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When bullying victims fight back, they get in trouble. At least at our school.

I know all fighting is wrong, but my daughter *finally* fought back for once and she got a referral for "sexual misconduct" because she kicked the boy in the groin after he flung her around and tried to slam her to the ground.

She's been sexually harassed on a regular basis for months by numerous students (dyke, cunt, etc), and nobody got written up for sexual misconduct. She's been hit, scratched, punched, etc. Nobody was written up. They all just "got a talking to". But the FIRST time she fights back, she gets a referral to go on her permanent record.

What Happens When Bully Victims Fight Back

I am so exhausted from dealing with this. I can't imagine how she feels.

I am looking into other schools next week.

I wrote the full story on my blog but am too tired to type it. :(

by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:02 PM
Replies (21-30):
conweis
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Same happen to my oldest but he would be the one to get in trouble when he fought back. He got jumped by three kids on the bus and because he kicked their asses he got in trouble.
He is homeschooled now
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Dark_Rain
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:44 PM

 Same thing happened to 2 of my kids. My son was 10 and got held down on the bus by 2 boys while a 3rd was beating him up. The bus driver didn't stop the bus or anything. My son got in trouble for breaking free and hitting the boy back and shoving him off him. He got kicked off the bus for 3 days. I asked exactly what would happen to the other boys and was told they were only defending themselves! My daughter was bullied by 4 girls being cornered at school, called all sorts of nasty names, being threatened. When she finally got fed up and told them off she got in trouble and was put in "solitary confinement" for the protection of the other girls!!!! I asked the guidance councelor, what is this a prison? She told me my dd was a danger to the other girls and actually told the other girls they had done nothing wrong! She was bullied for 2 weeks straight before even speaking up for herself. Schools these days (hell even when I was in school) don't do anything about bullies. And they wonder why we have so many counts of teenage suicide!

Dark_Rain
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:46 PM

 Thats exactly what happened to my boy! Only he only hit back once and shoved the boy off him after breaking free from the 2 that were holding him down!!! He was screaming and crying the whole time and the other boys were laughing. My dd was on the bus but couldn't get to him. She was outraged and spoke up for her brother but nobody cared that he was the victem!

Quoting conweis:

Same happen to my oldest but he would be the one to get in trouble when he fought back. He got jumped by three kids on the bus and because he kicked their asses he got in trouble.
He is homeschooled now

 

MumaSue
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:51 PM

I finally went in yesterday over my daughter being bullied by a group of girls. They said they went over to play with her ..... yeah right, use her as a kicking bag more like ...... and had the audacity to sit there saying she started it by throwing rocks at them. The fact the rock throwing started after the kicking and my DD was seen running away from them and had no chance to pick up the rocks before getting pelted herself changed the teachers tune.

I am tired of the bullying. Thank goodness I'm moving soon to another country and hopefully have a brand new start. At least we will have family around us and friends that I can talk to.

I am so sorry your daughter is having to go through this and I hope something happens in her favour. Next time she is touched she needs to shout rape, maybe then they will listen.

Kmary
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:52 PM

These sorts of punishments are the direct result of "no tolerance" policies gone very, very wrong.   Policies that, for the most part, parents have begged schools to implement. 

I'm sorry this happened to your dd.  If more people were able to fight back a bit without severe repercussions (as long as it was self defense)  we'd have a far smaller bullying problem than we do now becacuse bullies only respond to strength and we've removed our children's ability to show any strength by over the top punishments that don't fit the crime.  I mean, sexual misconduct?  When a male attacks a female, the female is supposed to hit them in the groin.. a self defense coach will tell you that!  Ugh.  This stuff makes my blood boil.

manicMOM_DLC
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Send her to school with a lovely note. And then go talk to the principal.
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mommy_2_be_2010
by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:02 PM
I fought back and was kicked out people saw even the city bus driver saw people bullying me harassing me and nothing was done. I did have a teacher who took notice and helped see to it that something was done but that was it.

My middle school principal(later he was my hs principal) threatend to kick me out of school because my mom went to the super intendant of the school district while she was on her job and told him what was going on I never said a word to my mom after that.

It's built up so bad i'm going through counseling
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toopicky429
by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:06 PM
I've heard that's typical. Tell her to continue standing up for herself, and to not tolerate crap. That's what I have told my children. Hugs to you and your daughter!
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Dark_Rain
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:09 PM

 When I was in HS I had a girl walk up to me while I was on the pay phone talking to my mother and slammed my head into the pay phone! A teacher stood there and watched the whole thing. The girl walked off and I called her a stupid bitch and a coward for hitting me while my back was turned. I got suspended for the rest of the day for swearing in the hall! This girl had been bullying me for days! She didn't even get in any trouble. My dad told me I should  have ran after her and kicked her ass. If I was going to be the one to get in trouble then I should have given them a good reason to suspend me!

Quoting mommy_2_be_2010:

I fought back and was kicked out people saw even the city bus driver saw people bullying me harassing me and nothing was done. I did have a teacher who took notice and helped see to it that something was done but that was it.

My middle school principal(later he was my hs principal) threatend to kick me out of school because my mom went to the super intendant of the school district while she was on her job and told him what was going on I never said a word to my mom after that.

It's built up so bad i'm going through counseling

 

sunnyday05
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:13 PM

I hate that this is happening to your girls :(  As a mom whose child is having friend issues at school (and your problems are 100x more than what we are goign through), I know the pain and anger you feel.  I applaud you for taking this to the highest levels and not wanting to let the school and bullies win but your children and their safety are the most important thing.  So don't feel like you are letting them win by switching schools.  Good luck

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