Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

found out the sex of the baby today!!! also discovered just how bad our finances are...**edit**

Posted by   + Show Post

so. had to go in to see my doctor today, had an ultrasound on fri, went to use dh's credit card to get gas, declined. thank god i went in to pay first, and thank god for small town business owners who know you. old man ackland filled my car and told me to pay him back later today, dh is in saskatoon so i was planning on getting some cash from him. 

on drive in to stoon i talked to my friend wes's mom who lives in town, she told me she would love to watch ds, and refused what i have been paying $120/wk, and said she would for $50/wk. so  phew that was one less worry. my sister R is staying at moms, and not coming out as previously planned. another less worry. 

but i have been in pain in my lower pelvic area for about a week now, and by the time we reached the city every bump in the road made me want to cry, it hurt so bad. get to the doctors, waddle in and had a chat with my doctor, he told me the ultrasound showed A BOY! ( i KNEW it!) and that my placenta is attached to the frontal wall of my uterus, just above my pelvic boney area, another wards, where it has been hurting. 

so he put me on sick leave, recommended i quit my employment asap, and made me a copy for boss and a copy for EI. huge reliefe, because i am honestly just so worn out it isn't funny.

anyways; went to meet DH at the A&W, ordered some food go to pay with debit "declined" moment of horror. we quickly cancel our order and leave, go back to the hotel where dh is staying while he is taking this week long course for his job. 

neither of us have ANY money until we get paid next friday. both of our accounts are at their line of credit limit, mine is -500 his is -1000. none of the credit cards are any good.


at this point i am stunned, just, stunned. we have never gotten to this point before. ended up having a very difficult discussion with him, made him call credit consolidation, and even brought up bankruptcy.

even though we are facing a small crisis, his response is "well what do you want me to do about it?" my god. i hate that answer. laoth it. it puts the responsability of figuring out a solution completely on me. 

my sister ended up emailing me $100 and i gave dh 50, kept 50 for gas, and headed home.

how am i supposed to be able to take sick leave without feeling like everything will fall apart? seriously worried about our future. dh has to take jan and feb off for schooling, at which time he will ALSO be on EI, which slashes out monthly income even more. 

65% of our income goes straight to paying down debt, about $800/mo goes to CREDIT CARDS. seriously? ugh! and $1500/mo for our cars ( which we need, and we owe more than they would sell for) $750/mo mortgage and insurance.  household bills about $600 mo. never mind gas and groceries. 

i left him in stoon feeling like the world is falling out under my feet in slow motion


then half hour ago he calls and tells me he reckons he can sell off the cattle he has and borrow from his parents or some fuckin thing, to pay off all the credit cards, then just pay his parents monthly. 

ok fine. he doesn't want to consolidate because it will ruin our credit. 

i'm just. i dont even know what to think right now.

**edit**

ok a few things; 1) turns out a few payments came out later than we expected, after we had gone grocery and christmas shopping, which is why his balance was zero. we were broke for about 4 days.

2) dh turned around and took out $ from a school trust fund for him, and payed off the credit cards. thank god we no longer have to worry about those, however he will be putting $ back into the trust fund monthly.

3) my doc put me on sick leave, worry about my placenta tearing away from the uerus or rupturing, i am now on EI, and will be able to start taking classes for my youth care worker cert in Feb. 

4) we won't be doing foster care, lol. that was a hair brained idea. and a not so good one *i can admit when i am wrong*

5) everything is going to be FINE. 

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:58 PM
Replies (11-20):
Fields456
by Sexy and I know it on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:23 PM
You should call and find out what both payoffs are. And doing anything to get your payments lowered is better than possibly losing both cars if y'all can't get out of this financial issue. We owe just under $30000
For dhs truck and his payment is $500 a month What kinda cars do y'all have and I am guessing the interest rate is really high?


Quoting D.O.E.:

it may be a bit less, but my payment is 330biweekly, his is about the same, and i am counting insurance into that payment, about $100 per car monthly. i would like to see if we can refinance, or trade in but right now any financial messing around is just freaking me out. i know in order to do a trade in, we have to trade in for something newer than what i have, a 2011, and we owe $30,000 on that, so thats a lot of negative equity.

Quoting Fields456:

That's what I was wondering. Might be time to trade them in or refinance at a lower interest rate for more reasonable payments


Quoting lovinglife0682:

I am sorry. Why in the world would you have car payments that total $1500





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Due9
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:25 PM
1 mom liked this

How are you going to afford another child? that must be really difficult

D.O.E.
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:35 PM

i honestly dont know the details. the oayments are deducted from dh's account automatically. trying to get him to be assertive financially is like pulling teeth. actually pulling teeth would be easier

Quoting Fields456:

You should call and find out what both payoffs are. And doing anything to get your payments lowered is better than possibly losing both cars if y'all can't get out of this financial issue. We owe just under $30000
For dhs truck and his payment is $500 a month What kinda cars do y'all have and I am guessing the interest rate is really high?


