OK, families can suck, holidays can suck. There is a lot of tension in my family between my parents and DH/me. Long story short, my parents thought DH was abusive (they had a reason to think it, but refused to believe me when I was telling the truth and he has never raised a hand to me) and totally went off on him , threatening him, etc..then when I continued with my life (we were literally in the process of moving in together) they stopped speaking to me for two years...finally I reached out to them and things started to get better. There was another "falling" out about a year later, then over the past 3-4 years, things have gotten better..or so I thought. DH told me last night that he is still extremely uncomfortable around them (I see them like once or twice a month, DH sees them I guess about 8 times a year I would say...all bdays and holidays, and on occasion for no reason). My parents have never apologized to me or DH for how they treated us.
My brother's girlfriend is pregnant, and they want to make a big to-do about announcing it to my kids (DS10 is mine, SD9 is DH's, but we have full custody of her, her biomom doesn't even call her, SD calls me mom, she is my DD and I have been in her life since she was 5 months old, so she really is my DD....but she is not as accepted and doted on as my DS is in that family...so that's another spot of tension). DH thinks they shouldn't announce it to our kids bc it's not that big of a deal, plus I am super annoyed bc they are on welfare, live with my parents, and are not married. DH and I rent from my MIL and want to get pregnant, but we won't bc we are waiting to buy our own house.
So there are just a ton of emotions involved in all of this. I had told my mom we would be coming on Thursday for dessert (we do dinner at our home with my MIL and brother-in-laws) like we have for the past couple years. Now DH said he really doesn't want to go bc it's hard for him to watch the complete lack of respect my parents have for me (and in turn, for DH and for SD). He said he will go because it is up to me, it's my family and he will support me. But I feel so torn. I am very big on supporting my DH and doing as he wishes (he doesn't ask for much and he always supports me in everything even when he doesn't agree)..but I only have one set of parents and the one brother. So even though my family sucks, they are my only family, you know?
So what would you do? Also, my DS will be disappointed if we don't go, but it won't really matter to SD. Honestly, I would rather not go, but I feel guilty...I always feel so damn guilty.