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I feel so horrible :(

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:50 PM
  • 22 Replies
My dad for as long as I can remember has had a drinking problem and its progressed over the years, he gets aggressive and says hurtful things, we have tried and tried and he's had chance after chance, last night he told my brother he's nothing an such a disappointment and my mother she's only around because its easier, that's the short version and over the years it's become normal for him, my brother suffers depression and my mom is constantly sick from stress. I just sent my dad a letter saying how we've tried and how much it hurts us, the part I feel bad about is where I say I no longer care what he thinks of me. Anyway this is the short version and he hurts us constantly without caring and yet I feel guilty because I still don't want to hurt his feelings :( I guess this is just a vent, thank you for listening
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by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyakabooby
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:53 PM
My ex is an abusive drunk like that too. It's sucks. But I don't have any advice really. Just that he is who he is, you can either love him that way or stay away.
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Due9
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:54 PM

Dealing with someone who has an addiction is very difficult. You just have to love them and let go. Let go to protect yourself.

lovelove211
by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:55 PM
Thank you


Quoting mommyakabooby:

My ex is an abusive drunk like that too. It's sucks. But I don't have any advice really. Just that he is who he is, you can either love him that way or stay away.

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lovelove211
by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:56 PM
It's only been the past few years since I had kids that I've been thinking the same thing, I don't want them growing up seeing all of this


Quoting Due9:

Dealing with someone who has an addiction is very difficult. You just have to love them and let go. Let go to protect yourself.


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Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:57 PM
This sounds a lot like my Dad.
I always had a hard time telling him how I felt because I didn't want it to upset him and it be the last thing he heard from me.
My therapist told me I should tell him, if I let things go, I'm only enabling him.
So I told him how I felt, and he died the next day. He took Xanax and drank, and the combination killed him =(

I'm sure that's not exactly what you want to hear...but I know how you feel dealing with your dad like that.
Sorry you have to go through that.
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twoblues
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:59 PM
Don't feel guilty, you did the right thing by expressing your feelings. I'm sorry for you and your family. Hopefully he will eventually do something about his drinking problem.
Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:59 PM
I should add..he had liver failure that's why I was always scared of loosing him.
We still don't know to this day if the pills and drinking was suicide, or an accident.
=(

Quoting Y2kmomma:

This sounds a lot like my Dad.

I always had a hard time telling him how I felt because I didn't want it to upset him and it be the last thing he heard from me.

My therapist told me I should tell him, if I let things go, I'm only enabling him.

So I told him how I felt, and he died the next day. He took Xanax and drank, and the combination killed him =(



I'm sure that's not exactly what you want to hear...but I know how you feel dealing with your dad like that.

Sorry you have to go through that.


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Due9
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:59 PM

By letting go, just distance yourself a bit. Always love your father, always be there if he really needs you and understand that the alcohol addiction has taken over his body and mind. Deep down, he is still your dad. Just don't be around him while he's drunk. Limit visits. I had to do this with my dad. I told him I loved him, but kept my distance and told him I don't want to be around him while he was drinking. He stopped a few years ago and things have gotten better now. Thank God.

Quoting lovelove211:

It's only been the past few years since I had kids that I've been thinking the same thing, I don't want them growing up seeing all of this


Quoting Due9:

Dealing with someone who has an addiction is very difficult. You just have to love them and let go. Let go to protect yourself.



juggling

lovelove211
by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:01 PM
Thank you for sharing. How did you feel after telling him? Despite his death obviously. I'm very sorry it ended like that for you


Quoting Y2kmomma:

This sounds a lot like my Dad.

I always had a hard time telling him how I felt because I didn't want it to upset him and it be the last thing he heard from me.

My therapist told me I should tell him, if I let things go, I'm only enabling him.

So I told him how I felt, and he died the next day. He took Xanax and drank, and the combination killed him =(



I'm sure that's not exactly what you want to hear...but I know how you feel dealing with your dad like that.

Sorry you have to go through that.

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lovelove211
by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:03 PM
Thank you. I really hope he changes, I really don't know how much longer he will even be around if he continues living this way


Quoting Due9:

By letting go, just distance yourself a bit. Always love your father, always be there if he really needs you and understand that the alcohol addiction has taken over his body and mind. Deep down, he is still your dad. Just don't be around him while he's drunk. Limit visits. I had to do this with my dad. I told him I loved him, but kept my distance and told him I don't want to be around him while he was drinking. He stopped a few years ago and things have gotten better now. Thank God.

Quoting lovelove211:

It's only been the past few years since I had kids that I've been thinking the same thing, I don't want them growing up seeing all of this





Quoting Due9:

Dealing with someone who has an addiction is very difficult. You just have to love them and let go. Let go to protect yourself.





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