Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Do you think women can have it all?

Posted by   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Do you think women can have it all?

Options:

Yes.

No.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 310

View Results

Is this really possible, or are we chasing something unattainable? Share your thoughts in the comments.

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:07 AM
Replies (181-190):
davnrori
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:30 PM

 Everyone has their own version of 'having it all'. Whether that means being a great mom, a great employee, a successful business owner, or what-have-you, as long as a woman is happy with where she is in life and where she's going, that's all that matters. Being a woman doesn't change the definition of 'happy'. 

SpiritedWitch
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this

No, because we have to sacrifice something and that something is usually us ... our health mostly. Women are more inclined to put themselves (health, wants, needs, etc) on the back burner to make sure their familiy has everything they need or want. 

kelliewhitney
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 3:43 PM

Nope.

I work while my kids are in school or at night (my schedule varies). DH is with the kids while I am working. Do I theoretically have it all? Sure. What am I missing out on? SLEEP!

Here's a typical day: leave for work at 4 and work until at least midnight. Come home and catch a few hours of sleep. Wake up at 6 to get the kids ready for school, make breakfast, etc. Walk them to school, spend time with the toddler, and do chores and errands. If I am lucky, I'll get a nap for 30 minutes. Pick the kids up from school, supervise the start of homework, take a shower, then go to work again. I have missed out on entire semester's worth of scouting, karate and sports.

I only work because my family likes to eat.

waffa
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:27 PM

interesting... it's a regular word in my vocabulary, but I'm a bookkeeper so "prioritize" is how I get thru my work days tracking over 300 properties.

yeah, I get what you mean; what is important to us before marriage, after, no kids/with kids, then on to grandparents, we all redefine what is important to us. part of growing up and older I guess.

as an old friend of mine once said 'women are like the tide; they may be regular, but everything left is forever changed' never really got what he meant (are we tidal waves or destructive or what???), but that just popped in my head

Quoting ninipanini:

 I suppose 'hate' is a strong word.

I just think it's overused, you hear it all the time in political rhetoric, business, civics. 

But, once we redefine what's important and what 'having it all' means to us personally, it's not impossible.

Quoting waffa:

not bashing, but why would you hate the word priority? just curious.

Quoting ninipanini:

 i think you can se tyour priorities low enough that you can have everything that is a priority

btw, i also hate the word priority but it's the only one I can think of to communicate in this instance


 


ninipanini
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:12 AM

See, now that is a specific use for that word that makes perfect sense. I think a lot of people throw it around gratuitously.  My boss says it a lot on what projects and grants get "Priority".  It changes hourly, LOL.

 LOL, destructive or what.

Maybe he means:

You know when the tide is coming in and going out, but after it goes out, it has changed the entire shoreline, taking things with it and leaving things that weren't there.

So rather than destructive, maybe he means we're messy?  LOL

Quoting waffa:

interesting... it's a regular word in my vocabulary, but I'm a bookkeeper so "prioritize" is how I get thru my work days tracking over 300 properties.

yeah, I get what you mean; what is important to us before marriage, after, no kids/with kids, then on to grandparents, we all redefine what is important to us. part of growing up and older I guess.

as an old friend of mine once said 'women are like the tide; they may be regular, but everything left is forever changed' never really got what he meant (are we tidal waves or destructive or what???), but that just popped in my head

Quoting ninipanini:

 I suppose 'hate' is a strong word.

I just think it's overused, you hear it all the time in political rhetoric, business, civics. 

But, once we redefine what's important and what 'having it all' means to us personally, it's not impossible.

Quoting waffa:

not bashing, but why would you hate the word priority? just curious.

Quoting ninipanini:

 i think you can se tyour priorities low enough that you can have everything that is a priority

btw, i also hate the word priority but it's the only one I can think of to communicate in this instance

 

 

 

 

jen2150
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:58 PM

I have all I want and that is enough for me.    You spend the most time on those things that are important to you.  Family for me always comes first.

searcher11
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 10:59 AM

We can have it all over our lifespan, just not all at the same time.  Those who claim to "have it all" at the same time just are not giving credit to the other people in their lives who help them keep the balls in the air, to keep the juggling act going.

kelliewhitney
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 5:21 PM

You cannot have it all at the same time. Just not possible.

My DH is home with the kids now (for many reasons), and I work full time. Some days, I work during the day. I get the kids ready for school and then go to work and get home after dinner time. Some days, I work closing, so I leave around dinner time and get home around 2am (and still have to get up at 6am to get everyone ready for school).

During the days when I close, I do whatever chores I can during the day (as well as care for the toddler), then leave for work just before dinner.  This means that I miss homework time and activities nearly all the time, and I really miss the time with the kiddos. They miss me as well. I also miss sleeping!

I miss being a stay-at-home mom. It was way harder than working outside of the house, but at least I had a single set of priorities.

Being a full-time employeee and also trying to be a full-time mom is impossible unless you can survive on 4-6 hours of sleep a night. Work: 8-10 hours. Travelling to work: 1 hour.  Taking the kids to and from school: 30 minutes. Chores/errands/cooking/dishces: 3 hours (minimum). Laundry for a family of 5, all of whom have activities: at least 30 minutes per day. Spending time with the kids: hopefully 3 hours. Add in time for silly things like eating and bathing, and you have a full day. More than a full day. 

I'll sleep when my kids are grown. When your schedule is "flexible" (meaing that one day you work until 2am and the next you start at 11am) it is even worse. Your sleep cycles are completely out of whack, and you never really get a good rest. Ever. If you get home at 2am, its not like you can just hop into bed. It takes time to unwind. So, you wind up going to sleep at 3am and waking up at 6am to get all of the kids ready for school. If you are lucky, you don't need to go to work until 10 am or so, and you may be able to rest for an hour before getting ready.

As far as the very uplifting comment that you can have whatever you wish for if you are willing to work for it...that is a lovely sentiment, but when your DH is unemployed and disabled (of course we did not plan for that!), you are working for a low wage and have 3 kids, and he can't really help out with many chores or errands, sometimes you simply must just suck it up and admit that your situation blows and you need to do what is necessary to survive.

Despite the best-laid plans, life can throw you a shitty pitch. You can try to hit it, or take the ball and walk to first. I know that in real life, there are very few "walks," so I am trying to hit that dang ball as well as I can. If my bases were loaded, I would take a walk. However, it is the bottom of the ninth, and we are down 5-4, thre is one out and 2 strikes. There is a man on third. I am NOT going to sit back and let a questionable pitch go by if I know I can still hit it and get the guy on third home. I'll take the sacrifice bunt and tie the game, That will never make me a superstar, but it will help my team (my family).

forsakenjewl24
by Bronze Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 5:52 PM

having it all determines on the person. i have my family a house and a few nice things. which is having it all in my eyes. others may be different. we all may have stress but i do have it all. so yes women can have it all. just depends on their definition of  what "all" is

celticgodess
by on Dec. 16, 2012 at 1:18 PM

Depends on your definition of "all"  I feel like I have it all despite living paycheck to paycheck, not being near my family, and other things someone else might think too important to say thay have it al

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)