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I can't stand my mom. She just doesn't get anything anymore. She lives in a different state. She wants us to come visit but she doesn't understand how much it cost to travel now a days. She thinks just because we have more money than her we should be able to come just becuase she wants us to. ( my hubby works hard and dose lots of over time and we still live paycheck to paycheck most of the time and are finally starting to build a ok savings. She lives off child support and food stamps and in income based housing. So she doesn't even under stand the cost of living anymore either.) she feels as if I am keeping the kids from her. Which I'm not. If we where going other places then I could u dyer stand her saying that. But we have never gone on a vacation to anywhere. We didn't even go on a honeymoon. She is mad at me and always starts a fight when she calls. I don't even want to answer the phone anymore. She think that I should have come up a few months ago becuase my mamas died and left me $1000. But instead of spending it all at once I used it for getting the kids thier winter clothes paying bills and buying food. But when she got her half of her exes tax return she did not want to save any of it she wanted to spend it all at once. I just don't know what to do anymore.

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Replies (31-39):
gammie
by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 11:00 AM

Be carful she may think she could move in with you, tell her now that is out of the question.! 


Quoting ambermario4ever:


Quoting gammie:

I go visit my daughter and Grandkids, your mother needs to understand how you feel, tell her to stop or you will not pick up the phone ! If she really wanted to see you see would do whatever she needs to do

She knows that ever time after she starts something that I won't answer the phone for a while. She called yesterday and I didn't answer. She left a voicemail complaing again that we need to come visit. You think she would do whatever to come see us but she won't. She is a selfish and lazy person. She hasent done for herself since my father died 24 years ago. She hasent worked or anything. She lived off my ss and her second husbands income till they got divorced. Then she lived off my ss and chill support till I turned 18. Now she is living off my brother child support. When he turns 18 she's screwed. She won't even try to take care of herself. I told her the other night that she needed to fiqure something out and make plan for how she will live when he turns 18 and she has no more money. She told me I was rude and disrespectful and that didn't care about her because I said that.


ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Dec. 1, 2012 at 11:32 AM

Oh she knows I'm not going to take care of her. Plus we don't have room for her. And she won't travel down here or have the money to do so and she knows I won't pay for it. We don't have the money to do so. She knows I am not found of her or her habits. She smokes and knows I don't allow that in my house. She will never live somewhere that she can't smoke inside. She also drinks and know I don't allow that in my house either. 

Quoting gammie:

Be carful she may think she could move in with you, tell her now that is out of the question.! 


Quoting ambermario4ever:


Quoting gammie:

I go visit my daughter and Grandkids, your mother needs to understand how you feel, tell her to stop or you will not pick up the phone ! If she really wanted to see you see would do whatever she needs to do

She knows that ever time after she starts something that I won't answer the phone for a while. She called yesterday and I didn't answer. She left a voicemail complaing again that we need to come visit. You think she would do whatever to come see us but she won't. She is a selfish and lazy person. She hasent done for herself since my father died 24 years ago. She hasent worked or anything. She lived off my ss and her second husbands income till they got divorced. Then she lived off my ss and chill support till I turned 18. Now she is living off my brother child support. When he turns 18 she's screwed. She won't even try to take care of herself. I told her the other night that she needed to fiqure something out and make plan for how she will live when he turns 18 and she has no more money. She told me I was rude and disrespectful and that didn't care about her because I said that.



toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

shoot4thestars
by Gold Member on Dec. 1, 2012 at 8:22 PM

I would stop answering the phone for a while.  Maybe she'll realize that being able to talk over the phone is better than nothing at all.

ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 12:47 AM


Quoting shoot4thestars:

I would stop answering the phone for a while.  Maybe she'll realize that being able to talk over the phone is better than nothing at all.

I do that all the time have for years. I will go for a month or two with out answer her calls. But she will still complain and then she will also say you never make time to call me or answer your phone. No matter what I do she finds something to complain about.

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

Reihldream
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:34 PM

Does she have a computer? This is when Skype would come in handy. I understand how you feel with you Mom, and cutting her out of your life is not an option. Why would you do that? You obviously would like to fix the problem so that you can call her without getting a guilt trip every time.  My suggestion is....next time you call her and she brings up the subject, calmly tell her that if you could take a trip anywhere in the world, visiting her is where you would go, but that it isn't possible right now.  If she still complains, tell her that she makes you feel guilty, and ask her if that is her intention.

ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:41 PM

My little brother has a computer that my mom can use. But she dose not know how to use and refuses to learn how. I have tried before. Ever time she brings this up i tell her we really would love to come but we can't at this time. I know it has been a long time since I have been back home and there are a lot of poeple i would like to see and places I would like to go. But she doesn't under stand. If she had the enough money at one time to give me so I could come up there she would even if then she would not be able to pay her bills becuase she is not responsible. No she just expects me to do the same. But I put my children first. I do with out all the time. And yes she loves to make me and her sisters as well feel guilty anytime she can. 

Quoting Reihldream:

Does she have a computer? This is when Skype would come in handy. I understand how you feel with you Mom, and cutting her out of your life is not an option. Why would you do that? You obviously would like to fix the problem so that you can call her without getting a guilt trip every time.  My suggestion is....next time you call her and she brings up the subject, calmly tell her that if you could take a trip anywhere in the world, visiting her is where you would go, but that it isn't possible right now.  If she still complains, tell her that she makes you feel guilty, and ask her if that is her intention.


toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

romanceparty4u
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Sounds like she wants a pity party for her own life choices putting her in a predicament where she can't see her grandkids. If she worked, she'd be able to come see them. If she spent her money wisely, she'd be able to come see them. Don't give her a pity party when she starts, tell her the road goes both ways, and she can feel free to make arrangements to come see you, anytime. Then end it--there. Hang up if you must.

ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 10:22 PM


Quoting romanceparty4u:

Sounds like she wants a pity party for her own life choices putting her in a predicament where she can't see her grandkids. If she worked, she'd be able to come see them. If she spent her money wisely, she'd be able to come see them. Don't give her a pity party when she starts, tell her the road goes both ways, and she can feel free to make arrangements to come see you, anytime. Then end it--there. Hang up if you must.

Oh I have. I have told her to get a job. Becuase I don't agree with the way she lives. She knows she can come here. But one she has no money two she won't fly, there are no trains that come from there to here and she says she can't ride a bus for that long and she does not have a car or license. I have told her when she dose have a little extra money that she needs to save it but she won't. She just spends it all at once. I feel bad for my brother cause he still lives with her as he is only 15. 

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

ambermario4ever
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:08 AM

BUMP!

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