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Need advice ASAP.....What would you do??

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I have been staying with my ex sence we broke up a few days ago. Things have been ok but today we had a HUGE blow out. He came home from work being a complete jack ass. I was trying to talk to him about our son and how he has been feeling. He sat there like he could care less. I also found out today that he has been cheating on me. Anyways things blew up and at one point he said he was going to call the cops on me for having weed (the weed was his) and alchole and send me to jail for a long time. I smacked him cause he was willing to hurt mt kids that way. He said I have till the first to be completly out at which time he will have a new apartment and will have the cable/internet and electric turned off. He said something about going after custody of my kids and cancelling childsupport. He said he would file a restraining order against me for stalking him that way it would be easier to get custody of my kids. He has left for the night and says he won't come back till I am gone. He says because I smaked him he fears for his life. My question is even though I have till the first to be out should I just move all my stuff out now and get it over with?? Or should I do it slowly and make sure I am out by the first?? I have no clue what him or his druggy friends are capeable of if they just show up here or what. What would you do?? The only problem is when I leave here I will be going back to my parents home.
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by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 5:35 AM
Replies (11-20):
jenking04
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:08 AM
He said he would move in with his mom and work under the radar so he would never jave to pay CS again.


Quoting SOCO101:


Quoting jenking04:

I would but if I know him he will do something stupid like cancell CS and disapear so he never has to pay CS again. Today was a one time thing. It was something I couldn't do when we were together.





Quoting SOCO101:

Leave now. Don't wait till the first. Sorry this is happening to you and your kiddos. I would try to stay away from any kind of alcohol right now since he's making these threats, imo. And if he's the druggie, he probably has shit on him. it wouldn't hurt to inform a social worker of this. 



He's probably just making threats that he has no plans on backing up. I wouldn't worry about them too much, but I would go ahead and try to get out. 


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dcdmattison03
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:13 AM

 I would leave now, get the main things you and the kidsleave then once they are safe ans sound at your parents I would go back for the rest asap. Whatever it took I would have all the stuff out in a day even if youhave to get a few friends to load up their cars, rent a uhaul, whatever but I would be gone

jhslove
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:16 AM

Where do you live? Do you have family or a friend you can stay with while you get on your feet? If not, there may be resources in your area for single mothers leaving abusive situations.

Quoting jenking04:

We are better without hime. And honestly it felt pretty damn good to hit him after all he has put me and my kids through.


Quoting jhslove:

I was just thinking this. If this guy is keeping drugs in the house and is willing to use "sending you to jail for a long time" (not sure how he thinks he has the power to do that, but whatever) , regardless of the negative impact that it would have on your son, then he's a jackass and a loser to boot.

Sounds like you AND your son would be better off without him.


Quoting jakesmom323:

Sounds like a toxic relationship and a bad environment for children anyways. Time to separate yourself from the situation especially if drugs are involved.




jhslove
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:18 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow, what an ass! So sorry you're dealing with this. MAKE SURE you document all of these conversations, especially where he's talking about an intent to break the law. If you can get him to put it in writing (an email or something like that), even better. Were there any witnesses when he said this?

Also, is his mom going to tolerate his moving in with her so he can avoid taking financial responsibility for his children?! That's pretty low. Maybe (if the two of you are on good terms) you can talk to her and get her to at least not support him in being such a douchenozzle.

Quoting jenking04:

He said he would move in with his mom and work under the radar so he would never jave to pay CS again.


Quoting SOCO101:


Quoting jenking04:

I would but if I know him he will do something stupid like cancell CS and disapear so he never has to pay CS again. Today was a one time thing. It was something I couldn't do when we were together.





Quoting SOCO101:

Leave now. Don't wait till the first. Sorry this is happening to you and your kiddos. I would try to stay away from any kind of alcohol right now since he's making these threats, imo. And if he's the druggie, he probably has shit on him. it wouldn't hurt to inform a social worker of this. 



He's probably just making threats that he has no plans on backing up. I wouldn't worry about them too much, but I would go ahead and try to get out. 



