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It has been almost 2 weeks sence the kids and I have moved out of my EX's place and he has not attempted to see the kids or even asked to see the kids. He will send a text to my son but thats about it. I see the pain in there eyes when they realize that their father walked out of their lives.I do my best to help them through this and hope that one day i can make the pain go away but i know i cant. Neither one of my kids will listen to me i will spank their butts put them in time out and nothing helps. Even my parents have been trying and still nothing. They have so much anger towards me and i'm not the one that broke up this family he is. I told me son that i wish his dad would see him but he wont return my text or calls because he is mad at me for something i had nothing to do with. Sometimes i wonder if maybe i put them up for adoption and they got put in to a two parent home they would be better off. But then just thinking that makes me feel like a horrible mom. I love my kids more than anything in the world and they are all i have left in the world. But the anger i feel from them and the hatred i feel breaks my heart and makes me cry. I dont know what to do anymore. I'm pretty much at my witts end right now. Any advice??

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by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:42 PM
Replies (21-30):
strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 11:14 PM
Screw him if they wanna call he will just have to get more mins ugh men

Quoting jenking04:

They can't call him cause he has a pay as you go phone and asked that they don't call him. But he will text my son every once in awhile.




Quoting strictmomhere:

Remind them you both love them very much and hes really busy let them call him if thry want:(

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jenking04
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:43 AM


Quoting strictmomhere:

Screw him if they wanna call he will just have to get more mins ugh men

Quoting jenking04:

They can't call him cause he has a pay as you go phone and asked that they don't call him. But he will text my son every once in awhile.




Quoting strictmomhere:

Remind them you both love them very much and hes really busy let them call him if thry want:(

I think its is way of avoiding the fact that he has kids. I'm sure he doesnt want his new GF knowing what a dead beat father he is.

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needadvice1983
by Bronze Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:35 AM
Kids don't always understand the whys of parents divorice. All they know is YOU moved them away from the home they knew. Also you are the only parent they have around to direct their anger towards. When my parents divorced my brother blamed ME because my dad molested me. He thought I was lying to cause and didn't have the full story of what my father did to me. My mom wouldn't allow me to tell him because she didn't want it to ruin the relationship my dad and brother had. When we were older I did tell him the full truth. I still don't think e completely believes me. But even in my dad hadnt done that to me my parents would have seperated. They were in a very unhappy marriage and were only staying together for us kids. But my bother couldn't see that. All he saw was the family he knew was no longer together and he places blame where it didn't belong. Good luck and try and understand your kids whole world just fell apart. There is going to be a period of adjustment while they deal with their feelings.
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Noobroob
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:54 AM
My question is why the breakup? You did something to make your ex not want to return your texts or calls. Most men will ignore the kids trying to ignore the spouse because of hatred or resentment to the wife. Why not employed before you moved out? If you love your kids as you say you do , one must provide for them.
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1likeme
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 1:01 PM
Their anger won't last forever. In the mean time you should always understand where the behavior is coming from but punish them for it at the same time. What helped my children was talking with them about positive ways to express their feelings and negative ways. I also took my kids in for some family counseling. We all went for about a year. My children felt heard and I learned some new ways of managing their negative behavior. Just hang in there because with consistent discipline as well as positive reinforcement and love they really do get over the worst of it quickly.
kriss1023
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 1:14 PM
You know, he's not angry at you. He's just angry and you are the closest one to take it out on. He's seeing how far he can push you and if you will leave also. Just reassure him. Tell him you love him and will listen when he wants to talk. You can't control your ex, but sooner or later your son will start to adjust and understand the best he can. You just have to be understanding to the fact that this kids world was torn apart and he feels out of control. It will get better.
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othermom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 1:18 PM

It has only been two weeks, it will take a while to adjust and they will probably misbehave for a while. Definatly work on correcting it and maybe look in to counsling for them and for you. Thinking about putting them up for adoption would be a rough thing to do and very hard for them.

jenking04
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 4:05 PM


Quoting Noobroob:

My question is why the breakup? You did something to make your ex not want to return your texts or calls. Most men will ignore the kids trying to ignore the spouse because of hatred or resentment to the wife. Why not employed before you moved out? If you love your kids as you say you do , one must provide for them.

He broke up with me. He said it was because i didnt py bills and my weight bothered him. But come to find out he was cheating on me again. I paid some bills i paid for the ell phones and bought food for the house paid for the gas in my car when he drove it. I have been looking for a job for over a year and still havent found anything. And the reason he wont return my text or calls is because he had a secrete that got out to his new GF and he thinks i'm the one that told his GF about his secrete when i had nothing to do with it and it wasnt even my number who sent her the text. This is his way of not being a father to my kids by blaming me for everything and then telling me he will never see the kids agsain and it is all my fault.

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jenking04
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 4:09 PM


Quoting PaiSho773:

You women need to start leaving all your kids with their father's, why take the burden on yourself? You didn't knock yourself up. I mean, why should their father all of a sudden become a bachelor and your out there struggling and trying to making everything ok? I think it's time you women grow some balls and just walk away, like the men do.

I would NEVER in a million years leave my kids alone with their druggie father or his druggie friends. But you are right guys have it wasier once they go through a break up or divorce they are free to do whatever they want cause they dont have the kids 24/7 like us moms do and they dont have to worry about struggling like we do either.

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loisl25
by Silver Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 4:18 PM

HUGS!

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