Quoting D.O.E.:

it may be a bit less, but my payment is 330biweekly, his is about the same, and i am counting insurance into that payment, about $100 per car monthly. i would like to see if we can refinance, or trade in but right now any financial messing around is just freaking me out. i know in order to do a trade in, we have to trade in for something newer than what i have, a 2011, and we owe $30,000 on that, so thats a lot of negative equity.

Quoting Fields456:

That's what I was wondering. Might be time to trade them in or refinance at a lower interest rate for more reasonable payments


Quoting lovinglife0682:

I am sorry. Why in the world would you have car payments that total $1500






D.O.E.
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:36 PM

well, we are in canada, so medical costs, i dont worry about, no matter what happens. so thank god for that. and i breastfeed and if we can get our shit together in the next 4 months we will be ok.

Quoting Due9:

How are you going to afford another child? that must be really difficult


Fields456
by Sexy and I know it on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:39 PM
Ya men can be such stubborn asses


Quoting D.O.E.:

i honestly dont know the details. the oayments are deducted from dh's account automatically. trying to get him to be assertive financially is like pulling teeth. actually pulling teeth would be easier

Quoting Fields456:

You should call and find out what both payoffs are. And doing anything to get your payments lowered is better than possibly losing both cars if y'all can't get out of this financial issue. We owe just under $30000

For dhs truck and his payment is $500 a month What kinda cars do y'all have and I am guessing the interest rate is really high?





Quoting D.O.E.:

it may be a bit less, but my payment is 330biweekly, his is about the same, and i am counting insurance into that payment, about $100 per car monthly. i would like to see if we can refinance, or trade in but right now any financial messing around is just freaking me out. i know in order to do a trade in, we have to trade in for something newer than what i have, a 2011, and we owe $30,000 on that, so thats a lot of negative equity.

Quoting Fields456:

That's what I was wondering. Might be time to trade them in or refinance at a lower interest rate for more reasonable payments



Quoting lovinglife0682:

I am sorry. Why in the world would you have car payments that total $1500









Posted on CafeMom Mobile
D.O.E.
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:41 PM
1 mom liked this

i kind of hate him sometimes. sometime i hate all men equally. except my doctor, he can do no wrong. 

Quoting Fields456:

Ya men can be such stubborn asses


Quoting D.O.E.:

i honestly dont know the details. the oayments are deducted from dh's account automatically. trying to get him to be assertive financially is like pulling teeth. actually pulling teeth would be easier

Quoting Fields456:

You should call and find out what both payoffs are. And doing anything to get your payments lowered is better than possibly losing both cars if y'all can't get out of this financial issue. We owe just under $30000

For dhs truck and his payment is $500 a month What kinda cars do y'all have and I am guessing the interest rate is really high?





Quoting D.O.E.:

it may be a bit less, but my payment is 330biweekly, his is about the same, and i am counting insurance into that payment, about $100 per car monthly. i would like to see if we can refinance, or trade in but right now any financial messing around is just freaking me out. i know in order to do a trade in, we have to trade in for something newer than what i have, a 2011, and we owe $30,000 on that, so thats a lot of negative equity.

Quoting Fields456:

That's what I was wondering. Might be time to trade them in or refinance at a lower interest rate for more reasonable payments



Quoting lovinglife0682:

I am sorry. Why in the world would you have car payments that total $1500










sunnyday05
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:45 PM
How do you email money?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
OrientalLily
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:46 PM
I don't have anything constructive to say....

I guess I'm just curious as to how you will be able to afford life when both you and your dh, will be on EI?
And selling cows? Are you on a farm? Will that actually help you out?
VintageWife
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:51 PM

Oh wow, those car payments are INSANE!

D.O.E.
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:57 PM

he will only be on EI for jan and feb while he is in school, here if you have to leave work to continue your education in a trade, you get EI. it's one of the reasons everyone pays into EI. and i am guessing house and car will be paid and i will be putting whatever i can on household bills. 

amid the cattle are apparently his "school fund"  and they are out at his parents farm. would have to send to auction. and yes because the going rate is $1,000-$1,500 cow depending on weight. 10 cattle should cover all the credit cards, which are the biggest problem, and then those cards ae being sliced the fuck up. no more!

Quoting OrientalLily:

I don't have anything constructive to say....

I guess I'm just curious as to how you will be able to afford life when both you and your dh, will be on EI?
And selling cows? Are you on a farm? Will that actually help you out?


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)