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I think my mom is crazy- OMG she just did it again!! only worse!!! thats it

or at least has the mind of a 15 yr old or something.    I have been told for years by close friends and DH that my mom is nuts and a very negative influence on my life but well she's my mom so I ignored it.  However, it seems everyone was right.    As a mom I am so proud of every accomplishment my kids achieve.  My mom is not.   I started a very successful cleaning busines a yr ago and instead of being happy her first comment was " remember you cant go through peoples drawers"    Really mom?  you know because apparently I have a habit of that and didn't know it?   Her next was " dont ignore the IRS" again really?  I am so stupid?     Then, I got a kidney stone and she said it was because I was working too hard.  I bought a new house ( by myself DH is in school)  she said  "dont get to big for your britches now"  what?    DD is making straight A's in highschool and I was excited about it, her comment was "well she doesn't go to public school so its probably easier"  she goes to private school that is rated # 4 in the nation for college preparedness.      My mom slapped me a lot when I was a kid, and I said I would never slap my children and her comment was "wait until they become teens" well DD is 16 and never been slapped, her response was "well your just a better mother than me" and she said it very sarcastically.     I could go on and on and on but its long enough.  Is it me?  Or does she sound like a jealous teenager?    BTW I have not thrown this is in her face like she claims I have just been happy with things and wanted to tell my mom.     

OMG She just pulled another one, she called to get my address to send kids Christmas presents ( she does give presents to the kids) and DD 16 answered and jokingly said "what are you getting me for Christmas?" and my mother ( now tell me shes not crazy) said " a little N!$@er doll"  I will not say that horrible word so i hope you can figure it out.   My DD said "here's mom" and gave me the phone and wrote what she said.  I told her that was horribly innappropriate and wrong and she said " fine they aren't getting anything" and hung up.  Thats it we are done never again.

by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Replies (11-20):
Treymama
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:41 PM
I feel the same way about my mom. Neither her or my sister or brother work. My brother is on disability and lives with my mom in the house I own. (I do not live there) and my sister does not work and lives off state assistance. I am the only one that works and I went to school graduated from college and make decent money and my husband works as well. They are never happy for me about anything. They make rude comments about my money and what I spend it on. I do have more then they do and my boys do have more then their kids but I work to make that money. It is not my fault they don't have money and blame me for not wanting to pay their bills. It is terrible. It's a constant fight with them.

So I know how you feel. It sucks because it is my mom and I do love her. Her shit is just impossible to handle and I am to the point where I can no longer tell her about anything really going on in my life. Or my kids. She always manages to throw it in my face how my nephew isn't getting the same treatment. Or some bullshit like that. Well I'm not his mother he has one it is my job to take care of myself and my children. They need to grow up and get their shit together. I believe it is jealousy.
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monkeyrhea
by Bronze Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:42 PM
My mother is that way. She talks me up to her friends to make herself seem like a good mom, but she never has anything nice to say. Add on drug addiction to that and she is a real peach. I finally cut ties with her a year and a half ago and it has been wonderful!
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BewitchedKisses
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:42 PM


Quoting Lordgodempress:


Quoting BewitchedKisses:

Just stop talking to her. 

If your mom is like that, she isn't worth your time. Not talking to your mom is a lot easier than most people think. You just have to be strong and not let her poison you or your children.


yeah I think thats what I'm going to have to do,  we live 2 states away and I'm the one who has always reached out but I dont think I willl do it anymore.

Then it should be even easier to stop talking to her. I live 600 miles from my mom. When she starts to be like that to me. I just stop calling her for a while. She gets it, and then corrects her behavior. I have no tolorance for people like that in my life.

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Lordgodempress
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:43 PM


Quoting Treymama:

I feel the same way about my mom. Neither her or my sister or brother work. My brother is on disability and lives with my mom in the house I own. (I do not live there) and my sister does not work and lives off state assistance. I am the only one that works and I went to school graduated from college and make decent money and my husband works as well. They are never happy for me about anything. They make rude comments about my money and what I spend it on. I do have more then they do and my boys do have more then their kids but I work to make that money. It is not my fault they don't have money and blame me for not wanting to pay their bills. It is terrible. It's a constant fight with them.

So I know how you feel. It sucks because it is my mom and I do love her. Her shit is just impossible to handle and I am to the point where I can no longer tell her about anything really going on in my life. Or my kids. She always manages to throw it in my face how my nephew isn't getting the same treatment. Or some bullshit like that. Well I'm not his mother he has one it is my job to take care of myself and my children. They need to grow up and get their shit together. I believe it is jealousy.

I guess the biggest thing for me is that I do not understand being jealous of your own child.    it doesnt make sense to me.    My mom and stepdad both work and make plenty of money but cant pay their bills ever.     It just doesnt make sense.

flowerfunleah
by Gold Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this

I think your mom is upset that you're doing better than her in life. I actually find this to be a common fear of mothers of daughters, that their daughters will grow up more successful than they were or prettier or richer or whathaveyou, your mother's snide comments and actions are her way of dealing with her jealousy.

When things get rough or bad for you in life does she seem more helpful for happy?

Lordgodempress
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:46 PM


Quoting monkeyrhea:

My mother is that way. She talks me up to her friends to make herself seem like a good mom, but she never has anything nice to say. Add on drug addiction to that and she is a real peach. I finally cut ties with her a year and a half ago and it has been wonderful!

My mom actually talks bad about me to her brothers sisters in law.  They wont talk to me at all anymore because they are convinced I dont work and alway borrow money but wont believe them when i say my mom owes me money, I have never borrowed from her.  Oh yeah and according to her I get foodstamps ( which I haven't gotten for years and years since I was 23 or so).    If my mom was on drugs it would explain more lol.

piwife
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:47 PM
My mom has issues too.... private school is way harder then public
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Lordgodempress
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:47 PM

 

Quoting flowerfunleah:

I think your mom is upset that you're doing better than her in life. I actually find this to be a common fear of mothers of daughters, that their daughters will grow up more successful than they were or prettier or richer or whathaveyou, your mother's snide comments and actions are her way of dealing with her jealousy.

When things get rough or bad for you in life does she seem more helpful for happy?

no, then she berates me for making bad choices.      Also, I dont understand that mentality, if my daughters are more successful then me I would be so proud and bragging no one would want to be around me lol.

K_D88
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 1:54 PM

 Yes they do.  My mom is an alcoholic. She is also irresponsible with her money. She would rather spend her money going on trips instead of paying her bills.  She is ok sometimes but she is always saying hurtful things.  I try to maintain a relationship with my mom. For my children's sake mainly.  My dad has been out of my life for 16 years. I have no contact with him nor do I intend to.  If my mom ever becomes toxic to my children, I will pull the plug. That will be the end of it.  She was toxic to me growing up.  We do not have a close relationship. 

Quoting Lordgodempress:

 

Quoting K_D88:

 My mom is like that I always assumed maybe she was bi-polar...


I thought and correct me if I'm wrong but dont people with bi polar disorder have mood swings and go through manic phases?  My mom is always like that, her mood doesnt change at all.

 

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TJandKarasMom
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 2:03 PM

I'm preparing to cut ties with my mom, she sounds like yours in many ways.  She has never been proud of me or approved of things I do.  I'm never good enough and that's how I feel when I leave her house.  I'm looking for a therapist because I know it is such an unhealthy relationship, but I am still having trouble letting it go.  I would suggest therapy for you too.  It's amazing what parents can do to their children that can affect them as adults.

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