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So my 11 month old is upstairs crying. It's bedtime. I've fed him, changed his diaper we played he's rubbing his eyes. Should I let him cry it out or should I try and put him to sleep. What do you think? Why or why not?.

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:06 PM
Replies (41-50):
jellybeanjean
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:12 PM

I kind of did a variation of the CIO method with my DD. I am pregnant again, and in a couple of months it will be really hard for me to keep rocking her - which is basically walking around with her in my arms - so I need her to learn to fall asleep on her own. What I did was basically stay in the room with her the whole time, have her air purifier going as background sound, and the tv on low ( so I don't get bored). And I just lay her down and wait for her to fall asleep. she doesn't really "cry" but she complains a lot. She always knows I am there though.

It's worked. She has taught herself to fall asleep without me holding her. Which is great. And it wasn't as painful as traditional CIO.

AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:24 PM

I think you should go pick him up, sing him a song, and rock him to sleep. That's just me though.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosey, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child. I believe that my "place" is in the home caring for my husband and children. My husband is head of our home and I *love* my life! (just getting the controversial stuff out of the way!)             Aimee












January1964
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:56 PM

Try to let him cry (as long as it doesn't seem like a distressed cry) for 15 minutes, if you can. I never did that and here I am with a 3 1/2 year old and I'm running in there like a jackass a couple times a night. Not every night, but still....

Paperfishies
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:14 PM
2 moms liked this

Even with Dr.Feber's ridiculous CIO method, you aren't supposed to leave the crying child alone.  You're supposed to stand over them and pat their back, rub their back and stomach while talking to them.  The child needs the security of knowing you're there no matter what.  Leaving a scared child in a room by themselves to "CIO" is beyond cruel, it's negligent.

gr8d8n3mom
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:51 PM

I have 2 grown daughters, and 2 toddler grand daughters, I was a rocking chair mom and Nana. I hum . When I do lay them down if they are just fussing, I let them settle themselves, if they are crying I go in pat their back and soothe them, if that doesn't work, I rock.  

KoJA2
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think the CIO method is effective or humane. JMO

Arwyn724
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:34 PM


Quoting Kris_PBG:

Quoting waffa:




Ummm - babies communicate needs through crying.

Obviously, his needs are not met.

Why don't you put yourself to sleep through crying hysterically until you are too exhausted to continue before doing that to a helpless child?

Crying hysterically is not a part of the CIO method.

Kris_PBG
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:47 PM

All depends on who you ask...  And how a parent chooses to interpret that.

I can assure you it IS for some children, sadly.

Quoting Arwyn724:


Quoting Kris_PBG:

Quoting waffa:




Ummm - babies communicate needs through crying.

Obviously, his needs are not met.

Why don't you put yourself to sleep through crying hysterically until you are too exhausted to continue before doing that to a helpless child?

Crying hysterically is not a part of the CIO method.


Kris_PBG
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 7:50 PM

An hour????  That is beyond saddening to me...  :( :( :(

Quoting jhslove:

I strongly believe in CIO, but I also strongly believe that it needs to be implemented carefully and after thorough research. You need to read up on it (I recommend Ferber and Weissbluth), come up with a plan that you and your husband/partner (if applicable) can both stick to, and THEN start. CIO is not something to do spur-of-the-moment or without knowing exactly WHY you're doing it and what you hope to accomplish.

A lot of the time, when you hear people say, "I tried CIO and it didn't work", it's that they didn't do their research and they did it wrong, or they didn't understand going into it exactly what this method entails, so they gave up halfway through and ended up making the problem worse.

Here's what we did with our daughter--it worked beautifully and now at 13 months, she's an incredible sleeper:

1) We read Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. We noted any differences between the two and talked about which method we preferred. (Although they are  very similar, they are NOT the same and Ferber and Weissbluth have particularly different ideas on how much sleep babies need.)

2) We institued a consistent, soothing bedtime routine several weeks before we wanted to start CIO.

3) We made sure we could read her sleepy cues and made sure to start CIO at a time when we knew she wasn't sick, teething or going through a growth spurt. We also talked to our downstairs neighbors to let them know we would be doing this, and gave them a gift of a bottle of wine and some earplugs.

4) After two or three weeks of groundwork and preparation, we finally did CIO. It took a few nights, and the first night she cried for about an hour at bedtime and about 20 minutes when she woke up in the middle of the night. We had a plan for how long after bedtime we would feed her, since she wasn't yet sleeping all the way through the night; we decided that if she woke up crying and it had been over 6 hours since bedtime, we would feed her and then put her back down. We made sure we were both on the same page and both prepared to stick it out, and once we started CIO we didn't turn back. It was hard, but it was completely worth it. Now that she sleeps well, she is rested and happy during the day, and we're able to be better parents because we're not worn down and exhausted all the time.


pamelax3
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:12 PM
I would not be able to let my ds cio! But you haveto do what is best for your little one
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