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NEED ANSWERS!! PLEASE

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:17 PM
  • 9 Replies

so im just a little confused, my so is in the air force and me and him were talking about when i get to move with him when he gets stationed somewhere next year, i am going through a custody battle with my daughters dad that will hopefully be over soon, but i didn't know if i had to have a certain percentage of custody in order to live on base with him or if i just had to be granted sole physical custody, does anyone know or could refer me to a site. any info would greatly be appriciated! and yes i know i have to be married too.

by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:17 PM
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Replies (1-9):
missamanda86
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:20 PM

Are you guys planning to get married? In the Army, if you arent married you live in the barracks. Before Dh and I got married, thats where he lived. After, we moved to an apartment, and it has nothing to do with your custody arrangement as far as I know. But I could be wrong. My husband and I could live on post if we wanted to, and we have 3 kids. 2 from my first marriage.

Corine_tnm
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:23 PM


Quoting missamanda86:

Are you guys planning to get married? In the Army, if you arent married you live in the barracks. Before Dh and I got married, thats where he lived. After, we moved to an apartment, and it has nothing to do with your custody arrangement as far as I know. But I could be wrong. My husband and I could live on post if we wanted to, and we have 3 kids. 2 from my first marriage.

YES!!!! deffenetly planning on marriage, what was your arrangment on your 2 kids from your first marrage?? does the father see them at all??

missamanda86
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:26 PM

We have a custody agreement, I have sole custody, but he hasnt seen them in almost 3 years. I dont think he plans to. And in all honesty, I dare him to try anything with me. He's a hardcore drug user, and it would be a bad day for him if he did. I think he knows that. Dont get me wrong, Im not keeping him from the kids. If he wanted to see them, I would let him, but he's made no mention of it, or effort at all. Per our divorce papers, it says HE has to pay for transportation costs to see them. He doesnt even pay child support, so yeah. 

Quoting Corine_tnm:


Quoting missamanda86:

Are you guys planning to get married? In the Army, if you arent married you live in the barracks. Before Dh and I got married, thats where he lived. After, we moved to an apartment, and it has nothing to do with your custody arrangement as far as I know. But I could be wrong. My husband and I could live on post if we wanted to, and we have 3 kids. 2 from my first marriage.

YES!!!! deffenetly planning on marriage, what was your arrangment on your 2 kids from your first marrage?? does the father see them at all??


Corine_tnm
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:30 PM

ok so when you went to court, did he try to fight you at all to have them equal time?? my ex is and he also uses drugs and has an extensive history with them. would the judge look at all that past history to make his decision on it? i am just trying to get all the info on it. hes 32 lives with his mom has no car no job pays no child support and goes to jail minimum of once a year. yet he is still fighting me for joint custody, i feel pretty confident in gettng sole physical and possibly legal considering i make every decision about her overall well being, but im still a little worried about what the judge will decide

Quoting missamanda86:

We have a custody agreement, I have sole custody, but he hasnt seen them in almost 3 years. I dont think he plans to. And in all honesty, I dare him to try anything with me. He's a hardcore drug user, and it would be a bad day for him if he did. I think he knows that. Dont get me wrong, Im not keeping him from the kids. If he wanted to see them, I would let him, but he's made no mention of it, or effort at all. Per our divorce papers, it says HE has to pay for transportation costs to see them. He doesnt even pay child support, so yeah. 

Quoting Corine_tnm:

 

Quoting missamanda86:

Are you guys planning to get married? In the Army, if you arent married you live in the barracks. Before Dh and I got married, thats where he lived. After, we moved to an apartment, and it has nothing to do with your custody arrangement as far as I know. But I could be wrong. My husband and I could live on post if we wanted to, and we have 3 kids. 2 from my first marriage.

YES!!!! deffenetly planning on marriage, what was your arrangment on your 2 kids from your first marrage?? does the father see them at all??



missamanda86
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:34 PM

My ex didnt even show up to court. Have you made the judge aware of the drug use? Do you have any proof of it? If not, it's only hear say and that doesnt hold up in court. Judges wont intentionally put the welfare of children at stake, just for visitation. He can order rehab and your ex to be clean for X amount of time, before he's allowed to see the children, but only if there is documentation that he is at present doing drugs, or maybe even with a history of them.

Quoting Corine_tnm:

ok so when you went to court, did he try to fight you at all to have them equal time?? my ex is and he also uses drugs and has an extensive history with them. would the judge look at all that past history to make his decision on it? i am just trying to get all the info on it. hes 32 lives with his mom has no car no job pays no child support and goes to jail minimum of once a year. yet he is still fighting me for joint custody, i feel pretty confident in gettng sole physical and possibly legal considering i make every decision about her overall well being, but im still a little worried about what the judge will decide

Corine_tnm
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:42 PM

we have only been going to mediation, but it ended on monday because we couldn't agree on anything, it's hard for me to get proof unless the judge acctually looks at his history, he was just arrested earlier this year for assult and has restraining orders on him, also i had to cal CYFD last week because he keeps taking her in his car with no car seat. i tried calling the police on him when he drove away with her but they never dispatched a cop. he was physically and verbally abusive to me, which my now 7 year old son has heard the way he used to talk to me or yell at me i should say. i have pictures of when he crack my car window with his fist because his was mad at me one day and i have pictures of when he punched a whole in my wall nearly missing my face in an argument we had, i also have a police report i had made a couple of years ago of him threateing to break into my car and take my things and saying that i was afraid of him, does that stuff help???

