Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

If your kids were left out, would you still buy presents for theirs?

Posted by   + Show Post
Backstory: me and my fiance have been together two years, so one year last Christmas. He has been a part of my kids life since they were under a year for the youngster and under three years for my oldest.

Last Christmas we went to his moms families Christmas party. They do a white elephant except for the little kids who get gifts from everyone. We got gifts for the three little girls (art easel, art supplies and paper). When the time came to open gifts my kids (2 and 3 years at that time) did not get anything and watched while all the other kids opened presents and played with their new toys.

So my question is this year, do I buy presents for the little girls again even though my kids for left out? And would you be bothered by this or do you think that's normal? I was raised where anyone who was there got presents so I found it rude that not a single person even thought of my kids who they knew would be there.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 3:58 PM
Replies (41-50):
PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:18 PM

If the party is at his moms house then she should lay down the law with the rest of the family that your kids better not be left out!

Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

His parents just didn't bring anything because we do a Christmas thing with them on actual Christmas. His mom was really mad that her family left them out too because she calls them her grandkids and she feels like they just left them out. And it was hard, my kids didn't understand why they had nothing.


Quoting jujubear1:

 What mich.el.le said.  I'd turn the other cheek on this one, but I know that had to be hard for you as a mom to see your kids get nothing.  I'd take them something small to open just in case.  Maybe have df ask his mom this year beforehand so she doesn't forget.



HIJKLM
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:18 PM
Personally I would still get them something. It's not the kids fault the adults suck. I would pack a few extra gifts for my kids incase they do it again though.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
saysmom
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:21 PM
1 mom liked this
I would call them and ask if the kids are exchanging gifts. Maybe that will give them the hint! I had a similar situation at my dads with my steps daughter! My dad and step mom had to pretty much raise her daughter because she is a piece if crap! So that little girl had a ton of presents and my daughter had one! They handed the other girl like 10 presents before my daughter got her one! She had the saddest look on her face and asked me if she had a present! And if course I'm expected to buy that girl something on top of all the gifts she gets! I had a talk with my dad and said I don't care how many age has but don't open all if them in front if my kids!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mommy4-27-08
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:26 PM
Last year it was at her sisters because she has two young girls (older than my two) and demanded we stay at her house and she would cook dinner... She ordered pizza, not even kidding you.


Quoting PinkButterfly66:

If the party is at his moms house then she should lay down the law with the rest of the family that your kids better not be left out!

Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

His parents just didn't bring anything because we do a Christmas thing with them on actual Christmas. His mom was really mad that her family left them out too because she calls them her grandkids and she feels like they just left them out. And it was hard, my kids didn't understand why they had nothing.





Quoting jujubear1:

 What mich.el.le said.  I'd turn the other cheek on this one, but I know that had to be hard for you as a mom to see your kids get nothing.  I'd take them something small to open just in case.  Maybe have df ask his mom this year beforehand so she doesn't forget.





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mommy4-27-08
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:29 PM
I considered this and I thought maybe I could just out presents in the car and then if my kids got stuff I would be like "oh, here is H and s's presents". If not then they could just stay in my car and I could donate them later. Honestly, their mom is totally bitchy and I would not be surprised at all if she specifically does not get them anything again this year. That is how she is.


Quoting AMR320:

Christmas is supposed to be about giving not receiving so yes I would still get something for them. It was rude that they did not include your kids. I would bring something extra for my kids just in case. How would you feel if they did include your kids this year and you didn't get anything for them?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bkwrmem
by Emily on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:35 PM

i'd still get the little girls gifts, i'd have a talk with your fiance about it to see if he can find out if your kids will be part of it and get a gift this year cause it hurt last year and if he wouldn't get an answer or a no i'd bring gifts for my kids with me.

JanuaryBaby06
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:49 PM

i'd make soemthing like cookies and get vcandy and give the kids each a little container (including your kids). or maybe have fiance say something or sit it out and if anyone asks why have the fiance say that you really didnt feel welcomed last year and that you and the kids didnt want to impose on yet another one of there Christmas get togethers and if you did that i wouldnt partake in the white elephant thing but i would still buy for the kids as a "im above this petty crap and you may be able to be callous to children but i cant" type of thing.

Marimaru
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:50 PM

I might just consider not going, honestly.  That's a pretty crappy thing to do for a 'family' Christmas party.  You can get her kids something unrelated to any party and then there's no awkward gift exchange moment where they don't give your kids anything.

Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

Last year it was at her sisters because she has two young girls (older than my two) and demanded we stay at her house and she would cook dinner... She ordered pizza, not even kidding you.


Quoting PinkButterfly66:

If the party is at his moms house then she should lay down the law with the rest of the family that your kids better not be left out!

Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

His parents just didn't bring anything because we do a Christmas thing with them on actual Christmas. His mom was really mad that her family left them out too because she calls them her grandkids and she feels like they just left them out. And it was hard, my kids didn't understand why they had nothing.





Quoting jujubear1:

 What mich.el.le said.  I'd turn the other cheek on this one, but I know that had to be hard for you as a mom to see your kids get nothing.  I'd take them something small to open just in case.  Maybe have df ask his mom this year beforehand so she doesn't forget.






nichole_erin
by Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:54 PM
1 mom liked this
I personally would not buy the kids gifts. If your children are not family enough to receive gifts from them, then they arent family enough to receive gifts from you. Eveyone else obviously has the other kids gifts covered, i wouldnt waste my time.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
EvilQueenMommy
by Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:11 PM

I wouldn't go, but if you have to, just bring gifts for your kids

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN