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am i doing the right thing?

Posted by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:01 PM
  • 9 Replies

My husband has been a little abusive and hes called me and my child names. I left him and put a restraining order on him. The refrain from disorderly conduct. What we have in mind is that we are going to get the help he needs such as anger management classes, parenting classes and marriage counseling courses completed. For the year we are going to be living seprated until he completes those. He says he wants the help and wants to be with me but for right now he needs to get help so we can be together again. I am not going back to him till its all completed. I just dont know how in a year we are going to start over again especially with my child. I believe its the best way to go. Am I doing the right thing?

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:01 PM
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Replies (1-9):
LaughingTattoo
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:02 PM

I think youre doing the right thing. You are not giving up on dh but you are making it clear that you wont be with him if he cant change.

trishasjunebug
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:12 PM

I think it may be the best choice for everyone right now. Letting him back before anything is completed might just lead back to the abuse all over again...no one needs that especially when there are children involved.

  Lilypie - (yen6)  Lilypie - (gk1a)
                                 Lilypie - (d4Ha)

mikesmom65270
by Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:16 PM

Yes, this is the right thing to do.  You shouldn't stay with him until he has improved his behavior.  If he doesn't change, neither you nor the child need that.  As far as getting back together in a year, that will be a process and if he changes, if both of you continue to work together, you will have a different and better relationship.

giggle_girls777
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 3:28 PM
100% while doing all that counseling make a date night as well so you have a day alone to discuss changes and expectations once every thing is completed.
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mcwife86
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 3:33 PM

IF he commits to these classes and follows through with his promises then perhaps he is serious abt his desire to change. i would give the year of work a chance and see how he changes (or doesn't) then come to a conclusion afterwards.

crwspringer
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 3:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Only time will tell.

I do know these classes will only help if he wants to be helped. I would also put a stipulation in that after the classes are over that he must continue with counseling.
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pamelax3
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 3:38 PM

Oh course you are doing the right thing.. But make sure he completes everything before you take him back

Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 3:49 PM
It depends, this is what my SO and I did but it took several years of mutual work. I would possibly intertain the idea that some of it might be you too. Personally, I have a problem respecting boundries, privacy, and holding grudges.
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charliebean
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 3:58 PM

Why did you get a restraining order if you've both discussed this and agreed to the counseling and classes and stuff?

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