On wednesday me and my BF broke up it was completly out of the blue. I didnt know there was a problem but he said it has been going on for a year and a half. He said he was upset that i wasnt paying anything towards the billd. I dont have a job all i have right now is my CS. He said that he was upset that i havent lost weight sence i have had my two kids. Even though i work hard everyday to lose weight but it never changes. He's upset that he has HPV that he swears is from me because it showed up 2 months after we got back together. I had a pap smear in May and it came back clean. Can the HPV virus show up after years?? We have been together off and on for 10 years this time i think it is really over. He has broken up with me and kicked me out with my two kids 3 times. This time though me and the kids are staying in our appartment with him untill i can find a job and a place to stay i have a month to do that. I have to force myself to get out of bed everyday and to be a mom to my kids and to get out the door so i can find a job and a place to live. I feel like in our 10 year relationship i havent been good enough for him cause of my weight. All i want to do is fall apart. Even with everything he has done to me i still want to try and make it work. I feel so dead and empty inside. In 2 days i have lost 4lbs cause i cant eat but i drink alot of water. I lay awake in bed at night wishing he would come in there and hold him or kiss me and just tell me things are going to be ok. We rarely talk when we are home at the same time. I know it has only been a few days but i dont see a light at the end of the tunnel. Does it get easier and does the pain go away?? At 29 years old i am a single mom of 2 and i have been divorced twice. I honestly dont ever see me finding love or getting remarried. Maybe its because of how i feel but i feel like i am going to grow old alone with no one to share my life with.