just because she is letting a friend help her doesn't mean she isn't trying to support her family. SMH at jumping to conclusions.......


Quoting 3xangel:

Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.



Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .



Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?



You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.


CafeMom Tickers
Logan_Bellasmom
by Falling Starr on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:33 AM

He could very well get custody if he can prove you are unable to financial support them and having a new man do right as you leave him would not look good on you

LaLa_Ivory
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Um...don't go jumping from one guy to another just because you see a free ride.
Get a job. Leave.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Aydans_Mommy
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:36 AM
1 mom liked this
I freaking love you!

Quoting 3xangel:

Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.



Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .



Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?



You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LoveMyLos
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:36 AM
You can go anywhere you want with your kids as long as there is no court order saying otherwise. Leave the dude, and file for full custody asap.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dlnimo
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 7:46 AM
Naive? No. I just don't assume the worst when I read a post from a total stranger. Honestly, I don't care what OP is doing with this "friend" of hers since it has nothing to do with me. She was asking about custody of her children not whether I approve of her living arrangements....


Quoting m0m23b0ys458:

Come on!Are you really that naive?!?!Of course she's going to say he's just a "good friend"!Like she's really going to say she's boinking the guy and get called a cheating whore!!!God,people just don't think anymore!!!

Quoting dlnimo:

Just because she is letting a friend help her doesn't mean she isn't trying to support her family. SMH at jumping to conclusions.......





Quoting 3xangel:

Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.





Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .





Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?





You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.




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