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I can't stand my mom. She just doesn't get anything anymore. She lives in a different state. She wants us to come visit but she doesn't understand how much it cost to travel now a days. She thinks just because we have more money than her we should be able to come just becuase she wants us to. ( my hubby works hard and dose lots of over time and we still live paycheck to paycheck most of the time and are finally starting to build a ok savings. She lives off child support and food stamps and in income based housing. So she doesn't even under stand the cost of living anymore either.) she feels as if I am keeping the kids from her. Which I'm not. If we where going other places then I could u dyer stand her saying that. But we have never gone on a vacation to anywhere. We didn't even go on a honeymoon. She is mad at me and always starts a fight when she calls. I don't even want to answer the phone anymore. She think that I should have come up a few months ago becuase my mamas died and left me $1000. But instead of spending it all at once I used it for getting the kids thier winter clothes paying bills and buying food. But when she got her half of her exes tax return she did not want to save any of it she wanted to spend it all at once. I just don't know what to do anymore.

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 2:54 PM


Quoting shyone_91786:

is she far far away or can you rent a car and drive, I would not say cut her out I mean she is your mom and misses you guys and I understand not having the money but it must be hard on her too especly if you guys use to see eachother all the time. I know if i were to move out of state my mom would do the same to me but i would not get pissy about it she is getting on in age so I expect her to act that way.

She is almost seven hundred miles away. I have a car and can drive but I don't have money for gas, hotels, and food. I lived with her till I was 18 and then moved out of state. Since then I have only seen her five times. We aren't real close never have been. My mom Isnt even 50 years old yet. I know she is my mom but she wasn't a very good one. I still love her because she gave me life. 

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 2:57 PM


Quoting Teacher101:

Send lots of pictures and cards.

Skype with her.

Put the kids on the phone....

There are lots of things you can do to make her feel connected.

I just ordered her a picture book and some prints of the kids and sent her for Christmas.

she doesn't know how to Skype or email or use a computer for that matter and she doesn't want to learn I've tried.

i let her talk to the kids when ever she wants but it's not enough for her. I haven't seen her in four and half years so she hasent met my son yet or seen my daughter since she was one and a half. 

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

shyone_91786
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 2:59 PM

oh ok I am sorry you have to go through this you are doing what you need to do for your family and sometimes it is hard but you have to do whats best and if that means no  and not answering her calls then so be it but do you think you could plan to save for a later date and visit or is it you just don't want to see her at all and just your brother, I know how it could be i did not want to meet my dad in person but now I kind of regret it because I never got a change to meet him before he died  I know it's not the same situation but when I started talking to my dad on the phone we did not get along.

Quoting ambermario4ever:


Quoting shyone_91786:

is she far far away or can you rent a car and drive, I would not say cut her out I mean she is your mom and misses you guys and I understand not having the money but it must be hard on her too especly if you guys use to see eachother all the time. I know if i were to move out of state my mom would do the same to me but i would not get pissy about it she is getting on in age so I expect her to act that way.

She is almost seven hundred miles away. I have a car and can drive but I don't have money for gas, hotels, and food. I lived with her till I was 18 and then moved out of state. Since then I have only seen her five times. We aren't real close never have been. My mom Isnt even 50 years old yet. I know she is my mom but she wasn't a very good one. I still love her because she gave me life. 


ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:27 PM

We are working on saving. We live paycheck to paycheck right now and are working on building a savings for emergencies. Then we will save money for trips but right now it is out of the question. She just doesn't under stand. She isn't responsible with what little money she has. She only has child support and food stamps and she still buys herself booze and cigs and she gets $500 at tax time from my brothers dad since she lets him claim him on his taxes. This year she wanted to send me all that money so I could come see her and she got mad when I wouldn't take it because it wasn't enough and I felt she should save it since my brother was about to start high school and was going to be doing marching band and take honors classes and my mom also needed work done on her teeth. She always complains she can't do anything for my brother for his birthday or Christmas but she blows her money instead of saving it. But I am the irresponsible one.

Quoting shyone_91786:

oh ok I am sorry you have to go through this you are doing what you need to do for your family and sometimes it is hard but you have to do whats best and if that means no  and not answering her calls then so be it but do you think you could plan to save for a later date and visit or is it you just don't want to see her at all and just your brother, I know how it could be i did not want to meet my dad in person but now I kind of regret it because I never got a change to meet him before he died  I know it's not the same situation but when I started talking to my dad on the phone we did not get along.

Quoting ambermario4ever:


Quoting shyone_91786:

is she far far away or can you rent a car and drive, I would not say cut her out I mean she is your mom and misses you guys and I understand not having the money but it must be hard on her too especly if you guys use to see eachother all the time. I know if i were to move out of state my mom would do the same to me but i would not get pissy about it she is getting on in age so I expect her to act that way.

She is almost seven hundred miles away. I have a car and can drive but I don't have money for gas, hotels, and food. I lived with her till I was 18 and then moved out of state. Since then I have only seen her five times. We aren't real close never have been. My mom Isnt even 50 years old yet. I know she is my mom but she wasn't a very good one. I still love her because she gave me life. 



toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 4:45 PM

BUMP!

Marimaru
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 5:24 PM

What about helping her pay for a visit to you?  You could look into a train or bus ticket maybe (which also makes sure the visit has an end date).

ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 6:32 PM


Quoting Marimaru:

What about helping her pay for a visit to you?  You could look into a train or bus ticket maybe (which also makes sure the visit has an end date).

I have looked into that but a train doesn't come here and she can not ride on a bus she has fibromyalgia and can not sit for long periods of time.

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

Mabuka
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:06 PM

Tell her you can't go. Tell her why. Then tell her that it's no longer up for discussion. If she keeps flapping her lips about it, say, "Sorry, there's nothing I can do. Gotta go." And hang up. I despise my mom; hate her with every fiber of my being. I'd say ditch her entirely but you seem opposed to that idea. You can still keep in touch with your little brother without dealing with your mother.

ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:11 PM


Quoting Mabuka:

Tell her you can't go. Tell her why. Then tell her that it's no longer up for discussion. If she keeps flapping her lips about it, say, "Sorry, there's nothing I can do. Gotta go." And hang up. I despise my mom; hate her with every fiber of my being. I'd say ditch her entirely but you seem opposed to that idea. You can still keep in touch with your little brother without dealing with your mother.

I did. I told her we can't come and why but she just keep on going. She doesn't care she only thinks of herself. I don't answer the phone most of the time when she calls cause I know she will most Likly start something. 

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

connie45
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:36 PM
Can you imagine "vacationing " in Section 8 housing?

No way.
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