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15 year old wants to move with dad

Posted by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:34 AM
  • 9 Replies
My son wants to live with his dad.im so hurt but at the same time I want him to go so he can really see how life will be over his dads full time. My ex has always been sneaky by serving me with papers for custody in trying to get my son to live with him. It's been such a roller coaster ride. My son is so disrespectful in I'm tired of his brother in sister seeing him act this way. My sons step mom complains about him to others who come back in tell me the things she says. ( how he disrespects how in how his dad lets him talk to her). I'm so tired of always being the bad guy. I've been called a bad mom n so many nasty things when I know I'm a good mom. This is what his dad has always wanted. I'm just praying my son realizes that life want be all its cracked up to be once he's living with dad n then I worry about him liking it in never coming back home :( at this point all I can do is pray. I'm really leaning towards letting him go when he's over there he never calls home n I'm thinkn that I should let him stay for awhile he wants to go to dads let him feel the entire effects of living there. No tue n thurs but let him come home every other weekend n that's it. I want him to feel every effect of his decision don't to punish him but to WAKE him up. The grass isn't greener!!!!!
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by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:34 AM
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Replies (1-9):
momdoes
by Platinum Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:41 AM

at 15, he can make that choice on who to live with. Your reasons are valid tho and I agree with letting him go and see" exactly how it will be. It will be a fun and glory the first few months or so but if dad is any dad at all, he will wake up too and jump on board with getting his son to act right. (esp. when the new wifey is pissed all the time!)

I always feared my son saying he wanted to live with his dad and had in my head I would let him go if he ever said the word and hoped it would backfire and some hardheaded ppl wake up! But my son saw one day how his dad is living, realized it was not what he wanted and has hoose to stay with me;)

My son is now 18, still in HS (his last year) is talking to the State Highway Patrol about getting into this and that (he wants to be a trooper) and his future looks even brighter thanI had hoped two years ago!!!! Hang in there momma, teens have a way of surprising you.

Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:41 AM
At that age, boys really need their dads (not saying they don't need mom too but dad more so).
If its really that bad, he'll come home. I would let him go, but I would be sure he knew he couldn't just bounce back and forth because he wasn't getting his way.
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lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:42 AM
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Let him go. When he decide he wants tl come back say no.then a month later invite him to meet and discuss house rules with you. If he can abide by them let him come back.make the rules clear and the punishments for breaking them even clearer. Write them into a contract and make him sign it.
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Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:43 AM
This is a good idea!


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Let him go. When he decide he wants tl come back say no.then a month later invite him to meet and discuss house rules with you. If he can abide by them let him come back.make the rules clear and the punishments for breaking them even clearer. Write them into a contract and make him sign it.

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Peoverbs31
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 8:46 AM
Thanks guys for your quick replies I've been up all night ;( this has really been weighing heavy on me!!!!!! The advice I really appreciate n help put my heart n mind a ease
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BrownEyedGirl86
by Platinum Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 9:00 AM
I just hope that whatever you decide Judy realize that your child can't learn to bounce bak and forth btwn homes whenever he gets peeved from someone in the current home he's living in.
I just hope you and your ex or his wife if she is easier to talk to, can come to an agreement as to what happens
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Peoverbs31
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 4:07 PM
I packed him up a few hours ago in let him know this will always be his home but I will not accept disrespect n any way!!!! In I love him very much n always will. But sometimes it's best to let a child see what he's really asking for. Fingers cross knees bent in praying that this was all for the best in god will reveal all the things I need him to. So that my teen can see clearer!
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Amy12380
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 4:49 PM
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My case was not as severe as all of the negativity that seems to be going on in your situation but at about the same age I went to live with my father.  My decision was more because my mother was too overprotective of me.  I had never been a bad kid or lied about anything or where I was going, she just wouldn't really let me do anything.  I believe this is just a stage in a teens life that they want more control and as you say, they think the "grass will be greener".  One of the reasons it took me so long to leave my mothers is because I knew she would be heart broken, thinking I felt less love for her or something.  Maybe if you talk to him and give it a trial period.  Come to an agreement of sorts.  Give him your blessing and let him know that you are going to miss him and would like him to keep more in contact than he normally does when he is there.  

I agree that it will probably be better for your other children also because I'm sure they don't like to see your son make you upset.  Sounds like his step mom is a gem as well and maybe he needs to see how good he really has it with you when another "mom" tries to put him in his place.  Good luck and God bless!

texassahm
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 5:06 PM
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You love him more than your ex, but he loves you both equally.  That being said, maybe it's time for his dad to have more responsibilities. Your ex will either end up with empathy for the challenging job you've had all this time, or he might actually straighten up your boy.  Kids need both their mom and their dad - maybe it's a good thing that he moves with his dad - it could just be that he needs more from a male than from a female right now.  OR your son just might learn how good he has it and learn a new appreciation for you.

Don't look at it as a bad thing - there are many aspects to this that could end up benefiting you and your son.  (((HUGS)))

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