Response to "IF YOU ARE FAT, YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER"
Question: If you are fat, are you setting a bad example for your children? *This applies only to being fat because you dont take care of yourself. I.E, you dont exercise or eat right.
Yes, totally. I'm teaching them that I am not strong enough or have the willpower to change for the better.
No, its my body. They will have their own body opinions.
^^this is all I can do, by way of quoting, since I'm on my phone.
I was completely shocked when I read many replies that agreed with the title "if you are fat, you are a bad mother"
I was curious what others (outside the 20-something group) would think, whether or not they share the same viewpoint with the original poster.
this was my reply:
This is the first time I've been even remotely rude on CafeMom, but I can't help but say, after reading all the replies and whatnot:
So many of you folks are idiots...basing your opinions of health based on body type.
I don't know if you folks are just trying to play devil's advocate and argue your way through to prove everyone who doesn't fit into a visually appealing little box on a weight chart is a bad parent, or if you really believe the crap you're posting.
Having a high BMI can lead to issues further down the road. The key to that sentence is *can*. And take note of BMI, not *weight*.
If you're basing someone's dedication in or ability to take care of and raise their children based on what *could* happen in the future, then you're just a simple, plain old idiot. If you're going to pass judgement on someone, at least have something real to accuse them of, instead of how they eat or how often they work out, or worse, how they look. Even a trained doctor doesn't call someone unhealthy without doing an exam.
If you are making all of your choices of what your children can or cannot do, based on everything that *could* happen, you must never leave your house... Unless your worries are solely related to their physical appearance. In which case, you're the bad parent.
I have always been over the charted weight, thusly labelled "obese". Yet even after I came back from basic training, running two to four miles everyother day, and muscle failure days, inbetween, resulting in my being in the best physical shape of my life, I was still "obese" since my body weight didn't fit into that pathetic box so many doctors try to fit everyone in. But my BMI was perfect for my height.
Yourseemingly limited view on right and wrong based on outward appearance *can* seriously affect your children, their self confidence, their self worth, and their prejudice of others based on their appearance, not to mention their unhealthy addiction to diets. That sums up your apparent eligibility to be called a bad parent.
By your posted arguments, anyone who is physically disabled would be a bad parent, as would anyone who may have a heart condition and has limitations on their physical capabilities. By your standards, someone who spends hours at the gym would also be limiting time with children and therefore be qualified to be called a bad parent.
--oh! I'm mistaken, as long as she looks hot, she can spend every freaking day at the gym and still be a good parent because she's instilling the importance of shallow and limited beauty.
Ignorance and intolerance is taught. We are not born knowing how to hate. It is ingrained in us by our upbringing, whether intentional or not, your children see you, hear you, and learn from you. When we hear the word prejudice, many think the word applies only to racists, it applies to anyone who makes a quick judgement of a group of people based on limited knowledge, whether it be a race, religion, skin color, or, in your case body type. What do your kids "see" you doing? What do your kids overhear you saying about others? What examples are you setting for your children? What intolerance and hatred are you teaching your children?
If you're raising shallow biggots, I think you qualify for the highest rank of bad parent!