Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Cheapest way to get a divorce...?

Posted by   + Show Post
Is there a cheapest way to get divorced? I want a divorce, would rather not go into detail. We talked today about it, and promised each other we would not get nasty (I know everyone says that).
I told him I want NOTHING but our son. He can have it all, and I'll get my own place with DS. I also have NO plan to to take any rights away as a father. I want them to be able to see each other as much as I can.

So can we do this without a lawyer? I really don't believe he will get nasty. His main concern our son, just like mine.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:13 AM
Replies (31-40):
ccnstanczak
by Save Humanity! on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:59 PM
it gets expensive when you have to drag it out and dont agree and have to go to court over every other detail. you *can* share a lawyer and submit your own parenting visitation and child support plans and all the judge has to approve it. you can get online forms and samples. The child support amount idk how they figure that, idk yet. its what dh and i are doing. we are divorcing and making our own plans. talk to your stbxh and see if hes up to that. then separtly write down what you want and he do the same, take it to an attorney and see where you agree and what you are willing to negotiate.
FunnyKids
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:02 PM

As long as things go as planned you shouldn't need one. And remember if things do go south that some (most) lawyers will do the work for a divorce and let you make payments to them. Don't be scared to find one and ask if exDH starts changing things.

Quoting Y2kmomma:

I don't have any money for a lawyer =\


Quoting FunnyKids:

This....and don't worry, if at anytime he changes his tune the court will let you get a lawyer and go from there so you should be pretty safe to do it this way


Quoting frndlyfn:


Yes Pick up the paperwork from court house or print it off at home.  You will be charged to file but the paperwork is free.


 



serenity1966
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:21 PM

Y2kmomma,

I can understand your feelings of wanting nothing but your son, however, I would like to caution you to make sure you write down specifics of the divorce. Right now, things are civil, but in my experience and many others that I have spoken with...things will eventually change and you will run into problems later on any details of your divorce....especially child support. A man will say anything in the beginning to keep things peaceful and easier on himself and his pocket until things are final. I don't say this out of anger towards men, but out of love and respect for single mothers. Your child has a right to child support. No one can predict the future, however things do happen and change and because of that, you want to always know that your child will be properly provided for.  Don't forget there are many things a child will want and need, school supplies, doctor appointments, braces, school pictures, clothes, shoes, spring break, graduation, homecoming, prom...etc. If you don't want to decide on an exact amount, at least state in your divorce that he pay 50% of all expenses (health/medical, clothing, school supplies / events, tutuoring sessions, etc.) relating to your child. Things, Feelings & Needs change daily...so please don't put yourself in a position that you may regret later.  I was once in your position and was told the same things...and things rapidly changed months later...and I don't want this to happen to you or anyone else. I hope this helps!

ChelseaLDD
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:48 PM

You don't have to go through a court battle and all that, if you both don't need to, but I'd strongly recommend getting a lawyer to go through mediation or draw up visitation papers with you and your (ex) husband to get everything in writing, and legalized in terms of custody.

Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:57 PM
Oh I would want child support! I work part time making barley 1,000 a month. He makes $1000 a week after taxes. I will make sure to be more specific, because if that's how you took that, then courts may take it that way also.
Thank you!

Quoting serenity1966:

Y2kmomma,

I can understand your feelings of wanting nothing but your son, however, I would like to caution you to make sure you write down specifics of the divorce. Right now, things are civil, but in my experience and many others that I have spoken with...things will eventually change and you will run into problems later on any details of your divorce....especially child support. A man will say anything in the beginning to keep things peaceful and easier on himself and his pocket until things are final. I don't say this out of anger towards men, but out of love and respect for single mothers. Your child has a right to child support. No one can predict the future, however things do happen and change and because of that, you want to always know that your child will be properly provided for.  Don't forget there are many things a child will want and need, school supplies, doctor appointments, braces, school pictures, clothes, shoes, spring break, graduation, homecoming, prom...etc. If you don't want to decide on an exact amount, at least state in your divorce that he pay 50% of all expenses (health/medical, clothing, school supplies / events, tutuoring sessions, etc.) relating to your child. Things, Feelings & Needs change daily...so please don't put yourself in a position that you may regret later.  I was once in your position and was told the same things...and things rapidly changed months later...and I don't want this to happen to you or anyone else. I hope this helps!



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
wife57thstreet
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:57 PM

Divorces are tough and even though you may both try to keep it amicable there is a lot at stake and people can get nasty. It is important to protect yourself. My friend went through a similar situation and used a divorce finance company rather than borrowing from family or friends. Her credit was not effected and no repayments were made until settlement. BBL Churchill funded her legal fees and living expenses throughout the divorce. With the proper legal counsel her divorce ended up going very smoothly. Best of luck whatever you decide.  

Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:02 PM
I just looked at there website...it says you need to be expecting a settlement at the end of everything. I'm not at all.
Did I read it wrong?


Quoting wife57thstreet:

Divorces are tough and even though you may both try to keep it amicable there is a lot at stake and people can get nasty. It is important to protect yourself. My friend went through a similar situation and used a divorce finance company rather than borrowing from family or friends. Her credit was not effected and no repayments were made until settlement. BBL Churchill funded her legal fees and living expenses throughout the divorce. With the proper legal counsel her divorce ended up going very smoothly. Best of luck whatever you decide.  


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SilverOcean84
by Cindy on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:26 PM

 If a lawyer is needed at any point try contacting the Connecticut Women's Education and Legal Fund ( http://www.cwealf.org/). They help those who can not afford it.

Quoting Y2kmomma:

I don't have any money for a lawyer =\


Quoting FunnyKids:

This....and don't worry, if at anytime he changes his tune the court will let you get a lawyer and go from there so you should be pretty safe to do it this way


Quoting frndlyfn:


Yes Pick up the paperwork from court house or print it off at home.  You will be charged to file but the paperwork is free.


 


 

katzmeow726
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:29 PM

Depends on where you live.  As long as it is uncontested, you won't need a lawyer (I think...).  It might be good to get a mediator at least, I don't think it costs too much. But I think you can also just fill out the paperwork, and turn it in to the court house.  Work out custody arrangements now.  Even if you guys are on good terms, things could change.  Go ahead and get arrangements made, so that it won't cause as much drama down the road.

Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 4:11 PM
Thank you very much!


Quoting SilverOcean84:

 If a lawyer is needed at any point try contacting the Connecticut Women's Education and Legal Fund ( http://www.cwealf.org/). They help those who can not afford it.


Quoting Y2kmomma:

I don't have any money for a lawyer =\



Quoting FunnyKids:


This....and don't worry, if at anytime he changes his tune the court will let you get a lawyer and go from there so you should be pretty safe to do it this way



Quoting frndlyfn:



Yes Pick up the paperwork from court house or print it off at home.  You will be charged to file but the paperwork is free.



 



 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)