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Please help, at a total loss and frusterated!

Posted by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:03 PM
  • 62 Replies

 And PLEASE, do NOT bash me for the way I chose to disipline my children, I DO spank and will not ever think its wrong or bad. and Yes I was spanked as a child, but it was also abusive and I DO NOT abuse my children. So if you have a problem with what I am going to say just keep on moving because I do not need to be bashed or told I am a bad mother or anything else like that, I am honestly at my wits end and need some help and suggestions.

Does anyone else have trouble with their children stealing food and just generally having absolutely no regard for their or anyone else’s things? I am beyond frustrated and at my wits end with my children and their complete disregard for anything, including rules or me or their father telling them anything. I have done everything from make them throw away what they took, spanking them, taking away TV time or another toy, I have even gone as far as not letting them eat the next meal (but I feel that food is a necessity so when that didn’t work the first time I didn’t do it again). They run around the house destroying everything, writing on the walls, tearing things up, getting into things they KNOW they are not to, taking food whenever they want and if I (or their dad) see them with food or they ask for it and we say no they sneak off and eat it anyway. For instance, last night I made biscuits and stew, well they decided that they didn’t like the stew so they asked if they could have another biscuit and I told them no they needed to finish their stew first then they could have another biscuit and I went to get their shoes and my purse because we were taking dinner to daddy and I came back and they had both eaten at least one biscuit and not touched their stew, so they weren’t allowed to watch TV, they had to get jammies on as soon as we got back from taking food to daddy. Then earlier ODD got into the juices that we put in her lunch box (they are pretty expensive so she is only allowed to have them in her lunch box at school) and then next thing I know she is drinking it anyway so I took it away and spanked her for stealing and made her sit and think about what she did wrong and when I asked her what she did wrong she told me that she drank the juice after I told her no it was for school and I asked her what she should do if I tell her no to something and she said “say yes ma’am and put it back” so she knows exactly what she did wrong and she just doesn’t care.

Then a little while ago they went in the nursery (the nursery is a very hard subject because their brother that was stillborn this past January, all his things are still in there, personal things or special things are packed up, but I left all his clothes and baby things in the dresser, on the shelf and in the closet) and pulled everything out, threw everything on the floor and even pulled the diapers out of the packages, just completely trashed the whole room. They know that that is baby Ryders things and that they cant play in that room because we want to keep it nice for if we have another baby, but its also the guest room so its not like its a shrine or anything.

How do you take care of that and fix it? I know every child is different but I am just at a loss right now. And no I do not want to child proof my house, I want them to learn that they may not touch things that are not theirs, odd has gotten sooo bad about taking things she tried to steal from the grocery store yesterday. I want to house proof my children and teach them that when something is not theirs they may NOT touch, take, break, destroy or otherwise do anything with something that is not theirs or that they have specifically been told no to.

 

 

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by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pamelax3
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:09 PM

I am so sorry for your loss! Did this behavior start after your baby passed away? Maybe they are just angry and expressing themselves by misbehaving

KamWorthy
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:13 PM
2 moms liked this

Counciling, counciling, counciling.

tansyflower
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:16 PM

how old are your kids?

sbreece
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:17 PM
How old are they? How many are there? You keep referring to them as "they". Are they boys or girls?
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Ladybugmama86
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:19 PM

 It has gotten worse, but I do not believe that is the problem, they talk about him and tell people that he is an angel in heaven... They also cry about missing him and express in words about it.

Quoting pamelax3:

I am so sorry for your loss! Did this behavior start after your baby passed away? Maybe they are just angry and expressing themselves by misbehaving

 

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Ladybugmama86
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:19 PM

3&5 

Quoting tansyflower:

how old are your kids?

 

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Ladybugmama86
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:20 PM

 3 & 5 year old girls.

Quoting sbreece:

How old are they? How many are there? You keep referring to them as "they". Are they boys or girls?

 

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pamelax3
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:22 PM

Oh ok! I was just thinking maybe they were not able to express their sadness so they were acting out.

Quoting Ladybugmama86:

 It has gotten worse, but I do not believe that is the problem, they talk about him and tell people that he is an angel in heaven... They also cry about missing him and express in words about it.

Quoting pamelax3:

I am so sorry for your loss! Did this behavior start after your baby passed away? Maybe they are just angry and expressing themselves by misbehaving

 


Ladybugmama86
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:26 PM

 Why counseling? So I can have someone who charges an exorbitant amount of money tell me that my kids need meds??? No thank you, I think every behavior problem can be resolved with discipline, I just need to find what works with my children on this particular problem.

Quoting KamWorthy:

Counciling, counciling, counciling.

 

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Fifth Birthday tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers
tansyflower
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 5:27 PM

i think this is pretty typical behavior for that age range...not that it makes it any easier.  when my son is acting out i find that getting him outside in the fresh air is the best solution.  i have actually found that since its gotten colder out and we dont spend the majority of the day outside his attitude and behavior gets worse and worse.

my only other advise is continue to be consistant and to try to be gentle with yourself.  the whole family is going through a grief process right now and i am sorry for your loss :(

Quoting Ladybugmama86:

3&5 

Quoting tansyflower:

how old are your kids?

 


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