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Hubby dont want me to do it!

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:27 AM
  • 16 Replies
1 mom liked this

I grew up without my dad in my life for the most part. If he was around, he was drunk and then would disappear again for a few years. Well, my dad is sick now, I let shit go, and I help my youngest sister care for him.

Well, my SS is in the same boat, kinda. His mom and my dh never had a relationship persay, 6 months of screwing and partying and then they broke up. Now, my dh does what is right by his son. He pays support, gets him for his weekends ALWAYS, sometimes more than that, and is an awesome dad.

I got to thinking how great it would be if I had a pic of my mom and dad together. Not a wedding pic or one that made it look lie they were a cople, just of them standing side by side the two people who gave me life. Then I though maybe SS would like the same thing. I didnt want him to be 40 yrs old and wanting a pic, like I am now.

So, I asked dh if BM had any pics of them together when they were going out. He said no, he didnt think so. So I tell him I would like to get a quick pic of them when she comes to get him sunday afternoon. Then I wanted to give it to SS for Xmas. Dh flatly and adamently kept saying no, aint gonna happen, he didnt want it to happen.

I asked why not. He used the comparrision of my son, if he did they same for my son. I told dh, my son is blessed. He remembers his father and I married. He also has tons of pics of us together. Granted its our life as it was then, but still.

So, I told dh I would not take the pic, but I am sad about it. I am looking past bullshit for the sake of a kid whose parents never were really a couple. (SS only knows his dad being with me)

A part of me wants to defy Dh and take it anyway, but I really dont want waves in house. What would you do?

by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LoveMyLos
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:35 AM
Id do it anyways...its for ss, not him.
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momdoes
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:37 AM


Quoting LoveMyLos:

Id do it anyways...its for ss, not him.

I thought the same thing o myself. Dh is thinkig how the pic makes him feel, not how it would make his son feel. I have a few more weekends of getting SS to try and talk him into tho I guess.

LoveMyLos
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 7:39 AM
1 mom liked this
Just do it. He will get over it. Explain to him not everything is about him!

Quoting momdoes:



Quoting LoveMyLos:

Id do it anyways...its for ss, not him.

I thought the same thing o myself. Dh is thinkig how the pic makes him feel, not how it would make his son feel. I have a few more weekends of getting SS to try and talk him into tho I guess.

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PestPatti
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 8:37 AM


  Why not figure out of way to have 2 seperate pictures fuzed into 1.  My dad has a picture of his parents, that were taken from their passport pictures..  And its in black and white.

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:30 AM
Maybe do a collage that has pictures of both, just not together. You can great collages at Walgreens (in store or online). They're cheap, easy to do and usually ready in an hour.
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grey7399
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:40 AM

You're trying to create a fairytale for no real good reason.  They weren't a real couple.  They were fk buddies.  What exactly is the kid supposed to get out of the picture?  Why not a picture of his REAL parents?  You & his dad and his mother and whoever she is with?

Ktina11
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:43 AM
This!!


Quoting grey7399:

You're trying to create a fairytale for no real good reason.  They weren't a real couple.  They were fk buddies.  What exactly is the kid supposed to get out of the picture?  Why not a picture of his REAL parents?  You & his dad and his mother and whoever she is with?


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AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:51 AM

Although I think your intentions are sweet, I'm on your husband's side here. If, as an adult, your ss wants a picture of them, he can ask; at a young age a picture may be confusing and he may believe there is still a chance of them getting back together or any number of issues.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosey, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child. I believe that my "place" is in the home caring for my husband and children. My husband is head of our home and I *love* my life! (just getting the controversial stuff out of the way!)             Aimee












kansasmom1978
by on Nov. 24, 2012 at 10:53 AM

When i first married dh his ex wife was a complete bitch, she still is. She tried to turn ss against us, even though he lived with us. She dragged us into court to only have the judge pretty much tell her off. When we were packing to move about  a year later i found a box of pictures of the x bitch. I did not think of ss or the futre. I threw them away. I did not want anything of her in my house. Now ss is 16 and I kind of regret doing it. But he does not even want to see his mom. 

AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 11:06 AM

If both bio parents are against this, I'm not sure how anyone could advise her to do it.

Quoting LoveMyLos:

Just do it. He will get over it. Explain to him not everything is about him!

Quoting momdoes:



Quoting LoveMyLos:

Id do it anyways...its for ss, not him.

I thought the same thing o myself. Dh is thinkig how the pic makes him feel, not how it would make his son feel. I have a few more weekends of getting SS to try and talk him into tho I guess.


I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosey, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child. I believe that my "place" is in the home caring for my husband and children. My husband is head of our home and I *love* my life! (just getting the controversial stuff out of the way!)             Aimee












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