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Why would a woman not take on her dh's last name?. If they are married

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I know some women may get married.  But then choose to not take the dh's last name.  If you love the man enough to marry him.  Why wouldn't you take his last name?  My sister got married to dh 3 December  2011.  Summer of 2012 moves to the state he is from with her kids.  She getsa job there.  But goes by her maiden last name.  Not the last name she had from dh 2 father of all her kids. 

by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 8:30 AM
Replies (21-30):
pinkcoffeecup
by Gold Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:13 AM

No not implying anything bad.  Just wondering what people felt as a reason for not taking on their dh's last name.  Me was proud to take on dh's last name.  I didn't like my last name anyways.

Quoting FooLynRoo:

because its a choice.

Are you saying the man doesn't love his wife because he doesn't take her last name? No

so why because i have a vagina i have to express my love by changing MY name.

btw I did change my last name a few years after marriage, but only because DH said it would mean a lot to him. Not that he felt unloved.  He can be pretty traidtional sometimes. 

I kept my last name though, just made it my middle name.

doesn't mean I dont love my husband.



Piskie
by Gold Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:14 AM
4 moms liked this
Why shouldn't he take mine?
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Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:16 AM
2 moms liked this

 Personal choice.....I mean based on the divorce rate, and the fact that so many think a divorced woman should have to, "give back", a man's name after divorce, why bother changing it?

mikesmom65270
by Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:16 AM

Taking the husband's last name is a tradition, not a given.  I don't think it has anything to do with depth of love and committment.  Sometimes I wish I had kept my maiden name, although my maiden name is a very common one and my husband's surname is relatively unique.  I also like the hyphenated approach.  All in all, it's a personal decision and shouldn't be of concern to anyone else.

eesmommy
by Gold Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:16 AM
I didn't for three years due to dh being in a lawsuit over an arrest he had made in the state we used to live in, as well as because there was a woman who had the same driver liscence number as mine and I had my identity stolen. Our lawyer advised me to wait to change my name until we had squared away some things so that my new name wouldn't be attatched to those things. The lawsuit was bogus and a futile attempt to get money and was thrown out but you never know so we did what we had to do. I still used dh name though and only on paper was I known as my maiden name:)
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ahasugar
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this
I know some girls like me are just proud of their names
Yogamom08
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:17 AM
If they have a business or are known by their last name, I can understand that
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Goobieville
by Bronze Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:18 AM

I love my husband- I don't particularly like and want to be connected by name with the rest of his family.. I don't want to be one of "them". 

I will keep my last name, our children's names are hyphenated. 

alwayskk
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't understand why anyone would bother to wonder about it.

FooLynRoo
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:33 AM

You keep saying things implying bad.

 If you love the man enough to marry him.  Why wouldn't you take his last name?  

Me was proud to take on dh's last name


by making those statements you are questioning a womans pride or love in her mate.

And what i telling you right now - is you're wrong. it has nothing to do with either of those.

I have much pride and love for my husband

but didn't feel compelled to change my name.. I dont see a REASON to do it. Not in this day and age, some conventions don't come naturally to me.

When i found an actual reason (my husbands express desire). I changed it.




Quoting pinkcoffeecup:

No not implying anything bad.  Just wondering what people felt as a reason for not taking on their dh's last name.  Me was proud to take on dh's last name.  I didn't like my last name anyways.

Quoting FooLynRoo:

because its a choice.

Are you saying the man doesn't love his wife because he doesn't take her last name? No

so why because i have a vagina i have to express my love by changing MY name.

btw I did change my last name a few years after marriage, but only because DH said it would mean a lot to him. Not that he felt unloved.  He can be pretty traidtional sometimes. 

I kept my last name though, just made it my middle name.

doesn't mean I dont love my husband.




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