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Why would a woman not take on her dh's last name?. If they are married

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I know some women may get married.  But then choose to not take the dh's last name.  If you love the man enough to marry him.  Why wouldn't you take his last name?  My sister got married to dh 3 December  2011.  Summer of 2012 moves to the state he is from with her kids.  She getsa job there.  But goes by her maiden last name.  Not the last name she had from dh 2 father of all her kids. 

by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 8:30 AM
Replies (31-40):
kansasmom1978
by Katie on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:35 AM

I took my husbands name. It was not so strange to take the husbands name till recent years. Now a days most values that used to be dear, have been thrown out the window.

PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:36 AM
3 moms liked this

Because I am not his property.  Because I have my own last name.

FooLynRoo
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:38 AM

btw even after I changed it, it took him many years to call me mrs milorey - as that was always his mothers moniker. LOL


TheMrs407
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:40 AM

They are known by the maiden name in their career, their maiden name has sentimental value, they feel it's a sexist tradition...I am sure there are many other reason as well.

FooLynRoo
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting kansasmom1978:

I took my husbands name. It was not so strange to take the husbands name till recent years. Now a days most values that used to be dear, have been thrown out the window.

Recent years, being the last 40 since women were stopped being considered property of their husbands who .. who had absolute rights over their health care, sex life and career.. yea

too bad they threw those other precious values out the window.


For me - a name change isn't a value. its just a tradition.

A value is loving, and honoring and making it work with the man you have chosen to spend your life with.


LadySaphira
by Bronze Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:41 AM

So they don't have to change their name with social security, the DMV, Etc? Some may not change their last name for professional reasons, or the last name has a "reputation?" I have a friend at work who'd husband relatives are always being arrested for drugs, theft, assault, Etc. He is considered the "black sheep" of the family because he is law abiding, and is a very nice man. She often complains that as soon as someone hears their last name the automatically assume she and her husband are trouble.

Bertha21
by Bronze Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:44 AM
I love my last name! I don't like his. Lol I am on the fence about it. I don't see why you should have to change a name that was given to you so proudly by your parents.
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kansasmom1978
by Katie on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:44 AM

True. It may be a tradition or just because. But it's not the only thing that has gone. People don't even marry anymore. They keep my money and his money separate. They try to be separate instead of a couple. It's sad. You can be married couple without giving up your individuality.

Quoting FooLynRoo:


Quoting kansasmom1978:

I took my husbands name. It was not so strange to take the husbands name till recent years. Now a days most values that used to be dear, have been thrown out the window.

Recent years, being the last 40 since women were stopped being considered property of their husbands who .. who had absolute rights over their health care, sex life and career.. yea

too bad they threw those other precious values out the window.


For me - a name change isn't a value. its just a tradition.

A value is loving, and honoring and making it work with the man you have chosen to spend your life with.



FooLynRoo
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:50 AM

You can also be a successful couple without marriage.

Again its a tradition that not everyone needs to adhere to.

I was in a great lasting loving relationship for 10 years before getting maried.

Although we never kept money seperate, my one sister does, and she's been with her husband since she was 15, they are celebrating 23 years together this year.

Im on 22 myself, 10 of them unmarried and still happy.

Marriage didn't represent a lack of individuality to me, nor did changing my name.

I simply never felt the urge to take those steps without a valid reason - OTHER than - everyone else does it.

IT wasn't necessary is what im saying, it isn't necessary - that's why it doesn't have to be done.

but when I found a reason to do those things I did it.



Quoting kansasmom1978:

True. It may be a tradition or just because. But it's not the only thing that has gone. People don't even marry anymore. They keep my money and his money separate. They try to be separate instead of a couple. It's sad. You can be married couple without giving up your individuality.

Quoting FooLynRoo:


Quoting kansasmom1978:

I took my husbands name. It was not so strange to take the husbands name till recent years. Now a days most values that used to be dear, have been thrown out the window.

Recent years, being the last 40 since women were stopped being considered property of their husbands who .. who had absolute rights over their health care, sex life and career.. yea

too bad they threw those other precious values out the window.


For me - a name change isn't a value. its just a tradition.

A value is loving, and honoring and making it work with the man you have chosen to spend your life with.




sexychica25
by Gold Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 9:53 AM
It took me five years to take my husband's name and I only did that because my wallet was stolen. I even dropped my middle name so I can keep my maiden name. Idk my maiden means a lot to me and apart of me felt like I was loosing myself if I gave it up.
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