DD has been fighting a cold for over a week now. She seems to be getting better, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to lose her soon. Tonight it just got so overwhelming that while doing dishes, I had to stop, kneel down, and just cry. She's been asleep for the past hour, and every time I look at her, the feeling that I'm going to lose her soon get's overwhelming again and I start to cry. I hate thinking like this, but I just can't shake that gut feeling.
I'm not ready to lose her yet. I don't even know if I want her to be buried or cremated. With her condition, her death is inevitable, but I'm not ready yet. I don't think I ever will be. Why my baby? I've already lost two. Why do I have to lose a third?