Living separately?

[babyspots17]

Has anyone ever lived separately from their spouses? I am seriously considering moving with my children back to my home town to help out my dad. If anyone has how did your relationship handle it, how did your children handle it? We are still discussing it at this point but would just like to here other people's opinions/ stories. Would you ever consider living some where without your dh/so?

[JennyCaps]

Dh is military so we periodically live apart. Hasn't been an issue with us at all. If one of my parents needed help I know dh would tell me to go take care of them. That's how we are though.

[smalltowngal]

When my father passed away, I lived with my Mom afterwards for a month. My husband visited me once during that time. We didn't have kids yet. Hubby wasfine with it and I was able to help my mother adust. 

[LanasMommy0504]

I lived with my parents in their tiny 2 bedroom place. DD had a bed to sleep in but the room didn't have a door so she pretty much wouldn't fall asleep until every one else went to bed. I slept on the futon in the living room. My parents only had one car and my dad took it to go to work every day so we couldn't go anywhere. DH was also still working every day so between that and the time difference between Hawaii and Tennessee it made communicating difficult.

Quoting babyspots17:

What was so difficult? Did you live with family or have your own place?

Quoting LanasMommy0504:

I moved home to TN with DD while DH stayed behind in Hawaii when we thought we would be PCS'ing soon. We thought it would be easier for him to supervise our house being packed out without DD being around. She was almost 2 then. It ended up being for a little over 2 months and was pure hell. He even flew to visit us in TN for a week during that time. I think that just made it worse. We swore after that we'd never voluntarily leave each other again.

[pasteeater]

We lived 900 miles apart for eighteen month. we're doing ok.

[redvelvet42]

sometimes you have to

i lived with my husband for years. but currently i live in northern virginia and he lives in washington dc. we had problems but neither wanted a divorce. this living arrangement was negotiated with the help of a religious leader to maintain familial relationship, but give space, and prevent a divorce whic was agreed would be more detrimental to the children.

he spends more time with the children now than he every did when we lived under the same roof. go figure.

maybe you need to look at how far will hubby be from you? can you to have date nights and family nights? and make sure he knows he still has to maintain finances for you and your children. you have to remember that he still needs to be involved in decisions involving the children if you move away with them that way he does not feel like yo don't have regard for his opinions and feelings.

[Love.My.Soldier]

My husband is gone a lot, currently deployed, and we go weeks without communication. I think our marriage is very strong. It can work but it takes commitment.

[myhandsomelove]

That's what we are doing right now, we've had issues and we are trying to move forward and make it work. And this is actually doing some good, there's no constant fighting or arguing about him being on the phone or with who (reason for issues) it's not ideal and it doesn't work for everyone but it does for us right now. Lovin misses him, but he still comes over everyday and we do stuff together they also get in their "man time" Do what feels right and will work for you and your family. :-)

[FL2AK]

We lived apart for months at a time when my husband was in the military and we did it again last year when we moved for a few months. We did just fine.

[OrientalLily]

My s/o and I live apart. We were having a lot of relationship issues. This has been the best thing for us.

[QueenBee107]

seeing how your mom had a major stroke and may not have very long in terms of years left I would do it. if for some reason it don't work out you can go back home. everyone is difference. my aunt her boyfriend is in FL right now for work. She is up here in VA. he was in FL for 5 months earlier this year. She is moving down to FL at the end of Jan to join him. it seems to be working for them. 

Now my DH tried to be an on the road trucker and he couldn't handle being away from home and the kids. my husband who is very laid back and rarely gets upset was calling me crying and about had a breakdown. I had to drive 500+ miles to Ohio to pick him up before he did have a breakdown. he scared the crap out of me.