Quoting missamanda86:

My ex didnt even show up to court. Have you made the judge aware of the drug use? Do you have any proof of it? If not, it's only hear say and that doesnt hold up in court. Judges wont intentionally put the welfare of children at stake, just for visitation. He can order rehab and your ex to be clean for X amount of time, before he's allowed to see the children, but only if there is documentation that he is at present doing drugs, or maybe even with a history of them.

Quoting Corine_tnm:

ok so when you went to court, did he try to fight you at all to have them equal time?? my ex is and he also uses drugs and has an extensive history with them. would the judge look at all that past history to make his decision on it? i am just trying to get all the info on it. hes 32 lives with his mom has no car no job pays no child support and goes to jail minimum of once a year. yet he is still fighting me for joint custody, i feel pretty confident in gettng sole physical and possibly legal considering i make every decision about her overall well being, but im still a little worried about what the judge will decide


missamanda86
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:44 PM

I would present the judge with that information, and if you can get a copy of the call you made to the police about him taking your LO without a carseat that would help too. 

Quoting Corine_tnm:

we have only been going to mediation, but it ended on monday because we couldn't agree on anything, it's hard for me to get proof unless the judge acctually looks at his history, he was just arrested earlier this year for assult and has restraining orders on him, also i had to cal CYFD last week because he keeps taking her in his car with no car seat. i tried calling the police on him when he drove away with her but they never dispatched a cop. he was physically and verbally abusive to me, which my now 7 year old son has heard the way he used to talk to me or yell at me i should say. i have pictures of when he crack my car window with his fist because his was mad at me one day and i have pictures of when he punched a whole in my wall nearly missing my face in an argument we had, i also have a police report i had made a couple of years ago of him threateing to break into my car and take my things and saying that i was afraid of him, does that stuff help???

Quoting missamanda86:

My ex didnt even show up to court. Have you made the judge aware of the drug use? Do you have any proof of it? If not, it's only hear say and that doesnt hold up in court. Judges wont intentionally put the welfare of children at stake, just for visitation. He can order rehab and your ex to be clean for X amount of time, before he's allowed to see the children, but only if there is documentation that he is at present doing drugs, or maybe even with a history of them.

Quoting Corine_tnm:

ok so when you went to court, did he try to fight you at all to have them equal time?? my ex is and he also uses drugs and has an extensive history with them. would the judge look at all that past history to make his decision on it? i am just trying to get all the info on it. hes 32 lives with his mom has no car no job pays no child support and goes to jail minimum of once a year. yet he is still fighting me for joint custody, i feel pretty confident in gettng sole physical and possibly legal considering i make every decision about her overall well being, but im still a little worried about what the judge will decide



Corine_tnm
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:51 PM

Thank you for your info! i really appriciate it!

Quoting missamanda86:

I would present the judge with that information, and if you can get a copy of the call you made to the police about him taking your LO without a carseat that would help too. 

Quoting Corine_tnm:

we have only been going to mediation, but it ended on monday because we couldn't agree on anything, it's hard for me to get proof unless the judge acctually looks at his history, he was just arrested earlier this year for assult and has restraining orders on him, also i had to cal CYFD last week because he keeps taking her in his car with no car seat. i tried calling the police on him when he drove away with her but they never dispatched a cop. he was physically and verbally abusive to me, which my now 7 year old son has heard the way he used to talk to me or yell at me i should say. i have pictures of when he crack my car window with his fist because his was mad at me one day and i have pictures of when he punched a whole in my wall nearly missing my face in an argument we had, i also have a police report i had made a couple of years ago of him threateing to break into my car and take my things and saying that i was afraid of him, does that stuff help???

Quoting missamanda86:

My ex didnt even show up to court. Have you made the judge aware of the drug use? Do you have any proof of it? If not, it's only hear say and that doesnt hold up in court. Judges wont intentionally put the welfare of children at stake, just for visitation. He can order rehab and your ex to be clean for X amount of time, before he's allowed to see the children, but only if there is documentation that he is at present doing drugs, or maybe even with a history of them.

Quoting Corine_tnm:

ok so when you went to court, did he try to fight you at all to have them equal time?? my ex is and he also uses drugs and has an extensive history with them. would the judge look at all that past history to make his decision on it? i am just trying to get all the info on it. hes 32 lives with his mom has no car no job pays no child support and goes to jail minimum of once a year. yet he is still fighting me for joint custody, i feel pretty confident in gettng sole physical and possibly legal considering i make every decision about her overall well being, but im still a little worried about what the judge will decide

 



missamanda86
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:54 PM

Glad I could help :)

Quoting Corine_tnm:

Thank you for your info! i really appriciate it!

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