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5yr Old Behavior Issues--Need some Insight From Moms With Kids With Behavior Problems!

Posted by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:43 PM
  • 25 Replies

 My daughter just turned 5 last month and started the public preschool almost 2 weeks ago (her bday is in november but the state cutoff for kindergarten is Aug 1st). She has only had one good day in those two weeks. I know she is extremely active, emotional, and strong willed. She has gone to daycare since 10 weeks with only a few breaks of 3 months max. The latest daycare she went to was an "exploration" classroom and now she is in a structured classroom with lessons to be done, special class every day, etc. She has had issues during naptime since the age of 4--but only at daycare/school. She has had issues with meltdowns for the last year also--mostly at daycare/school (very rarely at home). She asks to go to school even on he weekends, says she loves it, and every day says she will "fix it."

I'm at my witts end, they will kick her out if this continues. (not listening, refusing to do some of her work, being loud during naptime, taking her socks & shoes off (habit from other kids at last daycare), and even oday already I got a call she is hitting/kicking) I just don't know what to do other than push her dr to go ahead and test her--adhd runs in both sides of the family, dh doesn't have a formal diagnosis but has been told he has aspergers, adhd, and possibly bipolar disorder.

Just some background: We moved from upstate ny to southeast missouri a little over a year ago, I got pregnant shortly afterwards. She loved me being pregnant, going to ultrasound appts, and absolutely LOVES her baby sister.


*adding: Found out she has been drinking chocolate milk every day at lunch--she has horrible behavior after having chocolate so she won't be getting that anymore at lunch. Hopefully that helps a ton. If not I'm pushing testing.


by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kellileanne
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 3:30 PM

BUMP!

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 4:10 PM

I would see a child behaviorist as well or a child psychologist.   Her acting out may be a way for her to gain attention from the teachers at preschool  or she just may not be emotionally ready to be in that type of structure.   Have you tried a reward chart at home.  A bingo (plastic) chip for each day there are no bad reports from school and after a certain amount, she gets a reward of your choosing.

Kellileanne
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 5:27 PM

 

Quoting frndlyfn:

I would see a child behaviorist as well or a child psychologist.   Her acting out may be a way for her to gain attention from the teachers at preschool  or she just may not be emotionally ready to be in that type of structure.   Have you tried a reward chart at home.  A bingo (plastic) chip for each day there are no bad reports from school and after a certain amount, she gets a reward of your choosing.

 I have a call in to her dr to get a referral.  We had a behavior chart before and it worked for quite a while then suddenly stopped working.

MrS.GiFFord
by Brittany on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:02 PM

She sounds a lot like my 5 yr old son...I plan on taking him to his 5 year check up and asking his doctor about it.

A_McCool
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:16 PM

I would definitely have her evaluated to see if there is anything more going on than bad behavior.  I, also, do not have an official diagnosis, but it is strongly suspected that I have Asperger's Syndrome/HFA.  However, I never had any problems at school.  Instead of acting out, I sort of melted into the background.  I just did my work and didn't speak to anyone.  I'm not sure why no one found that odd, but I wasn't being disruptive so no one seemed to notice me. I'm now 26, and I still don't have a diagnosis. I was made to feel inferior my entire life.  My problems were because I was lazy, disorganized, lacked common sense, immature, antisocial, rude, etc.  There were so many adjectives that were used to describe me, but everyone seemed to think it was because of some character flaw or my attitude. Honestly, I think my downfall was that I made such good grades.  My parents couldn't view me as having an issue because I easily made straight A's.

Anyway, my point is if there is an issue such as Asperger's or something else, it may actually be beneficial that she is acting out.  This way it can be evaluated, and she can learn coping skills.

kansasmom1978
by Katie on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:27 PM

I have no clue. My kids have not napped since they were 2 and neither of their schools had naps at school.

WarriorMum
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 7:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like your wee poppet is giving the staff a run for their money.  It will take time for her to settle into their routine as it may be simply be a re-adjustment period for her. The difficulty clearly isn't with her from what you have written. The staff need to work with her and give her time to settle down and take into consideration that she has been with other care providers who operated differently.  I would normally give a child a month for each year that they are..your wee lass is 5 so it will take up to 5 months for her to find her way in her new setting before I would be looking at other reasons/causes for her behaviour.

The advice that I would give to you, is stand firm with the Day Care providers to give her time to settle down and re-enforce to them  that she is a well behaved child at home who gives you no cause for concern.

larissacst
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:05 AM

Since someone mentioned "rewards"...My 6 dS is in Kinder. They do the color chart, green is the best color. If he gets 3 greens a week (I know, most would say 5 but I'm easy) we go to the restaurant of his picking (although McDonalds only every other month, foods yummy crap) or to the park, whererever he wants to go. Now he's starting to get greens all week to ensure that we'll have that time together.

Kellileanne
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:30 AM

 I don't know if they will give her 5 months of this behavior, this is a public early childhood program and they have a waiting list.  In their paperwork it says that continuing behavior issues are grounds for giving your spot to someone else.  I know they will give her another month but if she doesn't get it by then she will stay home with me till she starts kindergarten in August.  I was planning to return to work in January or February. 

Quoting WarriorMum:

Sounds like your wee poppet is giving the staff a run for their money.  It will take time for her to settle into their routine as it may be simply be a re-adjustment period for her. The difficulty clearly isn't with her from what you have written. The staff need to work with her and give her time to settle down and take into consideration that she has been with other care providers who operated differently.  I would normally give a child a month for each year that they are..your wee lass is 5 so it will take up to 5 months for her to find her way in her new setting before I would be looking at other reasons/causes for her behaviour.

The advice that I would give to you, is stand firm with the Day Care providers to give her time to settle down and re-enforce to them  that she is a well behaved child at home who gives you no cause for concern.

 


loveTHEviking
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:35 AM
1 mom liked this
She sounds a lot like my 5 yr old. Taking her to be evaluated is a really good idea! Stay strong momma :).
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