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I can't take this little girl anymore!!!

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 She's my 9yo sd. And I don't even know where to begin on how to describe her.

She is ADHD. Medicated, yes. When WE give it to her. Her mother seems to "forget" to give it to her all the time. THAT part, I can deal with. I can't deal with the compulsive lying, the stealing, the attitude, the arguing, the acting like she's stupid when you tell her to do something, the lying, the hitting, the temper tantrums she throws when she doesn't get her way, and oh yeah, did I mention the lying?? I can't STAND lying! And it's over the STUPIDEST things!

She has been in trouble every single night this week and I just don't know what to do with her anymore. She makes everyone in our home miserable. We are well aware that she needs attention. She does ALL of what she does for attention. So we give her LOTS of extra attention. But the second all eyes aren't on her, she's trying to make your life miserable. And she does a damn good job at it.

She is in counseling. And she loves it. Because she gets that man's 110% one-on-one attention for that entire hour. She loves it so much that her mother decided it would be a good idea to use it as a punishment. Yeah. She told her that if she didn't start acting right, then she wasn't going anymore. WHAT SENSE DOES THAT MAKE?????? UGH!!!

It's gotten so bad that her mother is calling, literally crying to dh on a daily basis saying she doesn't know what to do anymore. Her own MOTHER calls her a devil child. We've all tried everything. Rewarding, punishing (never hitting...she gets things taken away, gets grounded, etc. but she just doesn't care), writing sentences, going to bed early, we've tried just talking to her...I swear we've tried it all. Nothing works. She seriously doesn't care about anything. This week she's already gotten a Christmas gift taken away because she went snooping through our bedroom, which both kids KNOW to stay out of our room because we have guns in there. She found the one gift, then made up this whole huge story when she was caught red-handed by dh, lied til she was blue in the face. So now she's not getting that gift. She's gotten all electronics taken away, and last night she went to bed at 6:30 because of the crap she pulled. (All of these punishments aren't over the snooping thing. They were for all different reasons, I just don't want to write a book on all the crap she's done just this week.)

I'm just at my wits end with her. I have to vent on here before I end up screaming at her or worse...We do a very good job at not losing it to her / in front of her...I want to keep it that way. I just don't know what to do anymore.

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:36 AM
Replies (11-20):
JustMe0326
by Platinum Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:05 AM

 It's not the meds. Meds don't make you not lie.

The meds DO work. They work perfectly while she's in school. Her family doctor won't up the dosage because he doesn't see anything wrong with her. She KNOWS how to behave. She just refuses to. She's VERY minipulative.

Quoting StoneColdKiller:

Wow you guys are really dropping the ball here.



The meds aren't working, why does it take a stranger to tell you that?

 

askyourmother
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Its not just the Adhd that is causing her to act like that. Its lack of consistency and there could be something else going on.
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JustMe0326
by Platinum Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Good luck to you too. Feel free to pm me any time. Maybe we can vent to each other instead of losing it on our kids :/

Quoting JessicaRee:

You just described my step son. We're lost too. Family counseling did nothing. He has taken every med on the market to no avail. We have tried punishments and rewards good enough for a school of troubled boys with no luck.
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wildlilacs
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Try to get her behavior on video, then show it to the docs, since they only see one side of her. Take several videos, different senarios. Maybe then docs will understand. Try to them wo her knowing.
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silverdawn99
by Jamie on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:15 AM

i am sorry but it does not sound like ADHD

it sounds like something more serious than that. Good luck OP

momof1jackson
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:18 AM
Have you heard of O.D.D? It sounds like she may have that as well. Look into it. There are other medications she can take for that.
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sjw87
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:18 AM

This is what I think, punish her as in she can NEVER be alone. If you are in the kitchen making dinner so is she even if that means shes sitting on the floor right next to you.

I agree this is not just ADHD, she needs consistency but the manipulative behavior seems more pshycophathic/narcissistic to me. There is something else going on here.

I'm sure part of it is parent induced, because my mom delt with me so well I was able to make it to 15 without meds. I take them daily still and it really helps but I was never a manipulative liar.

I would suggest to video tape her, without her knowing if possible weather that means setting up nanny cams all over your house or something else. But you need to be able to show the doctors whats going on with her. Without her knowing thats what your doing, the only way they are going to get it is to see it.

Oh I should add I have ADHD, ODD and a mild form of mood bipolar.

 

Momtogirls0823
by Gold Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:35 AM

I really suggest more consistency and her taking the meds. on a regular basis.  Also, find a family dr. who will actually support you in this.  You said your family dr. doesn't even believe it's ADHD.  You need to get all physicians on the same page.  Believe me, the more people you have on your side the better!  Also, consider changing meds. or dosages.  It sounds like they aren't working.  Good luck!  

Treymama
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:07 AM
The meds aren't being giving consistently so of course they are not going to work and no medication will unless it is given how its supposed to.



Quoting StoneColdKiller:

Wow you guys are really dropping the ball here.





The meds aren't working, why does it take a stranger to tell you that?
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JustMe0326
by Platinum Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:22 PM
I just don't want to change the meds or the dosage when it might work just fine if its given to her regularly, kwim?? I don't want to make her a zombie...

Quoting Momtogirls0823:

I really suggest more consistency and her taking the meds. on a regular basis.  Also, find a family dr. who will actually support you in this.  You said your family dr. doesn't even believe it's ADHD.  You need to get all physicians on the same page.  Believe me, the more people you have on your side the better!  Also, consider changing meds. or dosages.  It sounds like they aren't working.  Good luck!  

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