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Does the pain ever go away?? PIOG

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:17 AM
  • 33 Replies

On wednesday me and my BF broke up it was completly out of the blue. I didnt know there was a problem but he said it has been going on for a year and a half. He said he was upset that i wasnt paying anything towards the billd. I dont have a job all i have right now is my CS. He said that he was upset that i havent lost weight sence i have had my two kids. Even though i work hard everyday to lose weight but it never changes. He's upset that he has HPV that he swears is from me because it showed up 2 months after we got back together. I had a pap smear in May and it came back clean. Can the HPV virus show up after years?? We have been together off and on for 10 years this time i think it is really over. He has broken up with me and kicked me out with my two kids 3 times. This time though me and the kids are staying in our appartment with him untill i can find a job and a place to stay i have a month to do that. I have to force myself to get out of bed everyday and to be a mom to my kids and to get out the door so i can find a job and a place to live. I feel like in our 10 year relationship i havent been good enough for him cause of my weight. All i want to do is fall apart. Even with everything he has done to me i still want to try and make it work. I feel so dead and empty inside. In 2 days i have lost 4lbs cause i cant eat but i drink alot of water. I lay awake in bed at night wishing he would come in there and hold him or kiss me and just tell me things are going to be ok. We rarely talk when we are home at the same time. I know it has only been a few days but i dont see a light at the end of the tunnel. Does it get easier and does the pain go away?? At 29 years old i am a single mom of 2 and i have been divorced twice. I honestly dont ever see me finding love or getting remarried. Maybe its because of how i feel but i feel like i am going to grow old alone with no one to share my life with.

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by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NollynsMommy14
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:25 AM

You don't deserve to be hurt mama. Just pray. I believe when a man decides to become serious with you. He needs to love you for all faults, he needs to know that if one day ya'll have a child, that there will be weight gain, and it's not easy to get off, if it ever does (I am having horrible problems with weight as well, just diagnosed with a thyroid problem, have you had your checked?) they need to love and accept that because maybe one day he won't look so hot eaither, yet we would love that man the same. Again just pray. I know it's hard but try and think prositive. Those babies are your happiness :) 

blsdbyangel07
by Evil Food Lady on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:25 AM
Itll get better with time. Unfortunately it wont happen overnight. And yes youre very young so you have plenty of time and will find someone who deserves you. Good luck!
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grey7399
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:27 AM
1 mom liked this

It does get better.  There is no time line.

You do need a job.  You need better self esteem.  You need to be motivated to lose weight for YOU, not other people.


You said something about "all his done to me" says volumes.  Don't wish for crap.  Wait for something better.  Stop LOOKING.  You don't need a man.  Find friendships, real ones.

jenking04
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:28 AM


Quoting NollynsMommy14:

You don't deserve to be hurt mama. Just pray. I believe when a man decides to become serious with you. He needs to love you for all faults, he needs to know that if one day ya'll have a child, that there will be weight gain, and it's not easy to get off, if it ever does (I am having horrible problems with weight as well, just diagnosed with a thyroid problem, have you had your checked?) they need to love and accept that because maybe one day he won't look so hot eaither, yet we would love that man the same. Again just pray. I know it's hard but try and think prositive. Those babies are your happiness :) 

It's funny cause he's not a super model and he has put on alot of weight sence we have been together as well. He gives me crap for not eating healthy everyday but he eats junk all the time like eating out or me making him nachoes (when we were together) or pizza.

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jenking04
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:30 AM


Quoting grey7399:

It does get better.  There is no time line.

You do need a job.  You need better self esteem.  You need to be motivated to lose weight for YOU, not other people.

 

You said something about "all his done to me" says volumes.  Don't wish for crap.  Wait for something better.  Stop LOOKING.  You don't need a man.  Find friendships, real ones.

It's funny ause i dont have any friends male or female

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Homeschoolmom99
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:30 AM
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My question is are these his kids? If so did you break up with him and find new men and go back? In ten years you have been his back up plan time to just be done. You should look for a support group in your area

Quoting NollynsMommy14:

You don't deserve to be hurt mama. Just pray. I believe when a man decides to become serious with you. He needs to love you for all faults, he needs to know that if one day ya'll have a child, that there will be weight gain, and it's not easy to get off, if it ever does (I am having horrible problems with weight as well, just diagnosed with a thyroid problem, have you had your checked?) they need to love and accept that because maybe one day he won't look so hot eaither, yet we would love that man the same. Again just pray. I know it's hard but try and think prositive. Those babies are your happiness :) 


Bambootrees
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:31 AM
Awww breaks my heart but you deserve better :)one day your handsome prince will come, until then keep positive and keep looking on moving forward. Hugs
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grey7399
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:33 AM

So, start by getting a job.  Or find a local weightloss group in your area.


Try a book club.  Look for online local community forums.  Look up your freecycle - you might be able to meet people that way.  Do not meet people from craigslist.

Quoting jenking04:


Quoting grey7399:

It does get better.  There is no time line.

You do need a job.  You need better self esteem.  You need to be motivated to lose weight for YOU, not other people.


You said something about "all his done to me" says volumes.  Don't wish for crap.  Wait for something better.  Stop LOOKING.  You don't need a man.  Find friendships, real ones.

It's funny ause i dont have any friends male or female


bcauseimthemom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Find a job and a place to go ASAP. Not being in the same residence as he is may make it a bit easier.  Why haven't you found a job before now??  Living off of child support??  That is meant to support the kids, not the mother. You are supposed to be providing for half of their needs as well.  If you haven't been doing anything to contribute other than the money provided by your children's fathers, i can see why he is pissed off.

NollynsMommy14
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:33 AM




Quoting NollynsMommy14:

You don't deserve to be hurt mama. Just pray. I believe when a man decides to become serious with you. He needs to love you for all faults, he needs to know that if one day ya'll have a child, that there will be weight gain, and it's not easy to get off, if it ever does (I am having horrible problems with weight as well, just diagnosed with a thyroid problem, have you had your checked?) they need to love and accept that because maybe one day he won't look so hot eaither, yet we would love that man the same. Again just pray. I know it's hard but try and think prositive. Those babies are your happiness :) 

It's funny cause he's not a super model and he has put on alot of weight sence we have been together as well. He gives me crap for not eating healthy everyday but he eats junk all the time like eating out or me making him nachoes (when we were together) or pizza.

Sounds like my husband and I lol lol. I will try and eat healthy and he will still eat out. Is never mutual. I think sometimes men make up stupid excuses for why they are unhappy he sounds like he is more unhappy with himself so maybe he's thinking if he makes a change it will make him happy. But he needs to know that he needs to change himself and not be so focused on changing the apperences of someone else. Let me tell you honey, even if u lost weight, which I'm sure your gorgeous, he would try and find something else to complain about. He sounds a little bitter, maybe once ip your heart starts to heal, you can be a stronger more driven individual without him. That's too much negative hoo haaaa for me

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