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Need advice from Moms who have lost Moms

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:15 AM
  • 7 Replies

I lost my beautiful Mom in feb.I am still having a hard time with it.This whole year has been bad.I lost a friend (from cafemom) to suicide and almost lost my dh to renal failure.I have inherited my Moms Christmas decorations.I have been decorating all week.She always went all out.The thing is I cant gewt into the spirit.I miss my Mom so much.I am trying for my kids but the pain is so strong.How do you get through this?How do you get through your 1st Christmas w/o your Mom?We would all get together and have a dinner at her house.Last year she was in the nursing home(she had alzzheimers) so we all went there to celebrate with her.I just cant seem to be happy about Christmas.I know Christmas Day will be so emotional.Would really love some advice.

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:15 AM
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by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:22 AM

the only advice I can give is you just do it.   You get thru it.  this will be my 2nd Christmas without my mom and Last Christmas didn't really feel like Christmas.   but we all got together the way we would of when she was with us.  It was hard, emotional and sad but we got thru it together.  Having my kids around was definitely helpful.

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:24 AM

I am so sorry for all your losses.

I don't remember my first christmas without my mother, I do know it wasn't probably until years later when we had our son that i began enjoying it again. 

You're still mourning.

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:24 AM
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by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:25 AM

i did not celebrate any holidays for 1 year, but then again i had no children at the time... its been 19 years since my mother died, and i will be honest it does not get better.. sure it will get easier, but it does NOT get better.  and this isnt only from me.. its from friends who have lost their mothers as well.

i got my mothers things as well, and 8 years ago when my father passed away i got the rest of it.  i dont use half of it, even though my mother was a christmas "whore" because i cannot get into it.  while the memories are great, the hurt that she never met her grandchildren or my DH is more painful.

i do minimal decorating.  this year, i may do a little more because of my DD.

many hugs... FM me if you ever just want to talk... i lost my mom when i was 19 and my dad when i was 30.  i got married at 32 and my 1st born was at 33.  so neither of my parents met my children.  my dad did meet my DH.

its very painful, and in all honesty this is the worst time of year for me, but i suck it up for my kids and my DH, we will start our own traditions with a mix of my parents.

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Just know that you have to get thru the first year. Every year after is less painful.
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by Ruby Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:30 AM

Thank-you all.I am so bitter and angry and sad.I still blame the nursing homke for her death.She had alzheimers and was end stage but I still believe she would still be here now if it wasnt for their neglect.I cant let go of my anger.I miss her more everyday.I am so sorry for all who have suffered losses.Hugs to all

by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:35 AM

My Mom passed in July, she was diagnoised with Lung Cancer last November and went down hill very quickly. We always went to her house the house she and my Dad bought in 1966 and I grew up in. I'm sad that there won't be Christmas in that house and at some point we will have to sell it. I think of the good times we had we each other, continuing some of the traditions and remembering my Mom before she was sick. I think about how she doesn't want us to be sad that she is gone because she is in heaven and has been reunited with her parents, my Dad, and some of  her life long college friends. I just try to remember the good times and remind my children of the good times and and although she may be gone from earth she will always be with us.

Sorry for your loss and good luck with your journey.

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