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Im not invited to my sisters wedding **UPDATE**

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Let me start out by saying that I am extremely hurt. My sister and I are very close.

I'm currently helping my sister out with the dress shopping. She looks beautiful trying dresses and I am typing to not only vent but hide the pain.

My sister and her fiancee met in September and have plans to marry soon.

I am not allowed to know the date nor am I welcomed to come bc she wants to make it fair for him.

His parents are still in Belarus (it's a country next to Russia).

They are not able to attend so we're not allowed to attend. How is that my problem? I'm trying hard to be happy for her but I find myself miserable. I understand it's her day and her decision but can't help to feel sad.


After shopping with her all day.  I finally told her my feelings and recommended skyping the wedding to them.  She said it still wouldn't be the same.  To add more insult to injury, we finally found a very simple dress which she had been implying all day would be all day would be the wedding dress and as we were leaving the mall I mentioned something along the lines "Oh it took forever to find your dress, you're gonna look so beautiful..." to which she replied, "Oh, that's just the dress I'm wearing to the party we're having after the wedding, you can't see the dress". 

As if I haven't cried enough and poured my feelings out ...  I am hanging up my hat and putting my wall up.

Thank you ladies for your help.

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 12:01 PM
Replies (131-134):
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:20 PM

but the thing is weddings are not necessarily ALL about the bride and groom in most finctional to semi functional families it is not just the individual  who dreams about their wedding day.   when you have family that loves you your day of happiness becomes their dream as well.    where i can understand finacial constrictions.  that is not how you came off in your post .  you came off as it being totally unreasonable and selfish for your father to have wanted to walk his beloved daughter down the aisle and see he married.

Quoting Ktina11:

Wow. I really had no idea anyone would take offense to this. It was never my intention to come off as a bitch. I'm really not. It may have been the tone of my response. To me weddings are a waste of I didn't and still don't have. It just made sense not to put anyone into debt over a tradition that didn't mean a great deal to me. I understand that it may have meant a great deal to him and obviously many others that agree I was a bitch for making the choice we did. Your comments were very hurtful. IMO-weddings are about the bride and groom. What they want should be most important. It honestly just didn't seem logical to waste money at that point in our lives. Obviously, you don't know the whole situation...and I know tone is difficult to read in text...but you are the first person to call me a bitch is almost 5 years of being on Cafemom. :( I honestly had no idea this would offend so many.

Quoting fairyjester:

you sound like  a selfish bitch.

you realize your father probably dreamed  since the day you were born of walking you down the aisle

to bad he ended up with such a self centered bitch of a daughter.

Quoting Ktina11:

Hubby and I got married (7 years ago) without any family there. We told them weeks in advance. They didn't understand that the wedding was about us...NOT them. My dad still says stuff from time to time about how he didn't get to walk me down the aisle blah blah.... just shows me it is all about him.

"oh look they ate a baby,  how rude"---  Monroe
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I can  speak from experince, about a month after, she will reget the empty wedding. It may take longer, but she is going to hate what she did. well my sister did, and in trun it tugged at her marrage. they are doing a 1 year ceremony ad party to try to fix it, but most of our family gave up on them and wont join them, including our parents. I wish you luck and hope she changes her mind before its too late.

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:58 AM

Ditto...Your sister may really need you in the near future.  I understand you're hurt (I would be too) but don't cut your sister off. He sounds like a controlling person and she may need all the support you can give her in the future.

Quoting mmeredith:

I was thinking the same thing

Quoting my4littlegirls:

Sounds like he is going to end up to be a controlling husband. Good Luck to your sister.

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:00 AM

I'm sorry!! I would be hurt too.

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