If you haven't realized your son has an insecurity problem and more, by now, you never will. Being pissed off and getting angry with your son for hiding his wet clothing is not going to solve the problem, it will make it worse. Take the advice you've been given by PPs, and have your son checked by a behavioural specialist or child psychologist. Something by the way, you should have done a long time ago.
He's not lazy. That's a bullshit excuse on your part. I had to have a renal scan when I was his age because my parents couldn't figure out what to do. My kidneys were fine, but I was a very heavy sleeper. I had an alarm that would go off if I wet the bed (you may want to look in to them). I would sleep right thru it but the rest of the house woke up. No one could ever figure it out. I have heard that certain food allergies can cause bed wetting, so if it were my child, that would be a route I would look in to. Another thing I would suggest is to talk to him about his dreams. I have very vivid dreams. I finally learned to train myself that if I had a dream that I was either looking for a toilet or sitting on one that I needed to wake up asap. He's obviously embarrassed about the issue since he is not wearing the training pants & hiding the accidents from you. Poor kid.
Quoting Kageegirl:
Yes he has no medical issue that is causing his bed wetting. He is just a heavy sleeper and lazy. Doesn't want to get out of bed when he does wake up because he is too scared and sleeps to hard most nights to notice he does it.
Quoting frndlyfn:
It sounds like he is very insecure about things. The hiding of wet clothing and not using what he needs would frustrate me. I am presuming he has been to the doctor about it to rule out any medical conditions aside from immature bladder.
he seems fearful.
Compromise, go with him for his tasks for a day - and tell him the next day you will wait in the hall and the next day - further away.
Then you will just talk to him while he goes by himself.
gradually - he will get used to doing things on his own and lose his fear.
My son is now 20. He was a bed wetter til about 13. He didn't have any medical issues either. I had no answers for it and was told that it can run in the family, was more common in boys, and had several possible reasons. Was advised to not allow drinks for 2-3 hours before bedtime and then try to train him again by waking him up in the middle of the night and taking him the to bathroom. This worked on and off then eventually i got tired as he got older and just made him deal with it himself. By the time he was 10 he was cleaning it up himself. The other issue about not wanting to do anything alone may be a separate issue altogether. Counseling?
If he's hiding the pajamas he is embarassed and afraid of punishment. That won't help him wake up to use the bathroom. He needs to know it is not his fault and that his body just needs to start waking him up when he needs to pee.
There are pullup alarms that go off when they get wet. It might teach him by waking him when he starts to pee.
You can also set your alarm for 3 hours and wake up every 3 hours to take him to the bathroom. Some parents find that after doing this for a couple of weeks their child starts waking up for the bathroom on their own.
Thinking your child is "lazy" just perpetuates the issue. When someone insists thatyou are something, you become it.
Quoting Kageegirl:
Before you all go postal I have had my son checked by a doctor for his bed wetting. The doctor didn't find anything physical or mentally wrong with him. Per the doctors suggestions I tried setting an alarm and waking him up, but Everytime I take him he says he doesn't have to go. He'll stand there two or 3 minutes trying to go and doesn't. I put him back to bed and 9 times out of 10 when I got back in there to take him again he's already peed. I've also tried not letting him drink past 6pm, pottying him before bed numerous times ect. As per the pull up thing in the original post I stated he wears a good night. As for not wanting to go in a room by himself that has to do with my parents. When he stayed a weekend over the summer at my parents my dad let him watch jeepers creepers and pumpkin head. Then he told him a scary story about bloody Mary. Dad said he begged him to let him watch them and he begged for a scary story. I asked my son why he lied about putting a pull up on and he said because his legs were to tired and he didn't want to get out of bed. I asked why he hid the fact that he wet his bed and he said because I lied about my pull up. I told him I wasn't mad that he wet the bed just mad he lied. I told him if he would have just told me he didn't have a pull up on I would have gotten him one to put on. He said okay and that was that. I'm not as evil as I may have come off. I was just eventing my frustrations.
Do you stay in the bathroom with your son when you've taken him to use the toilet? If you do, that could be part of the problem. A lot of boys at age 7 are embarrassed to do their "business" in front of someone, Moms especially. My youngest grandson is the same age as your son, & he will not use the toilet if his Mother is in the bathroom.
Idk, I can see where you are coming from but I am seeing a lot of those things in my 5 year old, besides the bed wetting which isn't his fault. Kids will tell little white lies at times, maybe he did it because he was scared to tell you. I would just let it go. I still help bath my 5 year old and do all that, maybe he just needs some attention. Get his bath started and set him up with toys and then walk out, you don't have to sit with him the whole time.
Is it just me, or... ?
- Kageegirl
on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:41 AM