AustinsMommy007
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:23 AM
I'd get out now. Use trash bags & pack what you can. And he can't just up & cancel cs it doesn't work like that..
Good luck.. Let us know when you are settled into your parents
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jenking04
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:32 AM
I live in Nevada. I have set up all my resources to get the hell out of here.


Quoting jhslove:

Where do you live? Do you have family or a friend you can stay with while you get on your feet? If not, there may be resources in your area for single mothers leaving abusive situations.


Quoting jenking04:

We are better without hime. And honestly it felt pretty damn good to hit him after all he has put me and my kids through.





Quoting jhslove:

I was just thinking this. If this guy is keeping drugs in the house and is willing to use "sending you to jail for a long time" (not sure how he thinks he has the power to do that, but whatever) , regardless of the negative impact that it would have on your son, then he's a jackass and a loser to boot.

Sounds like you AND your son would be better off without him.



Quoting jakesmom323:

Sounds like a toxic relationship and a bad environment for children anyways. Time to separate yourself from the situation especially if drugs are involved.






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mandi0913
by Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:33 AM
My exh tried to pull same crap on me for the first couple years after I packed up me and kids. He wouldnt pay cs kept trying to get kids taken from me was saying Im,a drunk a druggie in which Im not I dont even drink or anything. Well anyway he jumped state to hide from cs he got away with it for about a year and a half the courts entered a nationwide warrant for him suspended his licence everything then just before christmas 3 yrs ago the us marahalls stormed his home took hom into custody and brought him bak to our home state. He was sentenced to 18 months doc and the state put a lien on his home and cars I ended up getting all the bak cs and spouse support since his release he's been a great father. He says getting locked up was a wake up call.
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jenking04
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:35 AM
Me and his mom don't get along. The last time she saw my son he was 6 months old. He is now 8 and she has never met my daughter. He told me to NEVER call him or text him cause he won't answer my calls that's how little our kids mean to him. If there is an emergency I can't call their own father.


Quoting jhslove:

Wow, what an ass! So sorry you're dealing with this. MAKE SURE you document all of these conversations, especially where he's talking about an intent to break the law. If you can get him to put it in writing (an email or something like that), even better. Were there any witnesses when he said this?

Also, is his mom going to tolerate his moving in with her so he can avoid taking financial responsibility for his children?! That's pretty low. Maybe (if the two of you are on good terms) you can talk to her and get her to at least not support him in being such a douchenozzle.


Quoting jenking04:

He said he would move in with his mom and work under the radar so he would never jave to pay CS again.





Quoting SOCO101:


Quoting jenking04:

I would but if I know him he will do something stupid like cancell CS and disapear so he never has to pay CS again. Today was a one time thing. It was something I couldn't do when we were together.








Quoting SOCO101:

Leave now. Don't wait till the first. Sorry this is happening to you and your kiddos. I would try to stay away from any kind of alcohol right now since he's making these threats, imo. And if he's the druggie, he probably has shit on him. it wouldn't hurt to inform a social worker of this. 




He's probably just making threats that he has no plans on backing up. I wouldn't worry about them too much, but I would go ahead and try to get out. 





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lakajungurl
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:37 AM
1 mom liked this
Get some boxes ,hell trash bags even ,pack your stuff and the kids stuff and leave .if you don't need it,don't take it.I packed a 3 bedroom house in less than 24 hrs and moved everything in one day just to get out of a bad situation .it can be done.send the kids with your mom and get to packing .get out and get it done before he comes back and things get worse.
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jenking04
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:37 AM
My ex will NEVER be a good father. He has 2 other kids that he hasn't seen in atleast 10 years.


Quoting mandi0913:

My exh tried to pull same crap on me for the first couple years after I packed up me and kids. He wouldnt pay cs kept trying to get kids taken from me was saying Im,a drunk a druggie in which Im not I dont even drink or anything. Well anyway he jumped state to hide from cs he got away with it for about a year and a half the courts entered a nationwide warrant for him suspended his licence everything then just before christmas 3 yrs ago the us marahalls stormed his home took hom into custody and brought him bak to our home state. He was sentenced to 18 months doc and the state put a lien on his home and cars I ended up getting all the bak cs and spouse support since his release he's been a great father. He says getting locked up was a wake up call.

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