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I have spent so much of my time being angry.....

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:07 AM
  • 13 Replies

At my ex for all the pain he has caused me and my kids. It has been a week and a half since we broke up and almost a week since we moved out. He already has another GF infact he started seeing this new GF just a couple of days before he broke up with me. I hate that he only decides to be a dad when its convienent for him. Since we moved out almost a week ago he has not asked to see the kids but he will send a text to my son. I text my EX today to tell him that are DD hasnt really eaten in a week. She may eat a banana here or yogurt there maybe a fruit snack but not much else. He said if she doesnt start eating soon to take her to the DR. I said i cant afford the co pay right now. So he said ok then take her to the ER. he has not asked about his kids or asked about how they are adjusting. I hate him for what he has done to my kids to see the pain in their eyes because their dad doesnt want them. I wish he would be a full time dad or dissapear out of their lives for good. Instead of coming and going as he pleases. We have a visitation order in place and he never goes by it. He expects me to drop EVERYTHING i am doing so he can see the kids. I am in the process of looking for a job hopefully i will find one before we move in 2 weeks. I am trying to clean up the mess my EX has created with my kids. The pain he has cause and doesnt even care he has turned my DD in to a monster by always allowing her to get away with things and giving her what she wants. We didnt deserve the pain he has caused us and doesnt even care or have any remorse for all the lies and cheating he did. I am going to swear off men for awhile just focus on me and my kids and finding a job and getting settled in to our new apartment. IF i am meant to find love again or meant to get married again than he will find me because i am not looking. Maybe if i stop looking i will actually find one of the good guys who will treat me and my kids with respect and love and treat me like a queen and treat my kids as his own. I'm done with all the liers and cheaters. We are better off without them and this time i refuse to look back. From here on out we will be looking forward to a bigger and brighter future for me and my kids.

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by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:07 AM
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smurfbitebug
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:09 AM
1 mom liked this
If you have a visitation order in place, and he isn't going by it, smack him with contempt. You don't need a lawyer. Do it pro se.
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jenking04
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:14 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting smurfbitebug:

If you have a visitation order in place, and he isn't going by it, smack him with contempt. You don't need a lawyer. Do it pro se.

Honestly i would perfer he didnt see the kids at all. He does drugs hangs out with druggies and questionable girls. I would go after full custody but i know if i did that he would do something stupid to cause me more pain or the kids. He doesnt care if what he is doing is hurting the kids all he cares about is him self and the whores he's sleeping with.

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marinewife55
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:25 AM
Trust me, I've been separated for 2.5 years and stbxdh has done unthinkable things to me in the past five years, some things I don't even share, so I understand why you're angry...and my ex is a horrible father as well, however it feels sooo much better when you let the anger go, its better for you and better for your kids...the few times a year that my stbxdh sees my dd though his visitation is every Saturday, he tells my dd that I don't love her and I keep her away from him and her mom is a bitch, all that, however it doesn't phase her because she feels stable with me and she knows everything is okay at home...kids feel tension and anger and it causes them to act out due to not feeling secure...as hard as it is, you just have to focus on giving ur children the happiest best life you can and not be concerned with their father...it feels a lot better when you do that
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smurfbitebug
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:33 AM
I can't say what I want to say without being a bitch, so I'm sorry this is happening and that you feel like you can't or shouldn't do anything about it.

Quoting jenking04:



Quoting smurfbitebug:

If you have a visitation order in place, and he isn't going by it, smack him with contempt. You don't need a lawyer. Do it pro se.

Honestly i would perfer he didnt see the kids at all. He does drugs hangs out with druggies and questionable girls. I would go after full custody but i know if i did that he would do something stupid to cause me more pain or the kids. He doesnt care if what he is doing is hurting the kids all he cares about is him self and the whores he's sleeping with.

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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:34 AM

It has only been a week and a half so yes the children are probably confused about what is going on . When was the visitation set up?  He may be too busy being a free agent and acting like the top dog of world to actually care about anyone else.   If he doesnt hold up to the visitations, just carry on as you would on a typical day.

Fields456
by Sexy and I know it on Nov. 24, 2012 at 2:38 AM
From m personal experience the best thing u can do for yourself and your kids is find away to let go of the anger it doesn't help anything or anyone. I have been there pm if u need to talk
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Allinorder
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 3:26 AM
I would take your child to counseling. Split ups are hard in kids. When we were with my parents and dh had to come home and spend the night the kids were asking about him. That was one night away your kids it's been a week and a half. I feel bad for your kids that sucks that the ex puts drugs and woman ahead of them. I would go to the welfare office and get child support taken out. I would find a lawyer and get the scumbag good.
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jenking04
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 6:26 AM
I already get CS taken out of his check. I would go after full custody but I know if I did him and his family would make my life hell. They are very vindictive and hateful people. Part of what he is doing to the kids is because he hates me and wants to cause me as much pain as possible and one way to do that is through my kids.


Quoting Allinorder:

I would take your child to counseling. Split ups are hard in kids. When we were with my parents and dh had to come home and spend the night the kids were asking about him. That was one night away your kids it's been a week and a half. I feel bad for your kids that sucks that the ex puts drugs and woman ahead of them. I would go to the welfare office and get child support taken out. I would find a lawyer and get the scumbag good.

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jenking04
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 6:28 AM
The visitation has been in place for almost 3 years.


Quoting frndlyfn:

It has only been a week and a half so yes the children are probably confused about what is going on . When was the visitation set up?  He may be too busy being a free agent and acting like the top dog of world to actually care about anyone else.   If he doesnt hold up to the visitations, just carry on as you would on a typical day.


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jenking04
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 6:31 AM
I told my son that I will do whatever I can to give them the best life they both deserve and that we will become stronger as a family in the end after we all heal from the pain he has caused us all.


Quoting marinewife55:

Trust me, I've been separated for 2.5 years and stbxdh has done unthinkable things to me in the past five years, some things I don't even share, so I understand why you're angry...and my ex is a horrible father as well, however it feels sooo much better when you let the anger go, its better for you and better for your kids...the few times a year that my stbxdh sees my dd though his visitation is every Saturday, he tells my dd that I don't love her and I keep her away from him and her mom is a bitch, all that, however it doesn't phase her because she feels stable with me and she knows everything is okay at home...kids feel tension and anger and it causes them to act out due to not feeling secure...as hard as it is, you just have to focus on giving ur children the happiest best life you can and not be concerned with their father...it feels a lot better when you do that

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